Pink_Obsessive Posted March 28, 2005 Share Posted March 28, 2005 Hi there, this is my first post, please be gentle I'm so lonely.... I have a wonderful fiance who I love to bits but I just wish I had some female friends to chat with and do girly things (shopping etc) We live in a very small town and my fiance is a police officer which makes me reluctant to be too social with neighbours (not the nicest place or the nicest people around here) I also have a few problems of my own, OCD, depression and social phobia. I used to find it really easy to chat on the internet (it's where I met my fiance ) but these days I just don't know what to say or what to do... I spend a lot of time home alone while my fiance works long shifts and I'm sick of feeling so alone and isolated... I feel like I'd make someone a great friend, I'm very honest and trustworthy, I love a good laugh and I'm also very generous. I'm dying to be someones best friend.... Hope I don't sound too silly.. Shellie aka Pink_Obsessive Link to comment
winkybear Posted March 28, 2005 Share Posted March 28, 2005 why not trying joining any societies in ur area (joing something that you would be interested in tho) . U will meet lots of ppl that has the same interests as u there. Link to comment
Caldus Posted March 28, 2005 Share Posted March 28, 2005 You do not sound silly at all. I kind of have the same problem. I go to college but still have very few friends. I have met some cool people here but always have trouble connecting with more people. I have lots of acquaintances but maybe two friends you know? I know how it is. You end up not finding much to do every night because ... well ... you have no one to hang out with. Well what kind of hobbies do you have? Maybe you could find an interest club or possibly go back to school if you have a desire to. You have to get yourself out there somehow so that people can find you and you can meet them. I usually stay away from Internet chatrooms now because there are a lot of creepy people hanging out at those places. There are some cool people but a lot of them are not the type of people you want to meet. Believe me, I used to go to chatrooms all throughout high school. I hope this helps a little. I know it's tough. Sometimes just having one or two close friends is better than having a ton of them you know? Eventually you'll find some friends if you place yourself out there somehow. Link to comment
Pink_Obsessive Posted March 28, 2005 Author Share Posted March 28, 2005 Yeah I've thought about joinging the CWA (country womes association) but I'm too shy... plus I can't have anyone over to the house until I get my OCD under control... Link to comment
winkybear Posted March 28, 2005 Share Posted March 28, 2005 go ahead and join it. Its ok if ur shy, many ppl are. Eventually when u join ppl would start to introduce themselves to u, invite u to functions, and they will be known as friends to u Link to comment
Caldus Posted March 28, 2005 Share Posted March 28, 2005 Hey it's OK that you're shy. I am too. I always get real nervous every time I try meeting someone new. But it always ends up going well. Most of the time people respond positively to you. You don't have to have people over at your place. You can just meet them somewhere and hang out. Link to comment
Pink_Obsessive Posted March 28, 2005 Author Share Posted March 28, 2005 I usually stay away from Internet chatrooms now because there are a lot of creepy people hanging out at those places. That's the most annoying thing, when I was single it didn't worry me that guys I catted to tried to hit on me, these days I tell them to back off and that I have a fiance and they say "so?" like flirting with them onlione is okay... and when I say it's not then theres the end of that... Link to comment
whatfor Posted March 28, 2005 Share Posted March 28, 2005 Pink_Obsessive, you are not alone, i feel exactly the same way. Another thing is that my fiance is not even here. Hang in there, maybe you can make some good friends on this forum I also think good friends cant be very many, when i do have a friend, i like sharing everything with them, so it must be someone who is worth it all. Link to comment
arwen Posted March 28, 2005 Share Posted March 28, 2005 Hey girl, I assume you are treated for the OCD? If so, what kind of therapy do you get, and are you on medication? I could imagine that if you have a social anxiety in addition to OCD, it could be considered to take like a form of anti-anxiety medication. I have friends who have social anxieties, and one of them is really doing great at the moment. She has her own place now and joined an athletics club where she made new friends. It took her periods of taking for instance oxazepam to be able to walk outside with a lot of people around her, but she is really well now. Ways of dealing with anxiety include stretching your boundaries. Otherwise you'll be locked inside your fear forever. So if you want to join this society, at least start out by getting the right paperwork for that, and maybe call the administration. Could be that speaking on the phone is easier to start with. It takes strength to face the fear and not flee when the situation you fear comes along. But I think you'll find that things can really get better if you keep taking steps towards the things that you fear, instead of sticking with the feeling and avoid these situations. Take care, Ilse. Link to comment
