Always about Playboy girls!?

[Damselle]

I am 18 yrs old dating a soon to be 26 yr old. I thought that his being older would help me have a more serious relationship but now I am not so sure.

 

I was at his house a few days ago while he was taking a shower. That's when I noticed he had forgotten his e-mail and messenger open for all to see. Well, what i found there wasn't pretty. . . .

 

1. a file linking to Many dirty Pornography pictures whom where almost all from the same Pornstar!

 

2. E-mails from pornstars containing more dirty pictures.

 

3. and last but definitely not least, he added a handful of girls on his messenger. Nomally I really would not care about this last one but they are all MY age 18 , 19. Where is he getting all these girls e-mails?

 

I am still a student, in college, to be exact and my bf hates it if I add a guy from my classes on messenger. So to make him happy I didn't. but why then is he adding girls of all kinds when he doesn't me want me to do the same?! Wouldn't this be an example of an unfair "I do but u can't" relationship.

 

and as for the porn we've done everything he's looking at sometime or other so why does he have these. He could just look at the tapes we have of each other.. . . . Now I feel like I don't give him what he needs and yet that couldn't be further from the truth.

 

I get more confused because he tells me he loves me and has talked about maybe getting married with me someday but then why all this stuff. . .

 

I might be 18 but he is after all my first boyfriend and I don't know if I am over reacting or if this really is not normal.

[Amannamederic]

i have a probably helpful probably a bit shocking answer for you

 

the shocking part is that yes...guys look at porn, it doesnt matter who we look at though so dont think hes falling in love with someone who does freaky stuff for money that couldnt be farther from the truth.

 

Honestly, guys would never ACTUALLY get with a porn star (at least i wouldnt) purely for the reason that shes had EVERY guy pretty much lol, outside of disease, these guys are all tan muscular etc etc etc blah blah blah and i for one am not tan haha.

 

However your man is taking it a bit too far with the adding of names. They could all be friends but probably not, i would mention it to him and see how well he knows some of these women. Secondly, who cares who you talk to in your own time, he shouldn't run your life or else your pretty much headed for a miserable marriage so go ahead and talk to other boys as long as your confident enough in your relationship to know that you'll stay faithful.

 

Porn sucks, simply put it ruins alot of would-be marriages, it has for friends of mine in college...it has for adults i knew...so make sure you talk to him, the best thing you can probably do is just understand why he looks at it and what he gets out of it (if he tells you then youve got yourself a winner)

 

Good luck i hope this eases your mind a little bit

 

-Eric

[justsweetgirl]

You two need to have a talk. If he can have girls on messenger, you can add boys. Either he trusts you or he doesn't. Him looking at porn has NOTHING to do with you lacking in any way. Lots of men and women look at porn, it's a fact of life...and a multibillion dollar a year industry. Apologize for reading his emails - and don't do it again - and tell him you know about the porn. If you two want to marry, there shouldn't be secrets. How well you deal with this issue may predict how well you are prepared for future situations within the relationship. Marriage takes work.

[Steffie]

for me it's hard to believe there is nothing lacking with her in this situation.

oké, she can feel that way although there's nothing lacking in their relationship.

but for him, maybe, it is s.th. extra, maybe he needs more than only his gf.

and maybe there's a difference for him in adding people, maybe he's 'afraid' of the way she 'treats' the boys she adds, maybe he sees that as a threat for their relation,

and does he thinks that his 'girls' has nothing to do with their relation, that they can't dammage their relation because it is without feelings.

 

my english is not so well so i hope you understand my story, if not, ask me and i'll explain again.

 

Steffie

[Damselle]

Well I asked him about the pictures and he told me they are for his best friend who doesn`t have internet.

 

Sounds fishy to me. Any more input woukld be âprciated

[Vanilla]

honey, good lord, this drives me insane..

 

if you ahve a problem with porn it needs to stop and he better stop it now. ALL men do not look at porn, I have so many male friends who dont like it, and feel strong about it and believe me I have checked their rooms and comps and these are guys i have known all my life.

 

if you were into it, hey thats your thing you guys have fun. but reality is its not ok and you shouldnt have to change who you are or what you think is wrong because someone else thinks its ok.

 

A man who cant stop looking at porn for his woman has a sickness and is obviously addicted. If you can't stop looking at porn thats so insignificant for the human being next to you who LOVES you then you are a sad sad man.

 

Dont believe all men do it, I promise you a lot of them dont, and a lot of the ones who do or did will stop if their partners ask them to. Men who justify that they shoul dnot stop have issues, and theyre pathetic.

 

Know what you're worth, dont take anything that hurts you and DONT EVER CHANGE your beliefs or values for anyone or anything.