Trouble moving on

[mountaingirl]

It’s been three months of no contact with my ex and I’m struggling. It was terrible relationship. We had a great connection, great chemistry but the relationship itself was messy and confusing as hell.

 

I want to message my ex, I want things to work out. But it was so hard, in such a short amount of time.

 

Before that I went through two other bad relationships and had a bad boss.

 

Basically my self-worth is terribly low. I’m just so furious at myself for not taking care of myself, not watching out for things, not listening to myself. For making bad decisions. I’m terrified of making any decision now because it might be wrong.

 

But I’m having so much trouble moving on. It’s exacerbated because of this relationship and lack of support, and the fact that I left the country to go home.

 

Since then, I’ve hated being home and want to return but I can’t. He’s there, I have missed job opportunities there, and now my visa is expiring and I can't renew it because I left.

 

I’m in utter limbo now. I don’t want to be here but I can’t go back. I have a flight booked back in a few weeks (it was meant to be a visit after I came home and sorted my life out) and I don’t know if I should take it. I can’t stay there because my visa is expiring. I feel like such a failure. Do I just need more time to get over this past relationship? It REALLY messed me up with so many questions. I don’t have any closure on it.

[sputnik123]

Hi Mountaingirl,

 

Sorry to hear you are in such pain.

 

You may have to find your own closure on this. Not every relationship ends well and neatly for both people.

 

3 months of no contact is quite long. Contacting now will be opening up the wound.

 

Time will be the best healer for you.

 

Stay strong. Vent on here as much as you need. It does help.

[DaisyMayPorter]

Keep no contact and start a new a life for yourself. Things will get better soon.

[SweetGirl28]

Who broke up with who, and why?

And who initiated NC?

 

You might have to find your own closure.

You're very unsettled, which is exacerbating your desire to contact him.

The key to your life, and your happiness, is not within him. It's within yourself.

Hang in there. Time is the true healer.

When you get your life a bit straightened out, you will begin to feel better.