help me please!

[kirstyski25]

Please help me. I met my ex today and it was great - we were laughing away and having a good time, then the bombshell hit saying he is not sure whether or not he wants to be friends - i am sitting here in tears as i still love him and it hurts. I amnot sure what to do now we split up three weeks ago and I am still in such pain. I have a guy friend that will offer me the world onm a plate too but I am still so messed up about this and I dont know what to do. Please help - why is this happening to me???? UPDATE:

My ex text me and said that he wants to come over and see me next week as apparently he thinks i still have stuff of his here - i dont, I text him and said that he must have got it with the rest of his stuff as i do not have it here, but he said that he wants to come over anyway to see me and to sort out this situation again. i find that if I text him honey and baby, and that I will be here for you to talk too he repsonds if i dont he does not wnt to know! !I do not understand this. Why one minute decide not to be friends and then the next he wants to see me??? Please help as i do not understand this. pleaes help me - not sure what to do

[liasonred]

kirstyski,

 

 

Being friends with someone you really want to be with will hold you back from getting over this guy. What would happen if you were friends and another girl comes on the scene? All the heart ache would start again.

 

It's hard but me and my girl split up 3 weeks ago and she too wanted to stay friends but i had to say no for my sanity. I've bumped into her a few times by accident and it hurts so the friends thing would be agony.

 

What do you hope to get for yourself by being friends?

What bought the break up about?

How long were you guys together?

[twelve]

hiya

 

i would say ok id love to talk but right now i need some time (even if you are dying to see him) and initiate NC for a while until you are feeling stronger.

He sounds confused too - doesn't seem like he knows what he wants.

Maybe he is playing games with you, Im not sure but be wary of it, he may have said he doesn't want to be friends to mess with you.

why would he suddenly want to see you if he really didn't?

Maybe he also is worried he cant be friends because it hurts.

Why did you break up?

[twelve]

no contact is a good idea as it seems he is confused and this will give him time to miss you and sort out what he wants, which is much better in the long run for you.

[kirstyski25]

We were together for over a year, and then suddenly one day boom. He ended it, yes we were arguing a lot and he couldnot cope with it. But also when we were togther he said that in twenty years time - we would still be together. So right now i am confused. What does he want and why des he want to see me agiain?

[twelve]

what does he want and why does he want to see you again? read my post above.

sounds like he ended it because you were fighting a lot, maybe you needed space - some time apart - learn to resolve the problems that every couple has..

[kirstyski25]

Yes, iwill do. See when i saw him on thurs we were laughing and joking like old times, but i am so worried that within theis time he will only focu on the bad times. We do text each other and he normally responds straight away to me, I know that he cares but is it tool ate? I am 26 he is 22. Also we only have two months of uni to go, and this happened at such a bad time. Is he only coming to check that i dont have anymore of his stuff or is it to see me? See i am so confused too. i sent him a message last night saying that I was really sorry for everything and i was a b***h to him and that i am here whenever he needs me to talk, maybe I shoul not have, but he replied syaing thank you, he will see me soon and have a great weekend away or whatever. Sorry to go on about it but i just wish I knew what he was thinking.

[twelve]

within theis time he will only focu on the bad time

 

the opposite.

the opposite happens.

you forget the bad and dwell on the good.

its human nature.

[kirstyski25]

i hope so as we had so many good times together - went on holiday twice, etc.. had so much fun. i have stopped drinking, which is where i feel i went wrong, and i need to show him. i do love him so much and i wish him back into my life badly. I have been his longest relationship ever - lasting over year whereas the ones he had before lasted about three weeks. I still cant believe that this has happened and i would love to know what he is thinking right now. Is there really any chance or am i getting my hopes up if I dont call or text him for a while? Also if he texts me or calls me i am worried that he will think it is rude if i dont answer him back??

[bobster]

Hi kirstyski25,

 

I really sympathise with you on this topic. This guy has seen some reason(s) in wanting to end this relationship with you.

 

I certainly would NOT play in to his hands by responding to texts etc, and I wouldn't be bothered about being made to feel rude if you don't reply to him.....why should you? Let him chase you for contact.

 

I'm sorry but I wouldn't get my hopes up about the relationship getting back on track. Fights and arguments on a regular basiis are a bad thing.....imagine being with someone for years arguing all the time.....it gets worse the longer you go out, believe me! You get complacent with each other.

 

I hope you make the right decision. This is going to be hard for you I know.

Keep us posted

Bobster.