If wishes were fishes....

[treesandbees]

Here it is, can't edit the first post. Maybe a mod could add that back in for me into my first post since it goes with my thread title.

]

[imsuperman]

Hi and been awhile, imsuperman. Thanks for replying way back then. I had a pretty big emotional set back and went offline so sorry for this late reply.

 

I'll post on your journal after just to give you and it a hello. I am certain is is probably more interesting than mine lol betting by heaps.

 

It is difficult to see loved ones age, reminds us that will be us one day too and to cherish the right now even more. Nice you are close to your folks, do they still treat you like you are 10 though like mine do me at times?

 

Not really anymore. My mom was protective to the point of being overbearing for a long time. I finally had to separate out form it when I was in my early twenties, because she could guilt me into not doing normal things which was having a negative impact on my life. She was, for whatever reason, more protective of me than my younger sister.

 

I hope you're feeling better.

[treesandbees]

Aw, thank you for saying that.. I was for a bit but you know how things from the past suddenly crop up and just when you think you are past certain pains, OUCH! Bam! it gets you once again. I don't like winter much, the dark early, the cold and snow very depressing, I know some love it...but nope.

 

Oh, and overbearing mom. Did that ever help or only bother/hurt you? Least you knew she loved you loads though. I know its awful to tell a parent enough already - I am my own person without them thinking you don't love them or that you are not grateful for all they did for you. Were you a sick child, and your sister wasn't? Or maybe your dad was protective of your younger sis? I recall drinking out with two of my friends ( sisters) and fell because I was drunk and face planted in gravel and skidded along lol and got it all in my face and when my mom saw me the next day at dinner ( I slept in ) she didn't say anything, just continued eating and talking to my sister.

[treesandbees]

Saw this poem and it sums it up for me.

 

 

Ebb

 

I know what my heart is like

Since your love died:

It is like a hollow ledge

Holding a little pool

Left there by the tide,

A little tepid pool,

Drying inward from the edge.

[imsuperman]

Aw, thank you for saying that.. I was for a bit but you know how things from the past suddenly crop up and just when you think you are past certain pains, OUCH! Bam! it gets you once again. I don't like winter much, the dark early, the cold and snow very depressing, I know some love it...but nope.

 

Oh, and overbearing mom. Did that ever help or only bother/hurt you? Least you knew she loved you loads though. I know its awful to tell a parent enough already - I am my own person without them thinking you don't love them or that you are not grateful for all they did for you. Were you a sick child, and your sister wasn't? Or maybe your dad was protective of your younger sis? I recall drinking out with two of my friends ( sisters) and fell because I was drunk and face planted in gravel and skidded along lol and got it all in my face and when my mom saw me the next day at dinner ( I slept in ) she didn't say anything, just continued eating and talking to my sister.

 

I know. I get off at 6 so it's dark then. It's no fun.

 

My dad was more lenient with my younger sister, and more strict with me. My mom's big doomsday scenario is us getting killed at the wheel in a car accident. She especially hates anybody driving in the winter. I feel sorry for her because it is a very real fear for her.

 

That's unbeliveable, my mom would have passed out if she saw me like that haha.

[treesandbees]

Hi again, imsuperman.. not having a great day or week since the 11th. Hoping I have a better Sat- Sunday for myself. Hope you have a nice weekend too.

 

I hate the get out of work and it's dark..makes me wanna go home and tuck right into my bed for the night. Energy levels beyond low then.

 

That's interesting about your dad being more lenient with your younger sister, my dad was stricter with me then my mom ever was, but my mom is a coddler to my older sister though. It's like she can do no wrong even though she manages to do a lot of wrong lol Bless her she needs to get out of that loop for sure. Do you have to call your mom to tell her you arrived when ever you leave her home so she does worry and know you got home safely? Did she have a loved one die in an accident before?

[imsuperman]

Do you just have the one sibling? I used to have to call my mom and tell her I made it to whereever. Yes, my aunt died when I was three. Went left of center in the winter time.

 

I'm sorry to hear it wasn't a great week. Try to have a good weekend

[treesandbees]

Hi again... imsuperman.. I have some half siblings( from my dad's remarrying ) but only the one full lol she is a few years older than me and has a daughter.

 

Aw, I see that is why it concerns and worries your mom so much then, has cause to think way she does. I don't like winter roads myself, spun out in a taxi and various other cars every winter..one time ripped the front off a car as we landed in the ditch because we hit black ice.

[treesandbees]

I feel so tired lately,I know it is a combo of darker days, not much sunlight/sunshine and depression but I don't feel like I enjoy anything anymore..if it wasn't for my upcoming nieces bday and Christmas for the kids in the family I would go away for a month and hide out somewhere...I know my aunt would pet sit my kitty for me.

 

Was listening to Stary Olsa songs and fixated on the Metallica One lyrics I feel that way.

