Depression and anxiety ruining me

[karebear07]

Hi There everyone. So I'm a newbie here and really a newbie at talking about my issues with anyone. I've been suffering from depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. I don't remember what it's like to be happy. As I get older, my mental and emotional state seem to be getting worse. I'm 29 years old and I can't seem to move on

from my past. Out of nowhere, I'll just start thinking about how people wronged me or why I've never been good enough. Now most of these feelings stem from 10 plus years ago and it's frustrating how I can't let go. Whenever I feel like I've been rejected, even the littlest thing, I think about the past and beat myself up. I can't go more than a couple of days without feeling extremely anxious or depressed. I isolate myself from everyone and everything when I'm in one of my moods (which is most of the time) I wake up every single morning feeling sad and hopeless. This seems to be the worst time for me. I absolutely loathe talking about my issues with anyone. I guess because I don't want them to view me as a weak person. I've never been to therapy or taken any medication and I doubt I'll be able to bring myself to take the first steps to get help. This mental and emotional prision I'm in is ruining my life and I don't know what to do anymore. Does anyone have any advice? I would really appreciate the help. Thanks in advance guys.

[melancholy123]

You need to take that first big step and get some therapy from a qualified therapist. You can't fix yourself by yourself, you need some expert help.

[BeHeard]

You are making those "first steps" harder than they are. You want to live ANOTHER 10 years like this?

 

I'll tell you, one of my biggest regrets is that I didn't do things sooner.

 

It's not a big deal. Look up some counselors, make an appointment. Medications aren't scary (like I used to believe) and they could very well put you on something low dose just to get you over this hump, then wean you off.

 

It's not worth living like you are living when your a perfectly capable of changing it. I used to wake up sad and hopeless, and now a year later, I'm not always jumping out of bed, but I'm more in tune with how I feel and how to manage it when I'm not. You just lack the tools to do so.