What does this feeling mean?

[Dylan111]

No I am not "feeling sorry for myself" just this is how I have felt for the longest time. I have felt like this since around 2009ish. I have never felt special or important to anyone. I feel like I always have to prove myself(and I hate it). I have never had a close friend, sure I have had good friends just never a close friend type of deal. The friends(and family too, cousins etc..) never remember my birthday, it pains me whenever it comes around. I try my best to stop thinking about the day(my birthday) when it comes around. Even when I was in elementary school they have never remembered it or done something for it. I probably sound spolied but really I am not. I also have a few friends who I plan to do things with, with them. On the day of(this happens often) they either tell me last minute they can't do something anymore, or completely forget. Now I try not to look forward to things, just so it doesn't upset me as much. What does this feeling mean? Has anybody ever gone through something like this before?

[thejigsup]

You sound like you are human. No one remembers my birthday. So what? EVERYONE has a birthday and no one is special because of it. What, we did something special by being born? Nope. So stop thinking people should remember it and you will be much happier. My friends cancel on me sometimes. So what? They get busy. Heck, we all get busy. It says nothing about your self worth. It just means they had something happen that changed their plans. Stop taking everything so personally. Believe me, none of us is the center of anyone's universe but our own.

[Dylan111]

You sound like you are human. No one remembers my birthday. So what? EVERYONE has a birthday and no one is special because of it. What, we did something special by being born? Nope. So stop thinking people should remember it and you will be much happier. My friends cancel on me sometimes. So what? They get busy. Heck, we all get busy. It says nothing about your self worth. It just means they had something happen that changed their plans. Stop taking everything so personally. Believe me, none of us is the center of anyone's universe but our own.

 

I never feel like the "center of attention" and I'm just wondering why my friends cancel on me 99% of the time when we have had things planned out to do. They do this often.

[catfeeder]

Do you offer cards or acknowledgements of anyone else's birthday? If not, then you demo that you don't view birthdays as important, and so nobody else will think of viewing yours as important, either.

 

And most people simply don't think of them as important unless they are aware that it would mean something to you to be recognized on that day.

 

So, after making a habit of offering some small gesture for others' birthdays, as yours approaches, you can confide in the friends and family with whom you feel most comfortable that it would mean something special to you this year to have your birthday acknowledged. See what they say, and if it's not the response you want, be sure to treat yourself to something special on that day to help yourself feel better--and to recognize that it may take a few years of remembering the bdays of others before they learn to return the favor.

[Dylan111]

Yes. I usually buy my friends a card and small present every year for theirs.

[CluelessQuirk]

You sound like a hard person to be friends with. Lighten up and you will make better friends.