28th day of no contact

[Chutney86]

So I'm on day 28 of no contact. Since the break up he has not tried to contact me and I have not tried to contact him. So I guess we are both doing no contact. This is the 2nd time we have broken up. Last time was 2 years ago and was for 6months. We would argue a bit because he would never treat me as a priority, spend time with me and when we would go out it would always be with his friends. I always told him that these things made me upset but instead of talking he would get very angry at me and it would turn into a row. Things when we got back together haven't changed. So 28days ago I ended it. I really didn't want to but I felt like he gave me no choice. I was very upset doing it but he was calm and just said "well if this is what you want". I know I ended it but I would have liked for him to acknowledge whether I was ok or not. Does any1 here know whether no contact works a 2nd time around?

[Movingforward3]

I wish I could paint you a rainbow, but no contact isn't a solution for making him want you. It is a place to help you heal. Sometimes, it can work that way, but typically you both start to live your lives and move on. I had hoped for the same thing with my no contact, but it just put up more of a wall. It wasn't helping me try to stay in touch, so no contact is where I went. To help myself.

If you want him back, you will need to be direct and contact him now that you are at 28 days. It is really up to you. If you do choose to contact, you need to make sure of the following: you are ready, you are in a good place mentally, no being upset or crying or begging or puppy dog eyes. You are fun and light and as you were when you met. No talk about breakup. Just chat and keep control of conversation. Don't go on to long and keep him wanting for more! Work up toward more contact and lunch at some point. This will take time. Be patient if you choose this path!

[Astrogirl]

Did you also go no contact during those previous six months? If so who broke no contact and how did you get back in touch?

[Chutney86]

Did you also go no contact during those previous six months? If so who broke no contact and how did you get back in touch?

He contacted me about 6 weeks after we went no contact the first time. He played a lot of head games within the first couple of months. So I went totally no contact the last 2 months before getting back at the 6month mark.

[Chutney86]

Should I be the one to contact him though whenever I felt like I had no choice because of his behaviour to end it? He is a very stubborn character and I would be afraid of him not replying to me. I am so torn as to what to do. I still love him and miss him very much. My friends think that I should not contact him and he should be the one to contact me but this far gone is telling me he won't contact me.

[Astrogirl]

So it's quite possible history is repeating itself. Keep up with no contact and if you want him back don't give in so easily. Set up your boundaries and stick to them. He may think because you took him back last time it'll be as easy the next time around. I'm going through similar and it's over ten weeks no contact for me.

[Chutney86]

I'm not sure about this time. When I got back with him I told him how things needed to change or I'd leave. I really don't think I should contact him whenever I was left feeling like I had no choice with him but to end it. He never treated me like a priority, took me for granted etc. I would explain to him that all those things were annoying me and he would turn it into a row. He would constantly say to me he was sick of the rows but our rows were me stating I wasn't happy with how he treated me then he would get angry and it would become a row. I'm sorry to hear ur going thru similar. People say it gets easier but even when I'm trying to heal, it doesn't seem get easier. I miss him lots 😔 We were together 5 years

[Astrogirl]

Seriously your post is exactly like my situation. My advice is not to initiate contact and wait this out. I was in a relationship for five years with a stubborn man and now we're ten weeks no contact. Still I won't budge and accept his behaviour.

[Chutney86]

Aww sorry hear that too. It really does suck. 😔 I really don't think I will make contact cuz I really think it should be him after all he was the one that left me feeling like I had no choice. He had a choice. Yes u are right, should not accept his behaviour.

[Astrogirl]

It hasn't been as long as last time so I think you have plenty of time to see if he contacts you. I was left with no choice also and my suspicions proved me right: he doesn't care. For once let's put this all about us and by our silence we are saying: no more.

[Chutney86]

I don't think this time he will contact me. He just doesn't care the way I do. I always had the belief if you love some1 ul do whatever it takes to keep them. He let me leave twice. I really don't think he loved me the way I loved him. Yes u are right.. No more! 👍🏻

[Astrogirl]

But he let you go the first time and came back. Like I say, he knows he can have time away and eventually you'll take him back. Well this time it should be him worrying not you. Fill your head with thoughts of you and how great you are as a person.

[Chutney86]

Yes true. But I always told him id not go back a 2nd time. Yea it really shud be. U are so right. Thanks I will do that. I know I am a good person and deserve better than this 😊 U sound like a great person too 😊

[Astrogirl]

Thank you. I also gave my ex the understanding there was no return. Private message if you need any advice you'd rather not post publicly.

[Chutney86]

I will never understand men! Thank u lovely 😊