A complex situation with a friend/love interest

[MomenSaaf]

Take this back to end of laSt year , a girl who was a simple cutiepie with me in class who showed interest in me , starting talking to her and helping each other out from time to time but with no intention of a love relationship , this girl that was only a friend grew on me so much , had a rough summer and she was with me all along , helped me with my music career , gave me a world of love and caring , not the prettiest but I never seen such a beautiful soul , when the time came so I would break the ice and take the relationship to another level , I started dropping subtle hints , I could sense her being afraid of being with me , maybe because I was a cold hearted bastard who jumped from a relationship to another , the only thing that matters now is that I have changed , so one day I f***ed up big time , got blocked , roughest period of my life emotionally, couldnt sleep or do anything for a good while , that's why I can say I love her , waited after it for 3 weeks until college started again , she wouldn't talk to me , one day I tried to confront her and she literally ran away and didn't give me a chance to speak , after a week maybe I was sick and I fainted in class , while I was walking down the stairs she saw me all messed up and yellow-ish and asked me how was I and if i needed help , kinda strange , and everyday I would catch her staring at me and we have eye contact almost everyday , and I do not intend to stay wondering if I dodged a bullet or lost the love of my life , I really need closure ,I know it's not an ex but more of a complicated situation . my English isn't the sharpest I know but try to help a brother out xD what should I do ?

[Andrina]

If it were me, I'd probably write her a letter and explain you've matured in the last year. You realize the mistakes you've made in the past and you've learned from them. Ask her if she will give you the chance to show her the new you. I'd hand her the note and then the ball is in her court. If she doesn't want to give you a chance, you will then achieve closure and can emotionally move on. If she gives you a chance, then you can prove how much you care by putting in the effort to build a meaningful relationship. Good luck.

[Zippy2000]

You mention dropping subtle hints? How subtle? How hard where you chasing after her? I say his because whatever you say would be different from her side of the story. There are 2 sides to every story and for a girl to block you. That in itself says something.

 

So, you chase her, you cant get hold of her and then you want closure. This is all too much. Give her some breathing space.