What is she doing?

[Simba87]

I was involved in a very short but intense relationship with a colleague at work; she literally sits opposite me!

We dated, spent pretty much a month in each other's pockets. On Valentine's Day I tried to call her bluff about a situation with her and another colleague and let's say she didn't react well.

A week later we went on a city break which he had booked whilst we were still just "colleagues". We had been sleeping with each other and ended up doing so again whilst away. Anyway, it seemed like she hated me after that and she pretty much said it was over.

We came back and things have been awkward to say the least since.

I have stayed away as I don't want to be the "annoying" guy that wants her back. I have totally backed off even though she is constantly on my mind.

We have been seperating for two weeks and she has text me a few times about random things.

I just don't know where her head is at??

She has told me she's a "practical" emotional; I suppose she's had to be since she lost her mum when she was 4 and her dads never been around.

Someone's I feel like she hates me and then other times it's like she's still interested.

I've kept my composure so far but my mind is in overdrive. I'm really fond of her and things were perfect until Valentine's Day.

Any insight or speculation as to what she's thinking or feeling would be gratefully received!

Thanks all!

I'm 29 and she's 26 (if that counts for anything)

Happy to answer any questions as I may have missed details.

[boltnrun]

She's probably trying to be civil since you work right next to one another.

 

But...don't expect her to want to resume your sexual relationship. She probably realized what a bad, bad idea it is to sleep with someone she works right next to.

 

BTW, it IS a bad idea, as you can now see.

[SooSad33]

it is always best NOT to get involved with a co-worker. That's one of the worst positions to end up in.

 

How about you back off totally and expect nothing more.

Don't worry about what she is thinking... and don't 'give' into anything more.

 

Respect yourself and walk away.. concentrate on work ONLY.

[nuttybuddy]

if u like her so much, why did u mistrust her and pretty much called her liar by calling her "bluff?" did she deserve that? or were u overly testing her honesty? i think u pushed her too far and that's why the relationship is the way it is. did u ever formally apologize for it if u later on believed her? if u haven't even apologized and u expect her to like u back, u must be deluded.

 

this is a lesson learned for u. u need to know how far to push boundaries and u need to apologize sincerely so that the other person forgives you.

if u don't learn this lesson now, and u think u did nothing wrong, you're only going to run into this kind of trouble again in the future. and who knows who it will be with, maybe your wife.

[Simba87]

I said it in jest and didn't expect it to become a real issue. I sincerely apologised but I think the damage was done.

 

I recognised that I became comfortable way too quick.

[Simba87]

I pretty much have backed off. She has made all contact.

 

I am choosing to remain dignified, but obviously feelings don't just go away.

 

I understand I was wrong.

[nuttybuddy]

well, thanks for answering my questions. first of all, even though u said it as a "jest" i don't think anyone was laughing. secondly, if u were dirt honest with yourself, maybe you have insecurity issues because you felt threatened that the other guy was in the picture.

 

i'm glad to hear u sincerely apologized. how did she take the apology? did she graciously accept it or did she brush it off and moved on? i think if it was the latter, she may be still a little mad at u. u know, it doesn't hurt to apologize with something that she'll like. maybe a flower delivery to work from an anonymous person saying "sorry?" i'm sure she'll immediately wonder if it was u. and if she asks u in private, u can confirm so.

 

of course, if that's too flashy and all the coworkers are going to pester about who was apologizing to her, then u could do something more discreet.

[boltnrun]

I disagree with the flower delivery idea.

 

All that would do is make you look like the guy who refuses to take "no" for an answer.