Completely bored and dissatisfied with my life

[Saures]

I'm 21 and I have a pretty good set up, I think I'm really lucky.

 

I moved out, I'm engaged, I'm starting a new job shortly which will really open up doors for me, I have two dogs, despite our age, we're doing really well financially.

 

But I am so bored. I've entered this mind numbingly boring routine and it's making me miserable. I used to be so confident and sure of myself and be so enthusiastic, I had all these crazy ideas and goals and I was so sure I'd achieve them.

 

I have no interests, no hobbies and my partner is the same. Most weekends we sit at home watching TV, I have no friends, the only other people I hang out with are my parents. I moved 4 hours from my home town when I was 16, so I had to completely rebuild my social structure but I've never found friends who I genuinely, really want to spend time with on top of that, I've become extremely socially awkward and just can't maintain friendships.

 

I feel as if I have grown up too fast, that I haven't given myself the chance to experience things. I love my partner, and whilst young, I do want to marry him, I do want to be with him, but sometimes I do feel that if we did not become such a serious couple, maybe I'd have friends and a healthy social structure. In my relationship I am 100% happy, but everything else, I'm just so fed up.

 

I am just so bored and I have no idea what to do. Before 'settling down', I used to go out all the time, I'd meet new people, I'd try new things and go to different places.

 

Has anyone else ever felt this way, or a similar experience? I try so hard to try and break the routine, but it's difficult when you share your entire life who otherwise, seems quite happy with their mundane routine. Naturally, I am an outgoing, adventurous and fun person, but for a long time now I just feel like an empty shell.

[melancholy123]

It does sound like you've gotten into quite a rut and nobody can change that but you. Look into potential hobbies that you can do on your own, there's nothing wrong with being apart from your partner, in fact it's healthy to have your own interests. Get out with or without your partner and go places. Go with him to the movies, visit an attraction in your area, maybe take a weekend trip somewhere new. You need to shake up your routine.

 

Marrying at 21 may be a little hasty since it sounds like you have not done much "living" yet.

[Wiseman2]

Even when people are coupled off, they have to live life and grow, both as individuals and together. Suggest stuff to do that's more interesting as a couple as well as develop some of your own interests and friends.. Are you feeling he's holding you back?

I feel as if I have grown up too fast, that I haven't given myself the chance to experience things. I love my partner, and whilst young, I do want to marry him, I do want to be with him, but sometimes I do feel that if we did not become such a serious couple, maybe I'd have friends and a healthy social structure.

[Saures]

I feel awful saying it, but I do feel as if I'm being held back. He's not doing it on purpose, everytime I've had an opportunity to make friends he's always encouraged me, he never stops me from going on a night out with work colleagues, he isn't controlling, he doesn't mind if I go out without him.

 

The difficulty is rebuilding my confidence and finding ways to make friends, or be able to get hobbies.

 

I am also now very bad with making and maintaining friendships, because I am on my own so often and have nothing to fill my time with, when I do meet someone that I get on well with, it almost becomes quite obsessive and I try extremely hard to maintain what seems to always be a dying conversation. I find myself taking it very personally if I try and connect with them over Facebook or whatever to try and build that friendship up more and when get little to no response, I always, always feel that they're not interested in speaking with me and that brings me down even worse.

 

I just can't seem to get the confidence to do things on my own, nor can I maintain friendships with anyone new I meet as I just become obsessive and in the end I just slump off back in to my relationship until someone new crops up.

 

I used to be so interesting and fun and bubbly and I used to have so many different friends and I was so good at maintaining them.

[missrepressed]

I'm going through something very similar. Same age, 3 cats, a house, and a baby. I don't really have any friends. The people I was friends with before are more interested in partying and getting high. It's important to not be so down on yourself. You're telling yourself that the problem is that you're boring and it's giving you a lot of anxiety about making new friends. I do it to.

Try to build up your confidence. People feel uncomfortable around people who are anxious.

Find someone that seems like they'd be a good, reliable friend. If you tell them how you feel they'll understand why you're giving off those anxious vibes and help you move past it.

Sometimes you'll just have to sift through some selfish people who have no interest in developing a true friendship. Trust me when I say that our biggest problem is that we're at an awkward age where our peers are still mostly children solely focused on their own interests and things that are instantly satisfying.