Which one?

[aberdeenhjetman]

Well this is kinda moving away from getting back together but its still related so here goes.

 

well basically i got dumped an still really like the girl(she dumped me because 'it wasent the right time for her to have a bf). that was 3 odd months ago n well ive stayed friends and aint had anyone else since.(becausse i aint bin interested mostly rather than waitin out for her)

 

now the problem. ive been chatting and gettin to know one of her friends quite well an ive only met them once briefly while i was going out with my ex. but i *think* i quite like her (they both have the same name as well which is a bit weird) .

 

On saturday it is my ex's birthday party and i think the other girl will be there.

 

Also recent communication with my ex has been fairly low(we live a lil bit apart) but i got a call from her a few days ago and we had a nice chat about nothin much really. one thing i noticed is that she was with another one of her friends and before she has become more 'warm' to me wen that friend was stayin with her.

 

Bit confussing really. but what i would to know would be how to react towards the two girls.

[Beec]

I'd be aloof. ALOOF, ALOOF, ALOOF. Like you did not care whether they wanted you, hated you, adored and worshipped you, or were ready to burn you at the stake. Like nothing they said or did bothered or affected you ina good or bad way.

 

I'd also be cokky (censored spelling, make the first "k" a "c"), just a bit, and funny, while at the same time trying to be nice. When serious, pay them a compliment: "I like you earrings"; "I like you hair that way"; etc. When cokky: catch her fussing with her hair or makeup in a mirror and tell her "it doesn't look THAT Bad, then smile"; tell her she only wants you for your body, then sigh; bring a friend, and say he is you protection in case some woman begins to rip your clothes off. Just do it in a joking manner.

 

And then right after you do this make fun of yourself. Make them laugh because of something you call yourself. Say: "Of course, if any woman did rip my clothes off, it would probably be because she was trying to save herself from looking at this ugly sweater / shirt / etc."

 

You'll probably get one of them if you can do all this.

[aberdeenhjetman]

shound like a plan.

 

that should suit there personalitoes quite well.

 

also my ex is mayb goin to the same college as me next year(we're currently at different schools) so i'll be seeing more of her.

 

which leads me on to, what do i do if:

 

a) im gettin on well with my ex and think theres a chance to getting back 2gether

 

b) i get on well with the new girl

 

c) i get on really well with both of them

[Beec]

Then you juggle, until you notice you are making up your mind.

 

In 2002, I was seeing one woman, call her Beth, and another, Kim (not their real names). I went on a business trip, then when I returned was busy and called Kim, first, and did not think about calling Beth. Kind of told me that I did not want Beth, without me thinking much about it. So Beth was gone, and I was dating Kim and another woman, Amy. Amy and I were hot for each other, so I stopped dating Kim. My point is that your emotions will steer you into making a choice, if you are really seeking something long term with one or the other.

[aberdeenhjetman]

right thanks.

 

isnt life funny i go from having nothing toa possible two at once.

 

how annoying.

[aberdeenhjetman]

well it was her party last nite and the new one wasent there.

 

but i got along well with my ex(as did a few other people) but i was the last one to leave and while wait i was chatting to her and her parents. and a couple of good things were said namely i was asked what school i went to by her parents and my ex replyed with

 

"he's goin going to the same college as me"

then i said

"yea either that or moving"

which is when she said "no your not"

 

which must b a gd thing.

 

problems thou are that my ex got hold of my phone and was reading my messages all(bar about 3) are from the other girl and quite flirty.

 

and also my other girl knows that i still like my ex.

 

damm

[Beec]

Did she see your messages before or after this exhcange at the end of the party? If before, I don't know that there is anything bad in what you describe.

 

Her finding out there is another woman interested should be good. It shows you are desirable and that someone might take you. This should have a good affect on her.

 

Her knowing you like her still might normally have a bad affect. You want to be aloof, but this is tempered by the other woman.

[aberdeenhjetman]

yea it was before.

 

well thats alrite but what about the new one knowing about me still liking my ex? i should b goin to brighton with her(on our own) next week and she told her friend about us meetin up.

 

well i dunno that she knows i still like her but to be honest im not very subtle in some ways even if i try to be.