Advice and thoughts are appreciated

[Collegeguy2]

Hi everyone, this will be my first post on here. First off I would like to tell you that I'm a 20 year old male turning 21 in about a month. I go to college, I work two jobs and I also volunteer coach kids from 10-11 years old.

 

So my story began back in high school my junior year. I met this beautiful girl that I had seriously been waiting to start a relationship with someone. At this time my parents were separating I met this girl lets call her M through a mutual friend and we hit it off instantly. M was with me through all the depression and anxiety I built from my parents separating we decided to become a couple and it started a little rough because her ex came back in the picture but we resolved that quickly. Soon after prom, graduation and our birthdays came along we were enjoy our time. I was very close to her family and she was close to mine.

 

As soon as college started after graduating we both got jobs things got harder but we managed to push through and made it to one year. I quickly fell more in love and gave her a promise ring at this point we are both 18.

 

We were madly in love the bad thing was that M really didn't have friends aside from our relationship and I had my close friends. Things became worse and I was a jealous guy and eventually things went really bad and things ended soon after our 2 year anniversary her parents were very angry in the way I treated her. She quickly had friends and I became angry I felt replaced. She did a lot of things she told me she regretted after breaking up with me and I did no contact eventually she contacted me around 20 days and we got back together because I let her back in my life.

 

Last year around February was when we got back together and lasted up until November of that year roughly 8-9 months things were a lot better but again she had left her friends because of bad choices she had made when we had no contact. Towards the end near our 3rd year anniversary we became distance I really began questioning if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and eventually pushed her away which wasn't my intention and we did not spend the holidays together Christmas and New Years we kept contact but she was miserable because I was not communicating well. Finally January 2016 I realize I really do want to be with her but she said it's too late. I begged and begged and pleaded I didn't mean to break up but she accused me of breaking up with her. So finally late February she wanted to meet up and we did I thought we were going to get back together but she said she needed time to get her head straight and asked how much time she would have. I said I didn't want to rush her and eventually that week I couldn't take it anymore and straight up asked her if we were going to be together or not. She then said she can't do it anymore. It was rough she told me she wasn't going to reply to my texts anymore. She was being honest that it's over. I let her know that this break up wasn't me I didn't want it and she said she would take the fault since I was blaming her.

 

Today is day 9 of no contact last message she sent was " I am not going to reply anymore. " And I just said " I know you won't " and she didn't reply that was it I haven't talked to her since then. I've tried avoiding Where she might be and checking up on her because that only hurts me. I've been trying to become a better person and letting the emotions calm so I can really think of the relationship. There are some days I really want to call or text her but I hold back. There are some days I'm doing good. But recently I've been talking to my mom and friends that I really thought she was the one I let slip away. Aside from being high school sweethearts I really think she was the one.

 

I plan on contacting her after about 20 days or a month of no contact and I have talked to my close ones my decision she supports it. Because I want to try again and I would regret it the rest of my life if I would never take another chance. I'm hoping her emotions have also calmed and we can't sit down to really talk. Since I also had a great relationship with her parents before and she said it would be fine to contact them I want to thank them for everything they did for me. (They helped a lot through my problems when my parents split.) I just need some advice and any input would be great.

Thanks for reading.

[chesca210]

Try. As i girl i would love it if my ex still tried to fight for us. Even if it takes time. Maybe she just needed to think things over n said that in the heat of the moment

[Collegeguy2]

I plan on fighting for her as much as I can. And that's what friends have told me as well that she would see that I still care and I gave her time to think... I'm just afraid of the rejection.

[PICCOLLO]

Take 60 days of NC.

 

If after that time you want to pursue her then do so.

 

From your post I think the relationship has quite a few issues. Use the two months to determine if the relationship is something you actually want/ will work long term.

[Collegeguy2]

2 months seems like we would become so distant.