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How do I get past her relationships while we were broke up?


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My girlfriend and I have had a long bumpy relationship. We've been on and off for almost 7yrs... long story. But things changed about three years ago. She wanted to move in so I agreed. I still wasn't ready but thought it was the right move. Not long after she moved in I was unexpectedly approached by a girl. I thought, ok, this will be my last experience with someone else. So stupid me allowed something to happen. I was so distraught I couldn't perform and stoppped. My girlfriend found some communication on my phone and confronted me. I told her the whole truth. I told her how ed up it was that at that moment I realized how much I was in love with her. She lost it! Told her daughter and all out friends. I was so ashamed and humiliated. For two years we'd get back together. I tried so hard to make things right but would happen and we'd break up. In hindsight and in my opinion she just couldn't forgive me. In the last year on out breakups she's gotten in 3 emotional and intimate relationships. The last two were the most. She was trying to move on. I get that. I just can't get past the hurt. I wasn't the one wanting to breakup these last 2 years. Kinda feel like a hypocrite but I'm struggling....

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