Prom

[Pippin]

I asked a girl to prom. As long as she doesn't have to babysit her siblings, it is her parents' anniversary the weekend of prom, she said she woudl consider going with me. Now the problem. My parents are complete homophobs. If I go to prom they will want to know who I am going with. I told them I wouldn't go unless I had a date. I don't know how to break it to them. Anything on telling them or avoiding having to tell them? Thanks in advance.

[circles]

hmm tough. if i was you i would tell them as soon as possible, so they can get over it and i could move on with my life, but then again if they really are "total homophobes" they will probably try to "fix" you, and be suspicious of your friendships with girls. I suppose its up to you, are you comfortable your parents not knowing about your sexual preferences? i mean do they discuss their sexual preferences with you? If they really are "total homophobes" maby you should just leave them to their ignorance? tehy dont really NEED to know, as long as your responsible with your own decision making....

you could tell tehm you changed your mind about not going without a date....

im interested to see what everyone thinks of this situation, its kinda tricky, i wouldnt make any rash decisions....

[JoyieGracie]

YOU HAVE TO TELL THEM. BUT YOU CAN JUST TELL THEM YOU ARE GOING AS FRIENDS. THERE IS NO EASY WAY TO BREAK IT TO THEM, AND I KNOW YOU KNOW THAT IF THEY LOVE YOU THEY WILL ACCEPT IT EVENTUALLY, EVEN IF THEY DISAGREE WITH IT. THE SOONER YOU DO, THE EASIER IT WILL BE BECAUSE YOU WILL NOT HAVE TO THINKOF IT ANYMORE.

[Meow18]

I think that the sooner you tell your parents the better, before you even tell them about prom. I think you should sit them down and talk to them about it. Tell them that you love them and that you really want them to accept you and be apart of your life. I think you parents will be shocked at first, but hopefully they won't take it so hard and kick you out or something crazy. If you need any help with talking to them or anything, just ask.

[Cadence308]

I don't know if you should tell your parents who you are going to the prom with and what your sexual orientation is. You are only 16 and living under their roof. If they are extreme homophobes like you said then it may not be safe for you to come out and could be more stressful for you than the situation of them not knowing.

 

My sister is 100% straight and in high school her and some of her female friends wanted to go to prom, but didn't want to go with their boyfriends because they were sick of them. So my sister and three of her friends rented tuxes and went to the prom like that together and had a blast. Nobody's parents thought anything of it. Of course all of the girls did have boyfriends at the time. But, you could just tell your parents that you couldn't get a date or no one asked you and you still want to go so you and this other friend of yours decided to rent tuxes and go together to avoid a lonely evening while everyone else is at prom. This way, you are telling them you are going with a girl, but making it sound like you are going just as friends to have fun like everyone else. You will still be able to take this girl that you like to the prom and it can be a date, but you can avoid the issues that may be raised with your parents.

 

I just think you are very young and the situation may not be safe to tell you parents. Let us know what happens on your hot date.

[wolfluver]

I agree with that last post. I would just tell them that you are going with a bunch of friends. There will come a right time for you to tell them that you are gay, but if you do that now they may be so freaked out and forbid you from even going. Parents can do crazy things when they are shocked with a situation (of course anyone can really). Ultimately the decision is yours. Good luck to you!

[spaggle]

ello, if u have any good guy friends, they cud pretend to be going with u, like pick u up etc. the only problem with that is if ur rents are like aww dont they look sweet together, coz tht cud make u feel a bit guilty. but it's up to u. however i totally kno what u mean about having homophobic parents, grrr.

[Pippin]

well, thank you all for making comments and helping the confused little person out. Well it turns out I don't have to worry about telling my parents because she pretty much pushed me off the empire state building while screaming her girlfriend's name at me.

[Pippin]

Ok, Major stuff. Mommy and Daddy found out I wasn't exactly straight. They took it ok but I'm still waiting for the other foot to drop. The girl decided yesterday that she wanted to go to prom with me. Prom is tomorrow. So I will fill you guys in if anything interesting happens. We are working spotlights for corronation.

[Channy1727]

well what happened???

