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My Child's mom and I broke up after almost three years and I think she has already moved on

jdratliff

By jdratliff
in Breaking Up Advice

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jdratliff Newbie

jdratliff

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Me and the mother of my child had been dating two months prior to a three year anniversary. We had ups and downs in the relationship like any but I mostly been good to her and her two kids. In the final year of our relationship we brought our son into this world. Later on down the line, after about 7 months, she breaks up with me because I supposedly won't "put my pride to the side" and stop being insecure because I would always bring up the time she did something with someone else on me in our second year together. But like a month before the true breakup, I pulled up on her and her guy friend that was her first when she was in high school plus ex and she claimed that she wasn't going to do anything with him but just take him to get something to eat for gas but the messages I saw showed that it was potentially more to come after that. But anyways, back to the present a month after that stuff, she started a petty argument and kicked me out one night for me and the baby coming in late because i didn't check in because my phone was broken. Mind you the whole week, she was trying to keep tabs on me and pulling up on my job to find out where I'm at and my day's schedule. A week after we broke up, her Facebook comes up in my browser on my laptop that i don't use and of course i go through her messages and see that the next morning after kicking me out, she told her best friend's boyfriend to let his friends know that she was single. So fast forward through the messages and she didn't talk to anyone else but he asked her what was her preference and what she told him basically describes me when we first started dating. After we got into it about that she tricked me over that night talking about picking up the baby and basically when i got there, she had no undergarments on, just a shirt/dress on that was a maternity shirt i had bought her back during the pregnancy... when i followed her to her room and asked for the baby bag, she started to undress me and pulled me to her bed to lay down. I resisted though and the next day she said we needed to talk but I told her she tricked me over and was trying to use s** to lure me back again after she did something that was wrong from my point of view like she always did when she messed up. But it seems like ever since then, she didn't pay any more attention to me. Now where I went wrong was the NC rule.

 

After a week, I had a meltdown one day and begged her to be with me but she was nonchalant about it and kept checking her phone because she was messaging someone. Another week later, when I have my son, she had rushed to pack his stuff a couple of days prior and didn't pack some of his medicine. I could see that she was getting ready to send the other kids off too, one with his grandma out of town and the other with his dad.

 

So back to the present day, I leave out for work super early around 4:30 a.m. because I was going to go by her house and get his medicine and drive it back to my house so my mom could have it while she babysit for me. So I get to her house around 5 am and shes not there. Her phone is off so the only way we communicate is when she's around wifi. I was messaging her and the messages were going through but she wasn't responding after her first response. I don't know if she was at a restaurant, a motel, or at someone's house but she was most definitely out up to something at 5 am and none of her friends knew her whereabouts. But she doesn't get home until 8 am and i finally get her to let me in and i found our son's medicine and i immediately question about who she was with and she claims that she was with a friend and was not going to disclose who it was. I accused her of doing something with someone and at first she yells we not together anymore then she goes quiet and she just walks off out of her own front door. So after arguing and having another breakdown she said she didn't want to be with me anymore but wanted to be good friends and that I will always have a special place in her heart.

 

On my IG, she has been looking at everything i post because I can see who views my posts. Her family claims I'm the best guy she ever had because I took in two kids not even my own and treated them like they were mine...gotten attached and all. And her mom talks to me regularly checking up on me because she knows I was really hurt but encourages me to move on because her daughter can't see what she has...plus she tells me that when they talk on the phone, it sounds like she had been crying or so or was crying. It's only been about four weeks now. She has been with someone on me in the past and claimed it was a huge mistake because she didn't want to lose me but just to see her out partying one weekend and then out with someone at 5 am the next just makes me wonder if I should be surprised. I love her to death but the only way I'm getting by is telling myself that if it was meant to be, she will come around because we both are only 23. But I'm not going to sit and wait for her to do you know what with whoever only to realize she had a good guy that she did wrong and try to come back. So my question is...did she already have intentions on being with another guy before she broke up with me or is she rebounding including rebound you know what to try to get over me?

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SweetGirl28 Grand Master

SweetGirl28

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And yeah my best friend told me she's just a broken woman & she won't change.

 

It's pretty clear that with her being so young and having three kids already, she is acting out.

Probably feels a bit of her life was given up too early, and this will be her pattern.

Do right by your son, and let her be someone else's headache.

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