Mjane Posted March 6, 2005 Share Posted March 6, 2005 Ceema, Did you say she was 20? Give her a break already!! I agree it was a stupid remark, but she's 20... she's not even an adult... just out of her teens... she probably hasn't dated too many men... how old are you? Link to comment
Mun Posted March 6, 2005 Share Posted March 6, 2005 I agree with Mjane. Come on guys .. I don't think she was aware of what she was doing... and I doubt that she knew it looked desperate to ask--or she wouldn't have. She isn't stupid, she probably didn't even know her question was a no-no....she just hasn't learned yet what NOT TO DO on a date or on the first few dates. I'm wayyy older and I just learned a few things this past year that I had been doing wrong . That doesn't mean there is something wrong with her. Give her a break!! Link to comment
Caldus Posted March 6, 2005 Share Posted March 6, 2005 Well muneca that is true. I think the real problem here is that we don't know the context of the situation as well as the original poster does. We don't know about everything that is going on with him and that girl. I bet there are some important details missing here. In essense, it's all up to him as to whether she is worth another date or not. There is no use in getting mad about what this girl said. If you feel uncomfortable being with her now then simply tell her you're not interested anymore and do the move on routine. Link to comment
al7 Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 Did you say she was 20? Give her a break already!! Mjane, do you realize the consequences of what you just said? It implies: do not do young people (younger than 20-21 I guess?) they are not adults and not ready for dating. By the way, I agree with such statement Link to comment
al7 Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 I agree with Mjane. Come on guys .. I don't think she was aware of what she was doing... and I doubt that she knew it looked desperate to ask--or she wouldn't have. She isn't stupid, Yes is she is 20 she is ok then. I'd say she might be all right. But then.. Ceema... did you learn anything? Especailly do not young girls part? Link to comment
Mun Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 Like Caldus said: It's up to the original poster if he wants to keep seeing her or not. My opinion was just that you shouldn't judge her as being stupid because of this. I was asking the same questions when I was 34 and I don't consider myself stupid...maybe not on the second date.. but still...case closed . Link to comment
al7 Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 My opinion was just that you shouldn't judge her as being stupid because of this. I was asking the same questions when I was 34 and I don't consider myself stupid...maybe not on the second date.. but still...case closed . Oh now I changed my mind: she might be not stupid at all. The thing is there is no point in dating girls at that young age (20?) and expect something decent in return. If you ask similar questions later on AND in a different form AND didn't expect much from him to say AND didn't say "I am dating other people".. that would be a totally different story Link to comment
Ceema-k Posted March 7, 2005 Author Share Posted March 7, 2005 C'mon people, I wasn't trying to rake this girl over the coals for what she did. It feels like al7 is angrier about the whole thing than I am, and I was the one on the date! Well it gets weirder. Right before I dropped her home, she asks "so what's a good way for me to get a hold of you?" and basically making out like she wanted to call me to go out again in the near future. So as is my general rule I won't be holding my breath for her to call me. But after that date, I said to myself I can take it or leave it. Meaning that if she wants to call me up to hang out, then I'd be ok with that. But, knowing what I know, I won't be going out of my way to set up any more dates with her. Oh and yes, I am enacting a new personal policy to not date any girls under the age of 24 for the next little while. Link to comment
Mjane Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 you never said how old you were Ceema. Link to comment
al7 Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 C'mon people, I wasn't trying to rake this girl over the coals for what she did. It feels like al7 is angrier about the whole thing than I am, and I was the one on the date! Oh and yes, I am enacting a new personal policy to not date any girls under the age of 24 for the next little while. Ceema, You seem preceptive, I imagined how I felt if I were you on that date. I am glad I managed to convey I'd feel. And that's definitely a very good policy to have! Link to comment
Ceema-k Posted March 8, 2005 Author Share Posted March 8, 2005 Mjane, I'm 27. I didn't start dating until I was 21. I think my inexperience.. or late blooming.. is scaring me off from dating people my own age. But I'm also starting to realize I'm swinging too far the other way. Hey, live and learn 8) Link to comment
