Meribeleina Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 My first post here and I`m not even sure on what category I should write, as my life has been like a soap opera. My story: I left my home country a lot in that reason that my marriage didnt work out. I committed myself with him when I was 17, married 22 (he was 4 years older) but we grew apart. So no I have been in another part of the world already 8 month, living my life as student and doing some babysitting to earn living. On my 3rd month here I met one guy online, who is 22`yo. He is handsome, intelligent, ambitious and taking good care of himself. I like him a lot and I am in love. I really think that he could be The One, but but but.... He is very busy, always working or traveling around so first month we got together maybe once or twice in one month. Now we have got together almost every weekend for some hours. My concerns are that he is very laid back and even though he tells me that he loves me, I`m scared that he will not want to commit me more seriously (maybe because of my past - about to divorce, 2 years older) (and considering that I havent met any of his friends or family since we started dating (one reason can be that he doesnt have friends in this area - new here and no family either, but family has visited him a lot since he has living in this area). Other concern is that as he being recently college graduated, he wants to focus on his career and may even move to another state to work. So question for you guys - would you consider future with divorced and couple years older woman than you and what would be your concerns in this relationship if you`d be on his place? Thanks! Link to comment
Diablo7000 Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 i really think you should give him a chance he probably does love you even though he's laid back but if he's busy how do u know he's not cheating on you when he's away or somthing but just stay with him for now to see then if he continues then you can have the option to stay with him again or leave him for someone else thats the best advice i can give you now sorry. Link to comment
DN Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 Just relax, enjoy the relationship and see where it takes you. I think from the timings you gave you have only been dating 5 months - not a huge amount of time. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 I agree with DN, I'm not sure where you are from, but in the States divorce is not a big deal, in fact, 54% of all marriages end in divorce, yes, more than half. That means alot of divorcees out there in the dating pool! I think you can give it some time and see where it goes, he tells you that he loves you, and if he knows you are getting divorced/are divorced than obviously he isn't bothered by it. Don't pressure him. Like DN said, it's only been 5 months, what's the rush? Take your time and enjoy him! Link to comment
Meribeleina Posted March 31, 2005 Author Share Posted March 31, 2005 Thats true that there`s no rush but just you know, you dont want someone to take you for granted and just to hang out because there`s noone better out there waiting for him. I guess I just dont want to get hurt ( who would?) and as I am afraid that he doesnt take me as seriously as I take him, I dont want to face up him breakin up with me I`m confusing, I know Link to comment
cleverme123 Posted March 31, 2005 Share Posted March 31, 2005 irst off you shouldn't rush things you need to get to know him and make sure there are no skeletons in his closet. Remember people online can be who they want when they want. You don't know any one there either so be very careful that you aren't getting into something you don't want. Don't pressure don;t push just let it ride out and see what happens. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted March 31, 2005 Share Posted March 31, 2005 I met a my bf online and he is one of the greatest people I know. Not everyone online is creepy. We are online.. Why do you think your bf doesn't take you as seriously as you take him? Link to comment
Meribeleina Posted March 31, 2005 Author Share Posted March 31, 2005 Why do you think your bf doesn't take you as seriously as you take him? He is confusing guy. Once we had trust problems and then I asked does he feels something else than friendship to me. I asked - were/are you in love? And he said, yes, I can say that I love you but still I really think that I`m not the boyfriend you want me to be (meaning he is too busy and fullfilled with his work to have a girlfriend). So after that I backed off a bit and didnt say what I feel for him and etc but we still kept dating (I must admit that I have been the one to ask most of the time, when we gonna meet again, not him - but then again if he wouldnt want to see me or wouldnt have deeper feelings to me, he would say no and would break up with me?) Also I asked from him how would he feel if I`d go on a date with another guy - and he said: its ok you to date other guys (?!!) So - guy has said that he loves me but in the same breath he says that its ok to date others? We talk online most of the week, but for me its better to hear his voice, but most of the times I call him, he doesnt pick up and doesnt return call even if he sees missed call. Very nonchalant. So I get stressed up each time I want to call him, for reasons mentioned above. Couple of my friends have told me that I should forget about him and move on, but I care about him too much and the moments we spend together are so valuable for me. I know that that there these "red flags" warning me but I cannot let go. What`s wrong with me, I dont know. I dont know what to do Link to comment
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