I need some advice....

[Sapphire695]

I am a 37yr. old female who likes a 47yr lesbian female, who works on the same floor in my office bldg, but for a different company. I am most sure she is lesbian (she's not a total butch, but is masculine and just has that very preppy/masculine lesbian look about her). She always looks me up-and-down and usually when she knows I can see her doing it, and when she's right in front of me and talking to me or standing near me in the bathroom. I even noticed one day when she was walking to her car at the same time I was walking to mine (she was leaving, I was only getting something from my car) which was a few rows past hers, she was still sitting in her car as I was on my way back into the bldg just watching me walk by and then didn't pull away until after I was already past her car. (that could be coincidence, but from the way she eyes me, it might not be either!)

 

I try to give her glances too, but I don't eye her up-and-down. I just try to let her see that I'm looking back at her and I always try to strike up a conversation, or if it's just in passing, I make sure I say Hi.

 

Even though we don't work for the same company, we are still on the same floor, so it's still in the workplace and I don't want to set myself up for any embarrassment. So if this would develope to a relationship, I would not want it to be exposed in work.

 

Anyway, since I do like her, does anyone know how I can step up the flirting and keep it from being obvious to co-workers? (I don't see her everyday, and when I do see her it's usually without warning)

 

Sorry, this is so long!! This probably sounds immature for my age, but I've never been with another woman, so this is all new to me and is obviously a much more delicate situation than liking a guy.

[kaboom]

From experience, if you two start going out, it will come out sooner or later. People will notice, specially if she's not too glad about keeping it secret.

I dont think keeping it a secret is healthy either. People are pretty open about it nowadays, but i guess that depends on where you are. If you see yourself risking your job, and you only LIKE (as opposed to being obsessed) her, i suggest u dont do it.

HOWEVER, if your job is safe because your company is cool with it, then go for it!

Someone told me that i should come out to everyone because those who care dont matter and those who matter dont care.

[kere]

I think she is a lesbian....or at least bi-curious, no straight female looks another female up and down...I never look twice at a man!!!!!!

 

My only concern is the fact that u both work at the same place and the situation is componded by the fact that it is a same sex relationship....anyway, I am sure u have thought about that.

 

Who do u have lunch with???? if it is a bunch of girls, then u can invite her her to sit with you one day....get to know her and develop a friendship. If she is infact interested then I think once u both establish some form of friendship she will instigate something more.

 

What about a friday night hang out spot???? Me and my co-workers hang out every friday at a club and i know most ppl do so if u strategicly leave your office the same time she is walking pass yu can mention it...she may say yes!!!!!

 

kere

[Sapphire695]

Thanks for your advice. But, I have been noticing very strange behavior with this woman.....

 

I and several other people have noticed that when she's in an elevator instead of just facing forward like most poeple do, she will turn around and pick someone and just stare at them strating in the face and them fixing her eyes on their waist area. She even does this in the bathroom and it's usually women in their 30's with attractive bodies for the most part. Is this lebian behavior, or something beyond that like psycotic/crazy behavior?

[Cadence308]

Sounds like she's scoping out her prey! Straight women do not give other women a second glance unless they are jealous of them. This is not normal behavior and it sounds like she is checking women out and it sounds like she prefers women in their 30s since you said those are typically the ones she's looking at in the bathroom. She sounds like a "butt woman."

 

Have you tried to have a conversation with her? Do you know what her hobbies are? Do the two of you have anything in common? The best way to ask her out to get to know her and her sexual preferences is invite her for a cup of coffee and use that as an opportunity to befriend her.