When you're replaced, is all hope lost?

[mick8888]

Let's say you get dumped, you initiate the no-contact rule, and then let's say after a few months of that you come to find out that the girl that dumped you is with someone new and is head over heels for that person. Is that pretty much the end of hope that you'll ever get back together? It seems like once they dump you they mostly disconnect from you, but there might be *SOME* shred of missing you or wondering if they made the right choice, but then once they find someone new, then the person they dumped is way in the rear-view mirror and it's done forever. Is that pretty much how it works? Anyone have any experiences to the contrary?

[djedix]

My input

 

It's all a matter of how much you cared about that person. I think it's harder if you really love someone to see the do this. We can't think like them, and since they dumped you, they arent having any of the same feelings of rejection or anything we have to deal with. Sure they still feel sad, but they probally arent questioning what they did wrong, and what they caused, to us, the dumpee, and the thoughts that now fill our brains. They are able to move on because that's what they wanted to do, that's why they dumped. Is there hope for them to c ome back? only if they go out and see, and learn that you were what they truly wanted, but then you have to make the decsion to let this person who put you in a state of crappyness, back into your life. I've broken up, and gotten back togeather, and it usally ends up in another break up.

 

As a dumpee, i'm ready to move on here, and i want someone new, and better. I don't care if my ex comes back. She had her chance at me, she had the ring on her finger, and she threw it all away. That was her only chance. She ran from me, and destroyed my dreams, and left me here asking why?... She's not worthy of another chance. I'd rather give it to someone who won't run. And that someone will come, in Time

[mike-e-mike]

Sorry mate no good stories here.

 

I reckon, when that sort of thing happens, that it's a self destructive idea to let the other person stick with their new flavour of the month until it doesn't work/they decide it isn't as good as they imagined (which is ALL it ever amounts to when they go back), and they fall on you because you waited faithfully like a puppy while they did whatever they wanted.

 

No one is worth that sort of obedience.

[mick8888]

i'd been with this girl since the beginning of 2000, broke up in 2003 but then hooked up on and off for most of 2004 ... so we had a pretty long relationship, and we had a really really tight bond for a while there, she still says i'm practically the best person she knows and that i've always been there for her, but when i saw her the other day (for the first time in 5 months) there was a little bit of that awkwardness there, and i could really sense that she looked at me as strictly a friend and not any kind of a love interest, and that was like a dagger in my heart. i was thinking that that's just because she has a new guy she is into, but if he screws her over or she wakes up and realizes what we had, maybe she'll come back. i'm not sure whether or not i'll want her back if that happens, but right now it hurts as hell that she's with someone else and that she's rejected me.

[RayKay]

I think its best to think of it as over and start moving on, but don't think of it as having being replaced, just they have moved on as well. It is bound to happen that if they move on that they will find someone else, but the same goes for you....it hurts, but its part of healing and moving on with your life.

 

I have exs that have broken up with me, or I them and I still think about them sometimes as they were part of my life and left their imprint on it...but I would not change where I have arrived to for that past ever. For me in retrospect what I learned since then, how I have grown and what I discovered are irreplaceable and I can't go back to the person I was then to be with that person again - and for me I have found that "one" who is totally right and I could not go back anyway. The person she is with now might be better suited for her, or more right - it does not mean you are rejected, just that there is someone more right out there for you who will be absolutely sure they want to be with you. You will heal, but you need to make the choice to move forward first

[sweet_n_sexy]

IM REALLY NOT SURE BUT I SAY U SHOULFD MOVE ON THERE HAS GOT TO BE WAY MORE BETTER GIRLS IN THIS LIFLESS WORLD

[hockeyboy]

i would say that in situations like these, the only likely way possible the two will get back together is if they have both moved on from the relationship and some time has passed and they cross paths in the future. they still have their good memories but they are now different people and thereforeeee can start a new relationship. not likely but could happen. you cant make that happen, if it does, it does. i sometimes wonder if it will happen with my first true love, but i never worry about it...because its out of my hands. i wonder when ill run into her again, its been over a year...but someday when i least expect it, it will happen...and from there, either nothing or something will happen...beat me, so why torture myself bout it

[DN]

Best thing is to assume it is over for good and find someone who loves you. Keeping on to a faint hope will stop you doing that.