HOw Do you Help a friend after a break up?

[Fragilesmile07]

Hi, Im 16 years old, I've been inlove, or at least thought i was, Its dont and over now and im ok with it all. Now my best friend, and the person who keeps me alive, is going through a break up, loss, or whatever she calls it. Her Boyfriend of 2 years has broken up with her for the third time maybe the forth, they were engaged twice and were BESTFRIENDS. He is her only one (so she thinks) But who am i to say hes not? I dont know him and I only hear about what he's like. My friend is 18 and hes 24, Now age doesnt matter (at least i dont think so) but they have had lots of fights, and My friend wants to marry him and loves him still, and he has gone away, moved on and is still a lil rude to her. She has started t drink, started to cut herself, started to burn herself and started to smoke cigarettes. She is'nt taking this break up lightly and i dont blame her this is the love of her life. But shes cutting EVERYWHERE on her body, drinking, and smoking, I want to help her in anyway possible, and i dont know how to, If anyone knows please let me know. I want to help more then anything in this world, im willing to put my life aside for awhile and HELP HER! so please anyone who knows of any way to help let me know

 

Thank you.

[Celadon]

Fragilesmile07, this sounds like a situation that needs help from you AND her friends and family. Tell her how concerned you are about her, and that this cutting, drinking and smoking are all self-destructive. Ask her how she feels about what she's doing. Sometimes we don't see things about ourselves that other people can see clearly.

 

Help her to see that you want the BEST for her. You wish good things for her, like her being happy and carefree and open to the good things life has in store for her.

 

Tell her that you are so concerned about her, you'd like her to see a counselor. There should be people in the area, maybe at a nonprofit organization in your city that serves teens. You can search on the Web for one.

 

You might need to bring in some other friends, so they can back you up on this. Try not to go behind her back, but hopefully, if she knows how worried you are about her, then she'll be okay with having people as a support group to get her to do positive things and move on.

 

I've been through some horrible breakups, and yeah, they can really be rough. Friends help sooo much, just letting you talk and stuff. Eventually, she'll have to go through all the stages (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance). But once she does, she'll see that there are many guys out there. I am certain she has a good future ahead of her. She just needs your help in seeing that. She's really fortunate to have you as a friend.

[Royaloid]

Hi Fragile, other then what you've already been doing I'm not sure what else you can do to help. Shes glad to have you as a friend. It seems like she knows that your there for her if she needs you. Like you said this break up is going to be hard on her, she needs this time to heal and work on getting her thoughts and feelings organized and together. You want to put your life on hold for her, and thats admirable but I really dont think thats what she needs right now. Just be a friend for her let her know that your around whenever, but dont neglect yourself either.

 

The self injury is a serious issue though. So far shes not handling this well, but with your support you might be able to convince her to stop and get professional help for it. Continue to do what you've been doing and constantly let her know that your there for her and care about her a great deal. Hope this helps, and I hope your friends realizes that she can get over this.

 

Best of luck to you, keep us updated.