is it time to get out?

[lilrose]

Hi there i need advice, i am 23 and have been with this guy since i was 16.

We have a child together i got pregnant when i was 16. I cannot find the strength to leave him. He lies to me and i catch him all the time in his lies. For example i gave him 140$ for a bill and he told me it cost 120$ when i asked for the receipt he was mad but showed me it was only for 100$ he was going to steal 20 of my dollars. he is very rarely home and spends alot of our money on drugs alchohol gambling. I know i need to leave it seems like lately i have been catching him in more and more lies his mom even spilled the beans last night and told me he borrowed money from her and told her not to tell me. He kept her and i both up until 330 am cause he went to play poker and she didn't have a drive home this was after she was nice enough to come babysit. if i get mad and yell or try to stick to my guns he gets physical and he made me miss work today. my shoulders are sore from him manhandling me. most of the time i just give in cause i dont want to fight in front of my son and ill do anything to prevent that. im worn out i barely have strength to or will to smile let alone get courage to leave i need any advice you can give. thanks

[melrich]

From your brief summary I think it is time to get out. Your partner sounds like he has a compulsive personality and he is unlikely to change his ways for any length of time without professional intervention.

 

How old is your child? Do you have family that you could go to?

 

I don't think he will let you go easily so maybe you should put some time into planning how you are going to leave him, where will you go? who will support you?

 

Do you have someone you can trust that you can talk to about this and maybe help you?

[cleverme123]

You need to get out now, I know lots of resources for this, if you want to go PM me. You can lose your child by staying with this guy!

[justsweetgirl]

You have to leave. His behavior is unacceptable. He is a compulsive liar and abuser, among other things, and you and your son are not safe. Raising your son in this climate will only teach him that it is okay to abuse women. Please break the cycle. There are hotlines and shelters available, if you have no friends or family to turn to. Also, it is not always safe to turn to friends and family, as he will surely know to look for you there. You and your son deserve a better life. I will say a prayer for you.

[Krystyl]

If you gave him money to pay a bill.....then it sounds like you are the one supporting the family. You, DO NOT GO ANYWHERE. Make him leave. Kick him out. Throw all of his clothes out in garbage bags and change the the locks. If he has so much time to go party and do drugs then it would seem he isn't working? Don't support him and his habit one second longer. Once he is on the street he is either going to sink or swim. And it won't be your problem anymore. You and especially your child deserve better.