What should I do, advice needed

[confused14]

Ok, I need some advice. Apologies in advance for the long post. So a couple of months back I started chatting to this guy I met on line. A bit of background to this story before I continue...

 

I'm separated from my husband and have been for a few months now, and he's separated from his ex partner for 9 months, however they are still living together for the time being, as they needed to sell their house etc. Which has just happened and last week they exchanged contracts, so there is only 30days till they both have to move and they will be finally living seperate lives.

 

Anyways when we started chatting, we both said we weren't ready for anything serious, and will just take it as it comes. Due to his situation we decided to wait before starting anything or even meeting till he had moved out. During these last couple months of constant texting and phone calls etc we have learnt that we have very similar ideas and beliefs about what we want and don't want in life and from a partner and seem to have a connection that i've never experienced with anyone else, and he's said the same thing. We've talked a lot about the future together if things work out between us etc. So we have got a little more serious and carried away that we both initially bargained for. How similar we are and and how much we have in common actually scares the crap out of me.

 

We have both been badly treated by our ex's and we both have confidence issues, and neither of us want to be hurt again. SO, here comes the part I need advice on... We decided to meet on Saturday night. He came over, we had a couple of drinks and chatted and both of us had a really good time. I know that there is chemistry and a connection with him from my end, and I'm pretty sure there is from his end as well. As right after he left, he said he wanted to kiss me but didn't in case i didn't want him to Which kinda led to a bit of sexting etc that night (and nothing physical to date has happened). He also said he feels a connection with me too.

 

Anyways after Saturday night, he's all of a sudden having a freak out about starting any thing. He knows 100% that he doesn't want to be with his ex, however exchanging contracts and an end to everything being a reality has really hurt him, and he's now not sure if or what he's ready for and feels lost at the moment. He keeps apologising to me for being messed up and not being able to give me a clear indication of what he wants. So now I'm at a loss as to what to do. I have told him that no matter what I'm there for him if he needs someone to talk to etc and that we don't need to jump into a relationship or anything as I'm not ready for anything serious. What should I do now? Should I cut my losses and move on, or do I wait and give it time? I guess another part of me feels like maybe he really isn't that into me after meeting (self confidence issues raring in full force messing with my mind), yet he wants to kiss me among other stuff lol and still wants to be a part of my life and be able to talk etc even if it's only via text. So may it's not a lack of attraction either that or he doesn't want to hurt me or something?

[SweetGirl28]

It honestly sounds as if, after meeting, he didn't feel the same as he did when just texting/calling you.

This happens sometimes, but not because there's anything wrong with you.

It's a good idea to never wait so long to meet anyone.

 

The other issue is, if you decide to continue this, he is emotionally unavailable.

This is going to most likely cause you future heartache.

 

I'd honestly just keep him as a platonic friend if you enjoy talking, but wouldn't pursue this further.