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Girlfriend wants to get her drive back


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Hey everyone. It's my first time posting on one of these forums, I hope I can get some input. So I've been dating this girl for almost two years. We're crazy abiut each other as we always have been. We barely argue, I'm not overly possessive and I don't tell her she can and can't do things. I always tell her to better herself and keep pushing her. But I have noticed in the past few months that things have been different. The passion, love and excitement on her part have start to died down. Intimacy has gone down. Communication has gone down but I can still feel the love is there. I feel that she is just confused with where she's at right now. She's still in school when I'm already finished school and working full time. (I am 26 and she is 22, turning 23 this year). We live approx 20 minutes from each other. And see each other probably once/twice a week.


So recently she said to me she wants to break up because she needs to refocus on herself. She has been relying on me way too much for everything. She has lost her drive in school. She's becoming more insecure and looking to me for her own happiness. She tells me she has lost her focus and doesn't remember what it feels like to have that drive back like she once had before. She tells me she loves me and that wants me in her life. She said she's sorry for doing this to me but it's not fair to me because she's not treating me the way she wants to. She told me it's unfair to make me wait for her which is true.


She has never hurt me in anyway. Never betrayed my trust. Never disrespected me, my friends or my family. I've met her entire family as well. This is the first real relationship that she has ever had and I can say with confidence that I've been the best for her in every way possible.


I'm just guessing she wants to feel like herself again when we first started dating. She was much more independent. She always set goals and crushed them and got whatever she wanted.


What are your guys take on the situation. If you're unclear about anything then please let me know. I will clarify.



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Its just what you said... She has changed in the relationship because she doesn't feel she is or can be the person who she was or wants to be. Maybe you two don't share in each others activites or she doesn't know what interest her and doesn't feel motivated enough in her current situation to find out.... Whatever the reason for her insecurities, the reason for her considering the break up is just as you guessed.


It could work out still but sounds like you will have to change to adapt to her expectations to some extent if she already wants to change away from the current lifestyle.

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