Bo3 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 Hey! Basically if you's have seen my last posts Long story short I've been out of an abusive 3 year realationship about 2 months now 'I never hit her, she hit me'. I'm 22 btw.. I've been seeing a really nice girl sort of the past 2 weeks. I think it was Wednesday just gone we slept together. I dunno whats going on in my head but since we slept together I can't stop thinking about my ex like dreaming about her and stuff.. It's almost like I'm comparing. My ex was a curvy mix race girl like honestly the most beautiful girl I've ever seen! I dunno like the thought of her being with anyone else absoloutly tears me apart. It's like by seeing this girl I'm trying to rush the process of me getting over my ex! And I thought it was working until I slept with her.. It's harsh I no but I seen her this Saturday just gone and we slept together again and today 'Sunday' I just haven't really made much effort to talk to her It's like I've been put of her for some reason. I think something triggered in my head cause my mum showed me a picture of my ex cause she still has her on Facebook Friday night as she was going out clubbing and it just made me wanna be with her idk like I no all is what I'm saying is bad. I just really really miss my ex she messaged me happy birthday last week but we didn't really speak. She just said she wished it could be different but it's better of this way and I totally agree. It's just hard it was me that really broke it of in the end.. Me and this girl I'm currently seeing get on amazing too and she's really attractive.. As harsh and low as it sounds I just don't find her as attractive as my ex and I no that's not the most important thing but there's like a barrier. Just some advice on moving forward? I don't want my ex back cause as hot as she is she wasn't what I wanted as a person ie going out every weekend, trying to change me, hitting me when she got angry/drunk. There's loads of other stuff but anyway.. Should I try be alone for a bit? See different girls with no commitments? Idk.. Thank you in advance Link to comment
kevinm Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 You should stop dating and work on yourself for a while. It's completely unfair to the person you're currently dating. Your heart/head are still obsessing about your ex, and in an unhealthy fashion I might add. As you age you'll realize that this fleshy sack of water we all tote around is just that... the exterior. We don't choose how we look, but we can influence the type of person we become. When you're young all you look at is the physical body. Your brain is focused on sex, and you think that's the most important thing. As you get older you want more and more to find someone that you can get along with. Someone who shares a similar set of morals and values. Someone whose future vision aligns with your own. Physical attraction, while very important, is not the most important. I wouldn't even put it in the top three. The body will come and go. Try and learn to love with your heart and not your eyes. Link to comment
Bo3 Posted February 1, 2016 Author Share Posted February 1, 2016 Cheers Kevin really appreciate that.. I'll take it all on board mate. Tbh your right! Thank you Link to comment
skern Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 100% yes, you definitely need to be focusing on just you and not worrying about trying to forget about your ex with other women. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 You may want to tell your mother to stop talking about her or bringing her picture to your attention. That's just keeping her in your conscious mind and you'll find it harder to get to the blissful stage of indifference to her when she's forefront in your thoughts. Take a course, join a gym, join a co-ed sports team, start a hobby. Do things for yourself that will keep your mind busy but don't date yet, you're not ready and the woman you slept with, if she's looking for more of an emotional connection as opposed to just a sexual one, you'll shred her heart once you're feeling better and you realize that you were just with her to try and assuage your pain. Link to comment
Bo3 Posted February 1, 2016 Author Share Posted February 1, 2016 Thank you everyone.. Your completely right! I really appreciate your replies. In gonna cut things of with this girl and just explain to her what's going on in my head. I don't wanna hurt anyone Link to comment
Hazyillusions Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 Take at least 6 months off dating to just get your head and heart around things. That's what I plan on doing. Link to comment
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