[Pippin]

Well, I'll let you know after prom. lol. Prom is in about 2 hours. I'll try and get a picture of the two of us as well. Hopefully I'm going to be able to stand by the end of the night. lol.

[amour_13]

I recently had to face the same decision of deciding whether or not to tell my parents. I told my mom and she said it was not allowed under her roof. Since, she trusts me sooo.. much, she believes me that we are ONLY friends, but she still is suspicious sometimes. Anyway, I think if you can handle the feelings of guilt for hidding stuff, it would prolly be best to wait to tell them until you are able to survive on your own. It is best to expect the worse. They can make your life a living hell like my g/fs parents have done.

Basically, it comes down to what matters to you most. A peaceful life? or being honest?

[Pippin]

Back from Prom. She didn't want to do anything all night. I asked her to dance and she said no. Eventually I did get her to dance once, but only after I picked her up by the waist and carried her to the middle of the dance floor and put her down. She took off and started dancing with some guy she didn't even know. I don't mean like friendly how are you doing dancing either. We had a stage set up and the back drop was like 15 foot in the air and we had gossamer hung from it. So I walk behind there to get to the other side of the stage so I don't have to fight through everyone and what do I see? I see the two of them slow dancing with their bodies pressed together and they are looking each other in the eyes and are only about an inch apart. And the thing that pisses me off more is that she is supposively engaged to Adam and she is dating Meri. So I bring her to Prom and she ditches me. I'm going to go paint or drink or scream or something. It's 3 am so screaming probably isn't the best idea.

[wellswomyn]

Pippin, I wonder if she had the same idea about prom as you did. Maybe she really just thought you were going as friends, or maybe she really isn't that into you and just used this as an excuse to go party with other people. Either way it sucks. Sorry you had to deal with this on prom. You must be glad you didn't tell your parents though. maybe you should try to meet some new people. have you ever checked out link removed or link removed? it's a good way to find other lesbians nearby.

 

you'll be okay. forget about her. she sounds like she's not worth all of your energy anyway.

[Pippin]

wellswoymn, you are right. We had that conversation last night. She doesn't want to be with me. And I don't know if she just used me as an excuse to go to prom or the party. It's not your fault, so. And I didn't have to tell my parents. They found out somehow. My mom told me one morning that she knew and then everything pretty much went to hell. Jeff was thought to be murdered that night. They later thought it was either accidental or suicide. Jeff was the first person to die that I remember knowing. He wasn't just some person my parent were friends with that I didn't remember and just had to go to the wake for no reason. Then the next day I found out Blake was in a car wreck and he was on life support. Blake was a 14 year old alto saxaphone player. He was like a little brother to me. We are all one big family in band. He died that night that I found out. We had MAP testing all that week. No one would tell me if he was dead or not until my first hour teacher annouced it, at which point I bolted from class and Devon had to come find me. I had collapsed on the floor in tears. We had Contest the day of his funeral. We got a Division II when we should have gotten a Division I. Things have just been going down hill from there. Sorry, I didn't realize that all just came out. Opps. I would try those websites you said but I'm sure you have to be 18 and I just don't want to meet some creep that says they are 18 and then they turn out to be like 58 or something. I wish I could forget about her. I just can't. I'm falling head over heels for her and I can't keep her out of my head. But thank you for all of your help.

[wellswomyn]

Pippin, you don't have to be eighteen, so go check out link removed. really, if nothing else it will give you something new to explore online and take up some time and distract you. Poor 'lil pip. I hope you have a good week.

 

Oh, I just had a thought... your last post was very free-flowing, kind of a stream of consciousness writing. do you journal at all? it can be very therapeutic, and it sounds like you've got some stuff to work out. you might want to give it a try, just be sure to find a safe place to keep it so you don't worry about anyone finding it.

 

hugs, k

[pizzachick13]

pippin, i really think that if this girl doesn't like you as much as you seem to like her, then she isn't worth your effort.

 

she doesn't seem to be a nice person if she ditched you right at the prom and you then go behind the stage and see her dancing with some guy. she isn't good enough for you so i think you should just move on, unless of course she decides that guy was horrid and she was just too scared to dance with you in public. but even then, you shouldn't have to be with someone who is unsure of themself.

 

good luck

 

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