What is 'attraction' or 'chemistry' between people?

[polynated]

Clicking with someone you've never spoken to but someone you see around you a number of times is pretty amazing.

 

For example, at university class, at work...places where you both show up to and just see each other...before saying anything.

 

There are so many people in the world, so many various people...that "clicking" with another on some strange level - just "knowing" that if you interacted there might be something there...it's just pretty amazing.

[Hannibal]

Ok first off let me say its 2:39AM here and I'm to lazy/tired to read 4 pages of replies so this may have already been said.

 

Now, I was watching a tv show on sexuality and biochemistry etc. and what it said was that part of the reason why people are attracted to one another is because (don't ask me how we do this) we're able to tell that they have a different immune system then we do. We like people with a different immune system than us moreso than someone with an immune system that is similar to us. It all has to do with survival of the fittest.

 

Really cool stuff.

[Caldus]

And just how would someone know if someone has a different immune system?

[fallen]

I don't really buy that scientific explanation Hannibal, but it is interesting.

 

Polynated, I completely agree with that... it is a wonderful thing & I have experienced it on various occasions. All too often, however, the guy is already taken or we can't date, but it is still a pretty amazing feeling, although one that I've sometimes had to ignore! But hopefully the right guy will come along someday, and we can acknowledge the compatibility and move the 'spark' to a new level. =)

[al7]

I was watching a tv show on sexuality and biochemistry etc. ....We like people with a different immune system than us moreso than someone with an immune system that is similar to us. It all has to do with survival of the fittest.

 

Ok, I guess that is true, but what is fascinating about it?

Since it is just a theory, it doesn't have any practical consequences for us, people.

They would better do not spend time in immune systems match but rather

figure out a way to get a good match for people in a practical sense.

For example: invent some sort of test that can say how two people are compatible using their data: their blood, DNA, or anythign else...

That would be really COOL!

 

Oh wait...

Caldus: You got a a very good question!!!

I am sure somehow they can do some tests and get the compatibility of the systems. In my opinion they already can make tons of money, millions literraly in this new kind of dating:

Just imagine: they get your data about your immune system, and then.. they deliver to you matches that 100% compatible with you in term sof attraction! It is so GREAT!!!!! I mean it would be if they get enough brains to sell their findings.

Unfortunately it is eaither it is super expensive or they just speculate...

[al7]

hopefully the right guy will come along someday, and we can acknowledge the compatibility and move the 'spark' to a new level. =)

 

I am just wondering: how do you personally evaliuate compatibility

with a guy? Anything specific or it is just ...a feeling of being in love with him?

[polynated]

For example: invent some sort of test that can say how two people are compatible using their data: their blood, DNA, or anythign else...

That would be really COOL!

 

 

There is a new biological/computerized system called CAMBR which is about putting a person's DNA into a computer, which looks at data and then makes various summaries about the person. My dad did a PhD on it.

 

I also read a lot about The End of the World and the info everywhere seems to state that this sort of a DNA analysis, which is input into government computer databases is a sign of the End of the World because every person will then be wearing a "mark of the Beast" attached to their wrist which is a chip with complete DNA analysis, bank details and other things.

 

So I think it's better to trust your instict and emotions when it comes to "clicking" than science. I mean if everything is up to science in terms of love, emotions and feelings...the whole "magic" of love sort of dies in the end.

 

Love to me is mystery and I appreciate it more when it just "happens" without me knowning who my right partner is - I like to think that other forces are working around me, and I prefer those things to remain a mystery.

 

The only this once needs I believe is the confidence to trust one self when it comes to going for the person you feel those "clicking" feelings for. 8)

[al7]

For example: invent some sort of test that can say how two people are compatible using their data: their blood, DNA, or anythign else...

That would be really COOL!

 

 

1. which looks at data and then makes various summaries about the person. My dad did a PhD on it.

 

2. So I think it's better to trust your instict and emotions when it comes to "clicking" than science. I mean if everything is up to science in terms of love, emotions and feelings...the whole "magic" of love sort of dies in the end.

 

3. Love to me is mystery and I appreciate it more when it just "happens" without me knowning who my right partner is - I like to think that other forces are working around me, and I prefer those things to remain a mystery.

 

1. Well, if you dad did his PhD on it, I would expect from you some more specific data then just "various summaries".....

What kinda summaries? anything about being compatible with another person?

 

2. You are so funny tonight: "the whole "magic" of love sort of dies in the end"... it is like your favorite magic movie channel disappear..

Your favorite toy would have been taken from you....

Why do you need this "magick"??? Just to suffer from breaksups, or incompatible with you guys?

When you accumulate enough of dating experience (and obviously some of it could be bad dating experience) you might think differently.