Pink_Obsessive Posted March 28, 2005 Author Share Posted March 28, 2005 yeah i'm on medication but that's about all... theres no mental health support where I live which is very annoying... I'm working on my 'problems' myself with my fiance's support. I only found out that I had OCD in december last year even though I've had all these problems for at least 10 years... I've never really had much luck with friends, never really had a 'best friend', I've always felt like an outsider in my social circles and now I din't even have a circle. The only person I've ever really been close to is my fiance, never had any other bf's before him either. Link to comment
arwen Posted March 28, 2005 Share Posted March 28, 2005 That must be really hard, without any support from professionals. I don't want to disencourage you or underestimate your personal strength. I really think you'd be better of with at least some form of counselling, even if that would mean going to another town. I mean it's unlikely that you live somewhere where there completely NO healthcare, right? (keep in mind that I am from Holland where there is no free square mile to find. I have never been to Australia.) What kind of medication are you taking? Ilse. Link to comment
Pink_Obsessive Posted March 28, 2005 Author Share Posted March 28, 2005 my nearest town is about a 30min drive away and my doc there can put me on a waiting list for a psych that comes to town every 2 weeks for one day... theres a more major town 2 hours away but I don't drive so that would have to be worked around my fiance's roster which can change at any time... I'm curently taking 20mg of Aropax (aka, paxtine, paxil, paroxetine etc) I need to go back to my doc about this as I think I need an increase but I haven't gotten around to it... Link to comment
arwen Posted March 28, 2005 Share Posted March 28, 2005 Ah, that is a difficult circumstance. I guess there is no train, or taking it is part of your problems? What does your doctor say? I think that it's really necessary to work on these issues in order to be able to relax more (and make friends more easily). Maybe the step for today (is it still Eastern in Australia? Here we have two national Holi-days lol) is to call your doctor and have an appointment for medication check up asap. These medications (antidepressants) should be taken under supervision of a doctor anyway. I hope there will be a solution for you to start working on these issues that really keep you from living freely in the world. I think the friendships will follow from that and could be part of the process. Take care, Ilse. Link to comment
ArcadianX Posted March 28, 2005 Share Posted March 28, 2005 my nearest town is about a 30min drive away and my doc there can put me on a waiting list for a psych that comes to town every 2 weeks for one day... theres a more major town 2 hours away but I don't drive so that would have to be worked around my fiance's roster which can change at any time.... This is only a minor suggestion, I know, but you should really learn to drive. About the only people that successfully get away with not driving are people who live in large cities that are covered in public transportation. Link to comment
Pink_Obsessive Posted March 28, 2005 Author Share Posted March 28, 2005 my nearest town is about a 30min drive away and my doc there can put me on a waiting list for a psych that comes to town every 2 weeks for one day... theres a more major town 2 hours away but I don't drive so that would have to be worked around my fiance's roster which can change at any time.... This is only a minor suggestion, I know, but you should really learn to drive. About the only people that successfully get away with not driving are people who live in large cities that are covered in public transportation. I do know how to drive, I also know how to ride a motorcycle (and own one)... The problem is that I have fears and OCD symptoms associated with driving which makes it very difficult for me. I can't drive unsupervised and I don't ride my motorcycle anymore because of these problems... Link to comment
mar1a_c Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 Hey everybody, I was feeling down and happened to click onto this website and was taken back by the honest and caring responses that were given to people who are feeling well just lonely. I too am feeling down I'm in my final year of Highschool. I'm a normal kid I work and go to school. Everybody reckon's i'm fine but i'm not i'm so lonely- i seriously dnt have a social life and it kills me. My friends are either studying or out with their other friends so i feel so left out. I'm always alone on weekends i know i should be studying but i wanna have fun but have no-one to have fun with. Well it was nice to get that out! Does any one else feel the same? Link to comment
winkybear Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 Hey mar1a. U might wanna create a new thread to get more replies to ur post. Im almost your age too, and sometimes i do feel the same. Just try finding a couple of friends who has the same interests. Ppl u feel u can click with. I have a couple of friends whom i spend time the most with. The rest are just the faces i meet in school. Try making the effort of calling them out somewhere, or organize something to do. Link to comment
mar1a_c Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 Thanks winkybear.. Haha i just checked my inbox and was amazed that i got a reply so soon! Yeh what you suggested makes a lot of sense... like its hard for be to b open with friends and family so they dnt know that i'm down....but i'll definitely try it and i bet it will work Link to comment
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