2 weeks of NC and suffering

[Sophiexx]

It's been two weeks since he broke it off and 2 weeks we haven't contacted each other.

 

A background about our RS, we've been together for almost a year until he called it off suddenly over a huge fight over chat. We didn't even have the chance to talk about the fight but it was just all him getting mad and then suddenly deleting me everywhere in social media. I was devastated and cried til I passed out that day and in the next day I woke up feeling like it's a nightmare. I still didn't hear anything from him even it was my birthday the next day we broke up. Being the person who's just puzzled and can't accept the reality, I tried to reach out that night by sending a message to ask to meet up because I wanted to see him face to face and deal with all of this in person. I had this little hope that if we'd meet and talk in person, things won't have to go haywire because usually that's the case whenever we fight before. We mend things up in person. But this time I was wrong, he replied to me with full of anger in chat. He blamed me everything and that this is the price I should pay, that I deserve this and that I caused all of his misery and anxiety. It was like talking to a whole different person, I can't believe it and still can't until now. I pleaded and got rejected so hard and he also didn't want to meet. In the end of the chat, I still told him I will work for it even being rejected so hard. I had no pride or respect left with myself, it was the dumbest and weakest thing I ever did.

 

After an hour or so, he broadcasted our break up by posting a torn photo of us (without me in the picture) in his social media account. All of his friends liked it and commented that broke me entirely after reaching out to him. The pain was so unbearable that I just had to block him off so I'll never see any of his updates even if he deleted me already.

 

Now, here I am, still broken like ever after 2 weeks of not hearing anything from him. Few days after he posted the photo, he blocked me as well. So there's really no contact between us ever. Once, I've heard from him after the first week of NC when he asked a mutual friend to share a music video of a band concert we planned to go to next month before but he also told our friend that he still didn't wanna talk to me but he just wanted to send it. I didn't respond to it. But deep down inside I wanted to question all his actions.

 

I'm in my 2nd week of NC and I feel so broken and I hate how my mind is not getting some peace even despite of trying to keep myself occupied. I haven't heard from him but I'm pretty sure he's doing well. I don't know what went wrong, few days before we broke up we were still together and being sweet to one another. He just left without a word and humiliated me to all of his peers when I know that I didn't do anything massive to deserve all this.

 

I feel so betrayed and left out. I've lost direction in my life because I've included him with my future plans together. He left me, humiliated me to his friends and family, blamed me everything alone, and went on with his life with not feeling any guilt or remorse. It's like a totally different person who I fell in love with in the beginning.

 

I've been trying to stay still these 2 weeks. I've been trying to keep NC going but I feel like I'm not at peace. I feel like there's really no choice for me but to go NC since he deleted and blocked me everywhere and the last time i tried to reach out, I was rejected like a trash. But this is just all so painful to handle.

[cristal]

The first two weeks of a breakup is absolute hell. Just went through that and it is a shock to your system. You ruminate endlessly over the cause of the breakup. You are consumed with panic that you will not spend another day in your lover's arms again. You are scared because you do not know if you can survive it.

 

But...after a month of NC, you find yourself calming down and you begin to gain clarity. Sloowwly, you start to accept that there is life after the breakup and that you will survive. Acceptance begins to set in and thoughts of your ex becomes less frightening. You start to enjoy things again and you start to look forward to a life without you ex.

 

Just hang in there and let time do it's thing. You will eventually look back at this as just a bump in the road and a learning experience. It really does get better.

[Sophiexx]

Thank you cristal for your message. It really is an absolute hell left with so many questions in my head. I'm really hoping that it gets better someday because waking up every morning is really the worst feeling. I just can't understand or comprehend yet why the break up was so sudden. Why was it so bad, why did it go by quickly, and there are so many questions left unanswered as he chose not to answer them and just escape until the very end leaving me with full of questions.