poutylilsag Posted March 11, 2005 Share Posted March 11, 2005 I am really confused. I have been with my boyfriend 2 years. In our sex life we like to try new things and such. But the other night something happened that took me entirely by surprise. My boyfriend has brought up the idea of having a threesome as a fantasy of his. (both with another guy or another girl) He said that it was something that he wanted to fantasize about because real life is never as good. He requested one night to watch me pretend to perform oral sex on a dildo. I thought that was an odd request but decided to humor him. While I was doing this he started to kiss me neck, chest etc. He then started to kiss me as I done it. The next thing I know he was performing oral sex on the dildo. Now I have this imagine of my boyfriend doing this. I don't really know why I am so freaked out. I mean I like to think I am open-minded. I guess I just feel like he wanted me to do that so he could try it, grr I don't know. And it is something that I know he doesn't want to talk about. I tried to bring the subject up, but he just brushed it off. I am just confused. Any advice would be great. (Also he is always making jokes about homosexuals- and telling me how disgusting he thinks it is- but since he wanted to perform oral sex on a dildo I am wondering if he really is disgusted) Does anyone think I am just over reacting? Link to comment
MetallicAguy Posted March 11, 2005 Share Posted March 11, 2005 I think he's bi. Ask him if he's attracted to guys too..gross lol. Link to comment
usied Posted March 11, 2005 Share Posted March 11, 2005 quite frankly , i think i would be a little bit weirded out too...the fact that yous are open , yet he doesn't want to talk about this is weird... and if i had a bf and he sucked on a dildo in front of me...hmm i really don't know about that one ...try talking with him again and tell him it has really been bothering you , and it confuses you bc until now hes been soo homophobic ..good luck Link to comment
tanned_production Posted March 11, 2005 Share Posted March 11, 2005 I think it may be something that he just wanted to try... it doesnt necessarily mean that he's attracted to guys, or wants to perform oral on a guy... probably just a natural curiosity. If he got you to do it first, it kind of brought up the opportunity for him to try. But its up to you whether it makes you feel uncomfortable or not. Try talking to him about it again, its an important issue! good luck Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted March 11, 2005 Share Posted March 11, 2005 he plays for both teams i'd say. but who knows..ask him. Link to comment
BillyJean714 Posted March 11, 2005 Share Posted March 11, 2005 No, I don't think you're trippin. In fact, it's good that you're aware of this. I would kinda freak out too. And, even if you're an open-minded person, it's still good to be aware of these things. Ask him if guys honestly turn him on. If he's somewhat got a tiny fetish for men, then let him know that it's okay. I am serious. After all, he is who he is, and we should accept people for who they truly are, and not deny them from their own identity. Open and honest communication is important in ALL relationships. If he is somewhat attracted to men, and you're okay with it, then great. But if it bothers you, then realize that this problem won't go away. You will either have to accept him for who he is, or find someone else who best fits you. But for now, communicate. Give him the chance to let his actions show whether or not, he means what he says. Good luck... Link to comment
jaiva Posted March 11, 2005 Share Posted March 11, 2005 You aren't overreacting. It is good that you realized this. I think he is into guys as well as girls. Ask him about it. Tell him this is something you need to talk about because you are worried about the relationship. Hope I helped. Jaiva Link to comment
esboogie143 Posted March 11, 2005 Share Posted March 11, 2005 I have a totally different opinion. I think thats okay. its all good. Its good to always try sumthin nre nonetheless being spontaneous and a lil out there. THat in my opinion spices up the relationship. I dont know....im just open to everything and anything...theres nothing wrong with that. For all u others in the forum reading this...what about when a girl sticks her finger or plays with ur &sshole? That doesnt turn u on or get u horny? U wont be gay then...huh....? its sex!!! Crazy...intense sex...i wouldnt think anything of it...he's doing it with u...right? Well hopefully only u!!! just a lil joke 8) Link to comment
poutylilsag Posted March 11, 2005 Author Share Posted March 11, 2005 ok. i tried to talk to him about it. he changed the subject to ncaa basketball. i guess maybe he is embarrassed he done it. I dont know. But even today i heard him talking to someone about how much is sickened him to think of two guys together. i guess he could have been curious. but it is just odd to think of my bf doing this. lol- i always thought that was supposed to be something i did. side note: i did get him to talk about his threesome fantasy today. he told me he was more interested in having a threesome with another guy than with another girl. he said he wanted to do it "for me" because he would think that being pleasured by two guys would have to be great for the girl. Link to comment
happyphantom Posted March 11, 2005 Share Posted March 11, 2005 I think that he is trying to tell you something....in not so many words. Link to comment
PrincessLinzay Posted March 12, 2005 Share Posted March 12, 2005 In my experience with heterosexual men, whether or not they're homophobic, is that they steer clear of anything even remotely physical with another man. I could beg my boyfriend to do something like that and he would just say "no way". Now I know the whole, different strokes for different folks analogy, but this has been my personal experience. (I was also raised with two brothers, no sisters, and all my brothers friends.) I've heard that gay/bisexual men will also make a pretense of being highly homophobic as a way of hiding the truth. My gay male friends have even admitted to such behavior when they were discovering their sexuality and feeling guilty about it. I don't think that you are overreacting at all. In all my dealings with straight men, I've never met one who was like "Hey, I would like to get down in a threesome with another man". Since he's avoiding the subject, there isn't much that can be done, but I would observe his behaviors and look for little red flags. If something else comes up, I would broach the subject gently. Good Luck! Link to comment
PAdreamer Posted March 12, 2005 Share Posted March 12, 2005 I think I would be exceptionally weirded out as well. But this doesn't mean he's gay or even bisexual. Just talk to him. Ask him, without passing judgement, about what he was thinking or feeling- why he wanted to do that. If you let him know that you care about his feelings, he'll be more likely to sit down and talk it through with you. Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted March 12, 2005 Share Posted March 12, 2005 Why does everyone think he is gay? Because he started sucking a rubber c*** and talks about bringing other dudes in to join them in bed. Ya think that might be why? Link to comment
Caldus Posted March 12, 2005 Share Posted March 12, 2005 Why does everyone think he is gay? Because he started sucking a rubber c*** and talks about bringing other dudes in to join them in bed. Ya think that might be why? What I was going to say... Link to comment
Dgirllamius Posted March 12, 2005 Share Posted March 12, 2005 I think he's just open minded and wants to try new things, which is alright. Nothing wrong with that! Just ask him why he wanted to do it because you were a little freaked out. I doubt it's nothing anyway so I wouldn't worry. I know loads of guys that are willing to do things like that e.g. my ex wanted me to give him anal with a dildo (gross) but he defintely wasn't gay Link to comment
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