Chloelise Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 So I just broke up with my boyfriend of 9 months and I feel so, so terrible and I can't tell if I regret it or not. I broke up with him because: 1. I didn't really feel a 'spark' with him. I wasn't sure if I loved him the same way he loved me. 2. I've been confused about my sexuality for a while now, and thought that breaking up with him would help me figure myself out. The problem is, now that I've broke up with him I realise what my sexuality is, and that I still have an attraction to men, as well as women. I also like to think that the whole spark thing can be worked on, especially since I feel that maybe I didn't put enough effort into the relationship, but I guess I won't really know unless I give it a try. This guy really cares about me and we have so much fun and laughs together, and I don't want to lose that with him. He said we could still be friends but I can't help but think of what we could have been if we stayed together. I feel so terrible about it, I can't stop feeling/being sick from it because I feel like I might have made a mistake, I can't be sure. I know I've hurt him really badly, I thought that once the break up was over and done with I would feel fine, relieved even, but I really don't, I feel absolutely awful. I feel like I may have broke up with him more out of pressure from my friends (I brought up the thought of it once to them, and they've been telling me to do it ever since), but again, I can't be sure. I just don't know what to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkellyWoozle Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 Though relationships take time to build on, I would suggested that after nine months you'd know about the 'spark' and whether it's there or not. I think you did the right thing... especially as you were unsure of your se×uality too. You're feeling guilty too because of your friends... but that was, I suggest, because you already had doubts about which you'd shared with them. Don't beat yourself up about this - you have to do what's right for you too X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
femaleanomaly Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 I wouldn't second guess your initial gut feeling. At the end of the day, you've already broken up with him. Break ups aren't usually a happy affair and they have a nasty habit of lingering (whether you were the one who was broken up with or you are doing the breaking up). Regret will not change what's already been done. Even if you went back to him and got back together this event won't go away. That being said, I don't think you were wrong to do it. It's important to figure yourself out, to have time alone and discover exactly who you are. Don't put yourself down for placing self discovery before a relationship. I think it was very brave. Give yourself some time alone, focus on other things, and don't forget that the "honeymoon" phase doesn't last forever. Hope you feel better soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chloelise Posted October 16, 2016 Author Share Posted October 16, 2016 Thank you both for the responses, you've helped put my mind at ease a little bit. I suppose in the long-term this was for the best. I appreciate both of your responses Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OceanDrifting Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 Although I cannot relate to the sexuality side of your story I can to the rest. I too am currently miserable about a somewhat mutual break up and I am constantly missing her, resisting the urge to txt and get back together with her. We broke up 2 days ago, after 7 months she loved me and I wasnt there yet, that and compatibilty issues forced the decision to mutually breakup. Like you I cannot shake this feeling she is the one and I am making a huge mistake. I went into the relationship very defensive and reserved to protect myself from being hurt and I dont feel I put enough of myself into the relationship. Neither of us wanted to break up but its very easy to forget what didnt work when you are feeling miserable without them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 Even though breakups are bittersweet, you did the right thing ending it and not leading him.So I just broke up with my boyfriend 1. I didn't really feel a 'spark' with him. I wasn't sure if I loved him the same way he loved me. 2. I've been confused about my sexuality for a while now, and thought that breaking up with him would help me figure myself out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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