Day 13 of NC,we hugged, we kissed, we had sex but I feel worse.Would love advice

[Jagg]

Hi,

 

My ex-GF of two years and I broke up on March 5th, basically because we got into routine, and She said I wasn´t taking care of myself and She didn´t want a sick husband because I could`ve got diabetes, and because sometimes we had tough times with sex, sometimes She would feel awesome and sometimes just no, no matter how hard I tried. She is 24 and I am 25, we really loved each other, She did soooo much for me it´s incredible.

 

She once told me that if you feel someone is the woman/man of your life, you should fight for it, and for me, She is. I started NC inmediately, She told me she wanted to be single for now. We had very little contact (can´t even count as breaking NC) from the past 13 days and we saw each other yesterday because we exchanged our stuff. She hugged me real hard, cried, and we kissed; we also had a really long talk, She told me that She didn´t leave her house besides going to college, that She hadn´t cry and She was skipping all the songs that I gifted to her because She said She was sad (She was crying like crazy).

 

When we broke up, I told her that I would call her when I had the Keith Urban tickets and the flights to New Orleans, a trip we dreamed about that is in Octuber, 3 days before her birthday. Yesterday while we talked She said "Don´t buy the Keith Urban tickets, because I really don´t wanna go back, I don´t want to marry you", this made me feel like my heart drop to my stomach. I kept it cool and said "Well, we don´t know time" and She said "You don´t believe me, you don´t think I am serious" and I said "You once told me that if I felt somebody is the woman of my life, I should fight, and please, you don´t get to decide how I feel, what I do or what to think. I am not a psycho, of course, but as you said, we don´t know time. You don´t wanna go back YET, but me neither because I know I am not ready". After this one hour talk or so, we kissed, got into my house and had sex, we made it for like 4 hours on and off, all time She was calling me "amor" (we speak spanish) and She hugged me with love, I felt it.

 

While we were on NC, I felt really good, like I knew I would get her back, that I would lose my extra weight, I would be super fit, because of this I would get better at sex and we both would heal in the meantime, giving us time to miss each other (I am already losing weight, She noticed that, and yeah, I have being hitting the gym hard). But know, even though I know She loves me and She cares about me, I don´t know if I will get the chance to get her back, even if I become a Men´s Health model. My optimistic me tells me to keep doing what I am doing and if She loved me while I was not in my best moment, She is going to love my "Me 2.0" that is going to be great, and my pessimistic me tells me I don´t have a chance at all.

 

I know it´s too early, but do you guys think the wounds of our failed relationship are still open and with time She would be more open about it? I know we both need time, but is it posible? Is it posible to come back? I think She is taking a decision while not thinking clearly and while not healthy emotionally. I really think I want to fight for her (while no contact) and then appear one day, completely healed and changed.

 

Sorry about the long post and my english, and thank you for your time!

[SooSad33]

You will need much more time than this to see IF things are going to work out between you two...

I find, in the end BOTH parties had issue's. Not just one ( so not just you).

She's going on about diabetes? YOU are only in your 20's. Unless it's inherited thru family.. i dont know why this is being thrown about??

 

Your best bet is to just go totally No contact now and continue as you are. Working on yourself! And stay busy. get your rest, etc.

No matter what happens, we have NO control over their actions/decisions, etc.

 

I am sorry you're going thru this. I've been there a couple of times. I have nothing more to do but take care of myself and go one day at a time.

 

If there's tears from loss.. then let it happen. Vent out in a workout.. or write about it.

 

If things improve for you two eventually, then they will in time. Not next week or month. In time.

So... see if you stil feel this deep about everything in another 4-6 months. Chances are, things are not as extreme.

 

After a 'loss'.. we all need time to work on healing and accepting.

 

tc