Girlfriend took erotic photos with a male photographer. What should I do?

[adamr27]

Hello, Me and my girlfriend are both 19. We've been together almost two years now and we're madly in love with each other. She makes me immensely happy, and I know my life would be miserable without her. Anyway she does some modelling gigs and is studying to be a fashion stylist. She did a few photo shoots with a middle aged French photographer named David several months back; not being paid but just a test shooting thing. He made her uncomfortable by constantly asking her to wear less clothes and push up her breasts. She told me about this and I told her she shouldn't go to him any more.

 

Flash forward to this week she's in her home town about an hour and a half away and tells me she is doing a photo shoot, I didn't think much of it and didn't ask who with. on Skype I ask her how it went and she says it was with David and that's the last time she's going because he again asked her to wear more revealing clothing and on top of that asked to kiss her, which she declined and immediately left. Later she tells me she has a "surprise" photo for me to see but to promise not to get upset I tell her I'll try not to.

 

The photo is her wearing only undies and a wet white t shirt and her pulling it down where her nipples are shown through the shirt and the rest of her breasts are exposed. This is just one of the many similar photos taken of her that I haven't seen yet. She says she did this as a surprise gift for those lonely nights that I'm not with her. I tell her I feel hurt and disgusted that she did this and I need to think about it, and that the guy probably masturbates to these photos and he might distribute them. I'm upset because she never asked me if I would have like this, she just assumed I would like another man taking erotic photos of her. I would've LOVED it if she asked ME to take the photos as I'm not a bad photographer. Instead she got defensive and said a lot of girls do these surprises for their boyfriends/husbands and they love it. She says If I have to think over this then I might as well be breaking up with her. What do you think? Is what I'm feeling normal? I'm confused and hurt I don't really know what else to tell her, or if this is a relationship breaker or not. Any help would be appreciated I don't really have anyone else to talk to.

Thank you

[mikesmith1]

That is a tough one..but here is my 2 cents

1. Remember WHY she got them done for YOU..so the intent was not malicious..their only photos and were for you.

2. Who took them if it was a professional most have some contract you sign saying if they release them without your consent they are labial so the won't risk that.

3. If it was this David guy..I would be a little concerned he does not seem professional.

I would say to her thank you However in the future ask me,,or hey let me take some..she may be all up for it..Don't be too hard on her.seems like her intent was innocent enough.

[greta96]

If you believe for a second that she took all those photos for you, then I have a bridge to sell ya...cheap!

She clearly loves that kind of attention (as she grows up, she will realize that kind of attention is not as flattering as she thinks it is, but right now she's still very immature), and wants to pursue a career in modelling, even as a side for money. Most run-of-the-mill modelling involves nudes and doing the nasty with the photographers, if they want to get even a tiny gig here and there. The world is full of these "models".

She did it for her portfolio, not for you, but told you what she did in an attempt to soften you up and avoid a bad reaction - which in my opinion is justified, I would have had a cow myself. Hey, even the poster above bought into it! She was just hoping you would too. She will use those pictures from now on, as part of her portfolio, to get gigs. Had she wanted it to be for you, she would have asked you to take it, which would have made things much hotter, right? She didn't have to go back to the exact same photographer who had made his own intention very clear, so clearly she wasn't all that uncomfortable with his advances and requests.

 

It's up to you what you do from here. You already have been given a preview of the kind of world that fascinates her and wants to belong to. Will you be ok with it? Because this is just the tip of the iceberg. Sex sells, sexy sells, so don't fool yourself into thinking all her future modelling will be done fully covered. She may also have to provide sexual release to "important" people, here and there, are you ok with that too? Because this is how this world works.

If the answer is no, then you have no choice but break up. You can't force her to abandon her dreams and aspirations, if this is what they are.

[agent1607307371]

not being paid but just a test shooting thing

 

She needs to work her brain. He's taking those photos for his own use. If she wants to be a model though, this is sadly par for the course. Modelling is a brutal business, and the fact that she went back after she said he made her uncomfortable shows that she gets this.

 

Honestly, yes, boudoir photography is a decent business. I have a male friend who does it, but the difference is that he is professional, has standards of behaviour, and is being paid to do it.

 

 

She's letting you know that either yuo shut up about what she's doing or she'll dump you though, so you should think about whether she's really right for you, and how happy you can be with someone who does this kind of thing.

[mikesmith1]

I stand corrected i forgot woman= Liar thanks I do not know what i was thinking posting that oops ^^^^^ is correct

[greta96]

I stand corrected i forgot woman= Liar thanks I do not know what i was thinking posting that oops ^^^^^ is correct

 

Of course SOME women are liars, just as SOME men are liars too.