Here's my poem, doesn't have a name yet

[naecha]

Hey Everyone,

I was in a bit of a creative mood the other night so I've written a poem. I hope you all like it. Please give me some responses on it! It doesn't have a name yet, any suggestions??

Thanks

_-~*Tanae*~-_

 

She sits on the bench,

Alone in the cold.

She waits for his voice,

So deep, yet so sweet.

He does not arrive.

She think she knows why.

She is too fat,

And ugly at that.

He never liked her,

He never cared.

She said that he loved her,

She thought it was so.

She slowly walks home,

Her eyes to the floor.

The rain starts to fall.

Does he care at all.

She gets to the doorstep,

Sighs and walks in.

Talking to no one,

She heads to her room.

She opens that box,

And sees that its there.

She picks up the knife,

Then she takes her life.

 

Well yeah that's it,

My friends all think I'm depressed because of the types of poems I write but oh well, they'll all get over it!

Well yeah

Thanks in advance for your responses!

Love Always

[tanned_production]

that was really emotional. i write as well... you're talented!

 

keep writing

[IlOvEyOu]

that was a really good poem and i can relate to it alot and just bcuz you write sad poems doesnt mean your really depressed or you are but its a good way of getting out your emotions keep writtin ur really good!

[naecha]

Hey,

Thanks tanned_production. I didn't think it was that good but one of my friends liked it so I thought I'd just post it anyways.

And IlOvEyOu, I am a bit depressed and stuff, all my friends are starting to notice that, I did write another poem today but I'll just keep it to myself cause it's pretty bad!!

[naecha]

Okay well I wrote another poem...I thought I might post it on here as well as the other one...I hope you like it

 

Speak to me, my precious…

Now tell me what you see…

I see a shadow in the corner

A shadow of what was me

 

I look into her eyes…

Her pain is all so clear

I wonder why she shakes like that

When anyone gets near

 

I long to hold her close…

To wish her fears away

And stay with her all through the night

Making sure that she's ok

 

But when I reach out to wards…

The desperate girl I see…

I find I'm touching glass…

And that girl is really me

 

I look into her eyes…

I'm shocked by her despair

I see her sobbing in her room

Her parents unaware

 

Again I reach towards her…

The cold glass soothes her pain

I know that I must reach her now

Before she goes insane

 

But no matter how I try...

She's still on the other side

Reaching back towards my hands

Yet longing to run and hide

 

And now she looks so broken

As I smash the cold hard glass

I know that I must reach her…

And I know it must be fast

 

I see her falling pieces…

Distorted on the floor

Contorted in so many ways

She's broken now I'm sure

 

I reach out to the glass…

But she's gone from my own sight

I long to find her broken soul

I long to put it right

 

But I don't know how to save her

From what I have become

I try so hard to call her back

When she starts to run

 

Tonight I stare… in the glass…

And now I start to see…

Both of us come from my heart

We're a shadow of what was me…

 

well yeah...please respond!! not many people like my last poems...maybe you'll like this one

[lil_unique_me]

personally i wasnt so keen on the first one but the second one i loved!!! keep writing hunni!

Catie xxx

[naecha]

oh ok...thanks heaps! i like that one sooooo much more!!

[lil_unique_me]

there ya go then, great minds think alike and all that jazz!

Catie xxx

[naecha]

lol..okay thanks! does anyone else like it?

[whatfor]

i like it!!! I feel like that too... like there is this girl in the mirror and i want to take care of her, but its all me, well yes girl you are not alone!