Caldus Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 Mjane, I'm 27. I didn't start dating until I was 21. I think my inexperience.. or late blooming.. is scaring me off from dating people my own age. But I'm also starting to realize I'm swinging too far the other way. Hey, live and learn 8) It doesn't matter when you start. Some people start dating younger than that and still run into many issues even after several years of dating. Link to comment
al7 Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 I think my inexperience.. or late blooming.. is scaring me off from dating people my own age. I just want to make sure: in the sense you are not like people, men of you age when it comes to dating? I guess when it comes to dating and men's age, the crucial thing is a guy's financial situation. But it seems unlikely that you referred to it, did you? If it is just about experience in dating, hmm you got me thinking, I am good at math: 27-21=6 years of dating for a guy in his twenties is quite decent time span to say he has experience. So what were you referring to? Link to comment
Ceema-k Posted March 8, 2005 Author Share Posted March 8, 2005 I had a feeling someone would do the math. Maybe I shouldn't have made that my main point. Even in 6 years, I haven't had a lot of dating experience. So if you even it all out, I feel like I would be on more equal footing with someone in the younger age bracket than the typical person who is my age. That, al7, is what I was referring to Link to comment
al7 Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 Even in 6 years, I haven't had a lot of dating experience. So if you even it all out, I feel like I would be on more equal footing with someone in the younger age bracket than the typical person who is my age. Lets talk about evening it out. What is a ballpark figure of first dates you had in last 6 yrs? And did you date constantly all these time, or.. intermitently (like one year did and the other did not)? Link to comment
Ceema-k Posted March 9, 2005 Author Share Posted March 9, 2005 Meh.. I don't think # of first dates is any sort of accurate measure. I've had 2 short relationships (less than 4 months each). There was maybe one year in there that I didn't go on a single date... i think when i was 25. Link to comment
al7 Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 Meh.. I don't think # of first dates is any sort of accurate measure. I am not saying it is very accurate, but at least it is something. Just I saw that a single professional on average went to 8 first dates per year. Not sure if you were single professional at 21, but still it can give us some sort fo ballpark. Besides experience in dating measures.. in dates, right? I mean I would not measure it in relationships. by the way, why do you feel you didn't have enough experience to consider yourself experienced enough? is it about numbers of something or anythign else? Link to comment
GATSBY Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 Agree.....Geez!! Sounds like maybe she is shopping to see who will make a committment. Dating sure hasn't gotten any simplier. Link to comment
GATSBY Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 Hey folks...no matter how much experience you have with dating or relationships, it doesn't make it easier to figure out. At any age, its difficult. People play games...... Link to comment
al7 Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 Hey folks...no matter how much experience you have with dating or relationships, it doesn't make it easier to figure out. At any age, its difficult. People play games...... Experience allows you not to dwell on something you will not like later. If you don't know, were out of the league (married foe example) than it is harder... If you are extremely young, it is very hard too. In general the older you are the easier it should be...more experience, people are getting more established in life, smarter and hav less hangups. Link to comment
tanned_production Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 i dont think she was purposely trying to shut you down. you should be happy she was being honest with you. would you have rather found that out after a few dates with her? continue to go on dates.... if you want things to go up another level then talk to her about it. it needs to be 2 sided! good luck and keep us updated Link to comment
Mjane Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 ceema, your totally normal. I think going with 24+ is a good idea. Wait till they are out of college. Link to comment
Ceema-k Posted March 11, 2005 Author Share Posted March 11, 2005 Thanks for the support Mjane... but me, normal?? news to me. Link to comment
Mjane Posted March 11, 2005 Share Posted March 11, 2005 ha ha. I meant normal in the sense of your dating history...I think it's positive you've had a couple of short relationships... don't worry about not having a long relationship... I haven't really either... I figure I'm saving that for the guy I'm going to marry. Link to comment
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