Confusion

[Mk86]

I have been in my current relationship for over 2 years now and just recently gave birth to my son. Prior to this I had been in a relationship for about the same amount of time with a man who I had a daughter with who I had loved very much but who was also very toxic to me. After we split up I have had depression even to this day and have had little to no sex drive with my current boyfriend for almost the whole duration of the time I have been with him which is highly unusual for me and which bothers me tremendously. After having been completely heartbroken and devastated I met my current boyfriend who helped me out of a very dark place. I love this person and everything has always been well for the most part but I have felt troubled for some time now. My ex had a lot of issues as he was a veteran and had been diagnosed with ptsd along with other issues and he went away for some time to get counceling and ect. As of about a year ago he came back after having had treatment and started seeing our daughter again as he had not been a part of her life for awhile. He text me one night and asked if I ever missed him and I did not reply. Every since his return I have found myself overly emotional when I had to be around him for the dropping off and picking up of our daughter. As it has become easier overtime, I now find myself thinking about him ever since hes come back, I dream about him way more frequently than I would like, sometimes even 3 times a week. I have always been a faithful person and will always be faithful to my boyfriend but the dreaming and the thoughts about my daughters dad bothers me so much and I just wish it would go away. I truly believe it has made me more distant from my boyfriend and has become very problematic as far as feeling close to him. I dont understand how I can think about someone still even after all the time has passed who was so toxic to me. It makes me aware that I clearly never got over this person and how it still hurts me. I dont believe that this is fair to the person I am with, im afraid to talk to them about it or maybe I should see a councelor? I just want the thought of him to disappear forever so that so I can be the happiest that I can be with the person I am with.

[melancholy123]

Counselling is a good idea, talking to a professional can be very beneficial to you. Please get some help.