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Ill try and keep it short and sweet... Which probably wont happen.


My internal issue:

I have crippling ADD, which makes me an internal person, which means that I over analyze and accept negative feedback. For instance, I am still affected by small things people have mentioned about me negatively in the past: my sisters childhood friend called me ugly (jokingly) in 5th grade, that has stuck with me until today at 21 years old. I've always had the self perception of being ugly because of that one incident. On the other side, words of affirmation really affect me the same way. If someone tells me I'm good at something, I'll think that I am good at it for a long time.



What happened:

I dated a girl for a year, she cheated on me for like half of our relationship but always kept it a secret. after a year of dating she told me she had been flirting with some guy, I forgave her and we continued to date for a couple weeks until she said confessed that she lied. She did this several times: confess her lie, reveal more of the truth, I forgave, confess her lie, reveal a little bit more...; until the ultimate truth came out, that she had been banging the other guy for a while. He was her ex they never stopped communicating, he didn't want to date her, but she really liked him, bc he manipulated her, so she cheated on me.



We broke up, its been almost a year since then. Like I said before, negative things scar me deeper. So this is made me have crippling social anxiety, mistrust in women, and more than all.. a crippling lack of confidence. This has made it so hard to get my life back on track. Im depressed all the time, I dont know how to talk to women, bc I'm always skeptical that they will cheat on me. I've gotten to really low lows where I even contemplated taking my own life.


My question:

How do I bounce back? I think I understand my problem, and I know that "not every woman is sht", but what physical and mental exercises can I do by myself to regain confidence and trust in women? I need some kind of proactive method to bounce back. I'm already working out and being active, I have friends and go out on the weekends, but when it still comes to talking to women or speaking my mind, I put up a guard because I'm afraid of being hurt. I would like to try and build confidence and trust on my own before i seek out professional counselling.

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