I don't want to respond ever again, but don't know how...

[wondering731]

There is someone that has been on and off in my life as a friend. I do care about her a lot. In the beginning we were close and things fell apart (my fault) and it happened a couple of times where she tried, but nothing of it. She's at the point now where she'll invite me to family or friend events. I had stopped responding to them, but at some point gave in again.

 

The reason I don't want to respond is that the relationship is one-sided. She knows I'm there for her if she needs something, but if something isn't in her control of how she wants it, it won't happen. I've stopped asking to even grab a coffee because the answer is "I'm busy". If her friends ask why me and her don't date she'll enjoy the attention of it and I'll overhear her tell them things I've done for her, but there's nothing. Even a conversation at an event, if she doesn't start and I say something she'll give me a disgusted face like "why are you talking to me?" type of face.

 

We have many mutual friends so I don't know what I can do, but I feel like I'm becoming somewhat negative towards her so don't think that's good for anyone. I went out with her and a friend after a few weeks of not seeing her and she kept saying how much she misses us. I didn't respond even though that should probably be a normal response to just say "I miss you too". By the end of the night she repeated it directly to me and asked if I miss her, and I just said "of course" to keep things polite. She then gave a date/time that I could invite them to something.

 

I don't get why she bothers, and don't know how to deal with it properly. Any insight? I have discussed pieces of this in the past, but still dealing with it and sometimes more info might help to draw a pic so putting it down.

 

Thanks

[Rmbrmelover]

May sound silly but if this person is a friend of yours you should be able to just ask them what's up

[wondering731]

May sound silly but if this person is a friend of yours you should be able to just ask them what's up

 

She'll just say she doesn't know what I'm talking about. That we're friends and everything is ok.

[msbrunette]

Don't say you miss her if you don't. Stop being so considerate of someone who's not vs you.

I would just tell her next time she asks you, she's been a shi-tty friend and you're not putting up with it anymore.

Let her go.

[catfeeder]

By the end of your post I still don't understand what you want. Do you?

 

If you want nothing to do with her, then just be civil if she speaks to you in public, and ignore all else. If you want something to do with her, figure out what that is, tell us what it is, and then maybe we can help you.