We finally hung out.

[fmfisdead]

Alright, so this is pretty much an update for any of you that would happen to remember or happen to care. Remember that girl that I thought liked me and I wasn't sure and she flirted a lot online, well we eventually hung out, and then I posted about physical attraction and how I wasn't so sure if I was physically attracted to her. Well most of you were right because she started to grow on me. So we hung out again last night, and I actually thought it was a fun time, we got together in a group, all of them being my friends, and we just went out to eat and went to stores and joked around. I thought it was a pretty fun time seriously. She was being pretty shy as she normally does so I thought nothing of it. Long story short, I'm taking her home from hanging out and I asked her how her time was, I asked if she had fun. She tells me "Not Really." . Alright I respect the honesty I really do, but that was just rude. She said that she didn't know anyone and I noted to her that she never even attempted to get to know anyone. For some reason I took this personally because I wanted to take her out to hang out and she didn't have any fun at all. So after that I seriously just turned my music up and ignored her for her 40 minute drive home. Maybe I'm overreacting but I feel like that was pretty much the end for me because I think that was rude, and I had a fun time, and if shes not going to be able to hang out with my friends, then I can't really be with her anyways. I hung out with her friends before the other time and felt just fine.

So I guess where I'm at now is, what should I do next? I do like the girl and I do want to get to know her better, we clicked on a lot of levels and it was really cool that that hapened for once. She doesn't know I liked her, and I'm pretty much doubting that she likes me, but I'm thinking about having one last talk with her, telling her how I feel, and then either never talking to her again or if she feels the same maybe try to talk out this misunderstanding. What are some of your thoughts? thanks for reading this.

[dreynolds]

You gotta play it more cool than cranking up your stereo to ignore her man - that AIN'T GOING TO GET THE GIRL!!!

 

What do you want with her? A buddy to hang out with - or you actually interested in this girl - because you have to figure that out before you make your approach here!

 

Your personalities are different - she's shy - you're more outgoing - so hanging with her friends (who were at first strangers to you) was no big deal - but for her, hanging with your friends (strangers to her) made it uncomfortable for her. She probably only wanted to spend time with you - and basically, the only chance she could get at that HAD to be with you AND your friend.

 

My suggestion - if you like the girl - then take HER out - no friends...or maybe just one friend (yours or hers) with a date....get to know each other. She obviously is uncomfortable in crowds of strangers - so avoid this...at least until you're much closer to each other (ie. a couple)..so she at least knows one person well who she can be with.

 

Most importantly here - after having read your post....play it cool! No more drowning her out with music!

Good luck bud...

[FuriousSam]

dreynolds is right, just because she didn't have fun, don't ignore her by turning up the music. You were acting childish there. And since you two were hanging out with your friends, you should have open her up more by putting her on the spot then tease her about it if she wants to dodge it. Those are your friends, you are her key to them.

 

And about the car comment, you could have say something like, "Oh, I guess next time we'll just have to go out alone then." That would have gotten you a date right there.

[MetallicAguy]

I hate these kind of people they absolutely have no life any fun whatsoever! this girl is a total jerk. I mean she could of at least lied, if I were you I'd take that really personally and be really pissed off. I'd dump her. She's the kind of girl that grows old and irritable and miserable with someone else miserable and irritable, and they look back on their lives and think to themselves "Wow I was such an ***#0!*, I'd do anything to be nice to him/her again". So just move on with your life tell her how she pissed you off, pretty bad and dump her. I already have a hate for her and I don't know her lol, it just reminds me of some people I once knew that were exactly like this...

[fmfisdead]

See thats the thing, I KNOW it was childish to do that, but I took it really personally. And as I see it, those are my friends, and if she doesnt have fun with us now, when will she ever. I'm kind of guy that can have fun wherever I'm at and I just see her being like, can we go now? and being angry if I'm hanging around my friends. I kinda feel like there was no reason she shouldnt have atleast had SOME fun. Thing is, it wasn't ever supposed to be dates or anything, so hanging out with friends is what we do, because I haven't gone as far to tell her that I have feelings. Maybe I should, our conversations are really rough too, because she doesnt talk at all, and I'm not sure if I want to wait around till she gets comfortable. Its just the fact that it seemed like she made NO effort at all, and then said she didnt have fun, its like, you gotta atleast try. Im sure she would have lots more fun with her own friends, but I mean come on, you can't say the whole time was a complete drag. I dont know, anymore thoughts on this?

[MetallicAguy]

She's just a miserable person, you want to keep these people out of your life. It'll only make you miserable staying around here. There is definitely people better than her. Stop contacting her and let her be stuck in her ****** mood.

[fmfisdead]

I kind of was planning on doing that, I'm not sure if shes a bad person or not or miserable, but it meant so much more to me than her just saying she didnt have a good time, im pretty much writing her off. Thanks for your input guys.

[FuriousSam]

You say she doesn't really start conversations with you at all? And then she made no effort to have fun with you regardless of who's friends you guys are out with? I would say those are signs of low interest. Telling her your feelings will only drive her away.

[rnorth]

I would only repeat what's been said before but remember to go easy on yourself as well. So you made a few mistakes but who hasn't? You're learning from them. It may go a long way if you just contacted her, APOLOGIZE and let her know where you are coming from. ESPECIALLY, try and see her point of view. Offer to make it up to her. If she says no, you can still take stock in the fact that you took the high road. If she says yes, you have a great opportunity to really show her what your made of.

 

Good luck!

[fmfisdead]

So for any of you that care and that are watching this topic, I had a little talk with her and we made up and what not, I told her I knew it was immature of me to turn the music up and all that. I told her I had feelings for her and thats probably why it angered me more, and she said she had feelings for me too. . I didn't really see that one coming, so now I don't really know what to do anymore because I was so ready to write her off from my life.