 

3. Of course, since guys should do all the work and you would just sit around doing nothing, sure you like it.

Are we talking about equality of genders these days?

I dislike this kinda "mistery" when somebody get away with

doing nothing and wants to continue doing nothing in terms of dating.

It is just me.

[Caldus]

Do people really believe that it's all "magical"?

 

I really think it just has to do with one person clicking well with someone else. Two people click if they share some common ground and seem attracted to each others' physical traits and/or personalities. And you can tell if they click through their body language.

[polynated]

1. My dad's PhD was not about LOVE and DATING, it was about how genes and DNA profiles are inserted into computer systems of governments and how this is an ethical issue. It was to do with Law and Biology and how the two fields have to work together to protect citizens' privacy. Sorry, probably not very relevant to this community - I was just saying that having scientific tools which tested compatibility between 2 people fits into the CAMBR frameworks and that it is quite a dangerous matter in itself because you never know what the government or those who get hold of your DNA profiles might do with them.

 

2. I am actually recovering from a very very painful breakup - it took me 8 months and I am still somewhat shaken. Yet, I still believe in "magic" of love - by that I don't mean "toy like magic" but in a sense where things just feel wonderous around you - it's a romantic mindset but it has happened to me...yes I got hurt by this guy but I'd like to experience the "magic" again with someone else. How you define "magic" is however you choose - for me, it's just emotions basically.

 

3. Hehe. Well I'm 20 and I've had 2 guys to date so far - 1st lasted 2 weeks, the other one 2 years. I guess I'm still young.

 

4. Um...well actually when I was in a relationship with my ex, it was I who saved up all the money and went over to Australia to see him, it was I who started looking for a job, and it was I who told him I liked him...so...evidence speaks for itself.

 

By "mystery" I mean, surreptitious communication with someone in the early stages - it's just flirting basically with someone I have yet to talk to - and when you finally talk to them you just get all these goosebumps everywhere....and mystery is nice - it's like you want to discover more about another person.

 

so there! 8)

[Caldus]

How you define "magic" is however you choose - for me, it's just emotions basically.

 

Yeah I was gonna say. It's just a series of emotions that you feel that puts you in the mindset that everything is going great. I've felt that way a few times but I wouldn't call it "magic". Magical would mean (link removed) "Of, relating to, or invoking the supernatural" which I don't think there are any supernatural things involved in this.

[fallen]

As a girl, I have to say that #5 is not true. But I am perhaps the more confident, modern type of woman. I approach guys, talk to them, flirt and try to come up with witty responses to show my intellect. Not all girls just like to sit back & let the guy be the smarter, more ambitious one you know. But perhaps because I'm a pre-law it's different... =)

[fallen]

hopefully the right guy will come along someday, and we can acknowledge the compatibility and move the 'spark' to a new level. =)

 

I am just wondering: how do you personally evaliuate compatibility

with a guy? Anything specific or it is just ...a feeling of being in love with him?

 

Hey,

 

I responded to what I thought the 'spark' was in one of my early posts, on the first page. Check it out... I gave my definition of "attraction" there. I wouldn't say it's a feeling of being in love; but you just feel in sync with each other on different levels -- ideally, physically, emotionally & intellectually. This one guy I felt I had an amazing connection with, we were able to exchange witty responses with each other without effort, and could complete each other's sentences after only chatting for 5 mins. Ir was like an instant connection. Of course, this is, for me the "ideal" connection, but you're not so lucky to meet people that you'll connect with them so well. When I first met him I could feel that he was a little quirky, withdrawn & intelligent, and I felt at ease to let my idiosyncracies show without being intimidated (i.e. when I met him, I had to adjust my chair just right and adjust my papers, etc. showing my perfectionist tendencies, and slipped in some of my goofy words, like "okaly-dokalie" (sp?) that I wouldn't do with someone I wasn't really comfortable with.)

 

I also felt at ease with him... for example, he was like "Do you mind if I borrow your pen?" and I was like "yeah, sure" (awkward pause, he looks like he's contemplating... I read him correctly, and without skipping a beat say), "no, Josh, I don't mind..." He smiles, and we just stare at each other in silence... I just felt like we were so right at that point.. but of course, he ended up ignoring me afterwards and alas nothing happened. The story of my life, partly the reason why I created this thread. I thought there might be something wrong in how I'm evaluating attraction. But I think I know... it's just the timing that's not right.

 

edit: although now his friends, some of which I have never talked with, make sure they say hi to me everytime they see me... so he probably told them about me. I don't know, he's just weird. I'm completely over him of course, but... man, everytime I see him, it's just like... melting in each other's eyes. I don't know how to explain it. it sucks so much.