Starting a conversation on a bus...

[shukarus]

Long story short...there's this girl that I see on the bus when i take the bus home form school....she doesn't go to my school. Sometimes she's with her friend, sometimes without, but the point is, I have no clue of who she is but feel somewhat attracted to her...I was wondering of what an appropriate way of starting a conversation with her would be, one where she wouldn't get freaked out...it's probably best to first start talking to her on a day when her friend isn't on the bus with her, right? Thank you in advance for any help.

 

shukarus

[Iceman26]

Ask her if you can sit with her on the bus, and start a conversation.

[Beec]

You do not have to do everything all at once on the same day. You can just take one step on one day, then another th next and so forth, until you are in a conversation. She's on the bus regularly, why be in a rush. Baby steps can get you there too.

 

You might be much better off starting out with sitting near and saying hello, good morning or afternoon. Do it and see how she responds. If she responds in kind, ask her how she is or how her day was. Or better yet, do it a few days, then stop, then go back and do it again a few days later. If you do that, watch and she if when you stop, she is looking for you to say it. That's a good sign, but not terrible if she does not.

 

After a day or two break, from hellos or good whatever, sit near her and ask how she is or how her day was, and follow the same pattern, on for a couple days, then retreat a but then forward again.

 

Try to learn something about her. Learn aboutt hings she likes or likes to do. If she reads, watch what she reads. Then learn a bit about them. And then ask her about the things she likes.

[shukarus]

Thanks for all the help guys, I really appreciate the quick replies. However, I was wondering if just plainly saying hi without giving her something to keep the conversation going with me wouldn't be weird...because I seem to think that she might just freak out or think that I'm some weirdo as a plain "hi" or even "how how are you" coming from complete stranger might seem odd... thanks forr any input in advance...shukarus

[Beec]

Well, that is kind of why I say don't try to go for the full conversation on the first approach.

 

It is quite normal for a woman to think, when she is approached by a man, that all he has on his mind is an image of her naked and having sex with him. No matter what you do, that first move to initiate a conversation by you may raise these thoughts in her head. So how do you diffuse these thoughts and make yourself less of a threat?

 

Well, if you find The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene, you could read the portion about how to seduce some one. The how to section begins with picking the right "victim" (his word, not mine). Then the next chapter is to make an indirect approach. And that is what you need to try to do to make so you are not a threat or weird.

 

In some circumstances, you just cannot avoid a bit of an approach. You cannot talk with her without getting near her and opening your mouth right? So, here is what I use for an analogy. If you were back in the Dark Ages, working on guarding a castle. And a strange peasant came up near the castle, you would watch him carefully. Your bow would be ready, and arrow would be in your hand, and you would watch him like a hawk. If he did it the next day, you would watch him still. If he did it everyday for a month, then you would stop watching him as intently. If at sometime he began to wave at you and say good morning, you woudl soon begin to wave back and say it too. Then, after a while. you would look for him and expect him to say good morning. Soon you would not see him as a threat at all.

 

So, you sit next to or near her. Look at her, smile and say "Hi". Then you do it for the next two days, adding "how are you" on the third. Soon, she looks for you to sit near her and say hello. She will like that you are friendly and decided to do it to her. If you stop and then sit further from her and ignore her, she will look for you, she will want you to come and do it, because she will like it. After a short while, the threat imposed by you saying hello is gone.

 

One other thing I would think about. You may want to begin with one of your conversational moves by talking to her friend, not her. This would make the approach more indirect. A use of something like this would be what you should do when out with more than one guy. People say never leave your wingman, but that's crap. One guy should sacricfice himself. If you see two girls and your friend wants one of them. You should go right up and begin to talk to the other. Soon, your friend gets dragged into a conversation with the girl he wants, and he has made an indirect approach on her. The guy who makes the direct approach may have sacrificed himself for the night, so it is the other guys turn the next night out.

 

So, a simple hello and nothing more is fine, but have soemthing else to pay attention to after you say hello. Read.

[Tie00]

Ask her what classes she takes or how she likes school. Ask her what kindof bands she likes. You could even compliment her.

[here2understand2]

so u climb in and see her sittin alone..u walk up, smile nd ask if tht seat is taken..nd then initiate conversation by introducin urself "hi, i dont think we;ve met but i see you quite often, I am ....."....also..have a prop in ur hand, like a magazine or a movie DVD/VCD..something tht u can talk about..notice what she carries in the bus, try to get more info about her from what she carries/how she dresses...and if nothing works. compliment her! it always works! did for me! good luck!