 

I can’t remember anything

Can’t tell if this is true or dream

Deep down inside I feel to scream

This terrible silence stops me

 

 

Darkness

Imprisoning me

All that I see

Absolute horror

I cannot live

I cannot die

Trapped in myself

Body my holding cell

[imsuperman]

Yeah it can be dangerous,. I've learned to just take it slow. I try to keep in mind that all vehicles stop eventually, and it's best not to run into anything to cause that

 

I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with depression. Hopefully your family being around during the holidays helps out some.

[treesandbees]

Thank you, did you have a nice recent holiday?

 

Here's hoping no winter road accidents for yourself and myself this year...

 

I spent my weekend shopping like a crazy person for early Christmas gifts.. I am not a last minute shopper, I got most of my gifts, for all the kiddies and some adults and all wrapping paper and cards. So much money spent though I think the distraction of retail therapy helped lol

 

Have you started yours yet? My niece gave me a three page gift list I can pick from Hahaha baby greedy guts.

 

Why can't I change my own profile pic on here, can you? I tried to change it yesterday tried through URL and off computer ( well friends pc, in case of viruses lol?) and it kept saying invalid but it was re-sized to fit the forums format, what am I doing wrong here? The admin put my last picture up for me, I hate to bother him again just to keep swapping out my photos.

[treesandbees]

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”

Rumi

[treesandbees]

“The soul is healed by being with children.”

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

 

The truth.. no one makes me happier than my niece, no one! I love her more than I even love myself.

[imsuperman]

Thank you, did you have a nice recent holiday?

 

Here's hoping no winter road accidents for yourself and myself this year...

 

I spent my weekend shopping like a crazy person for early Christmas gifts.. I am not a last minute shopper, I got most of my gifts, for all the kiddies and some adults and all wrapping paper and cards. So much money spent though I think the distraction of retail therapy helped lol

 

Have you started yours yet? My niece gave me a three page gift list I can pick from Hahaha baby greedy guts.

 

Why can't I change my own profile pic on here, can you? I tried to change it yesterday tried through URL and off computer ( well friends pc, in case of viruses lol?) and it kept saying invalid but it was re-sized to fit the forums format, what am I doing wrong here? The admin put my last picture up for me, I hate to bother him again just to keep swapping out my photos.

 

It was nice. Ate a lot, but somehow didn't gain weight.

 

Ugh, I haven't done any shopping yet. But I cheat and usually just take my family out to eat. I should put more effort into it, but I'm not a good gift buyer. Still have to buy for the nephew though. I only shop for nephew and immediate family. I wouldn't know what to get my grandmas or my aunts.

 

Hmm. The only thing I can think of is maybe it doesn't like the file type and you should save it as something else. I forget if it's png (or something) that it doesn't like.

 

Glad to hear you were able to get out a little and maybe get your mind off things

[treesandbees]

That's a real blessing to eat all you want and desire and not gain a single pound, pass it my way if you don't want that witchcraft

 

Tsk on the shopping, jk Taking them out to eat sounds like a nice gift and probably gets expensive if you have a lot of members in your family. Gift cards are great options though if you don't like picking out gifts, just get a few for books, movies, music, spas and so on... I don't like buying others clothes, so I give clothing gift cards to shops they like the most instead. Excepting my dad and uncle I always buy nice sweaters each year for them. Woman are so much harder to please with clothing lol For your nan and aunts, book gift cards would be nice if they enjoy reading.

 

What are you getting your nephew a game? Or toy? My nieces bday month is Dec too so I spendy spend spend!

 

No my image is a jpeg and re sized to the form formatting sizes it doesn't make sense this happened last time too and I tried off a laptop, desktop and phone and it says invalid on all.

 

Go check out my sketchy haha drawing in the off topics thread rose and crown. I cannot use paint on the computer very well but I am a fan of bad drawings by others too. The trying is what matters lol

 

I went and swam for awhile over the weekend and that helped too.

[imsuperman]

It's not that fun. I wish I could add a lot more muscle but I can't eat enough.

 

I might get him a book, but I'm not sure which. His birthday is mid January.

 

Strange. I know that if I use the "Upload Image From Your Computer" option it never bothers me about the size of the file, it's just like it fits in right away.

 

Haha, you're still better at Paint than me. I don't like MS Paint at all.

 

Oh swimming is good exercise. It's very tough.

[imsuperman]

That's a real blessing to eat all you want and desire and not gain a single pound, pass it my way if you don't want that witchcraft

 

Tsk on the shopping, jk Taking them out to eat sounds like a nice gift and probably gets expensive if you have a lot of members in your family. Gift cards are great options though if you don't like picking out gifts, just get a few for books, movies, music, spas and so on... I don't like buying others clothes, so I give clothing gift cards to shops they like the most instead. Excepting my dad and uncle I always buy nice sweaters each year for them. Woman are so much harder to please with clothing lol For your nan and aunts, book gift cards would be nice if they enjoy reading.

 

What are you getting your nephew a game? Or toy? My nieces bday month is Dec too so I spendy spend spend!

 

No my image is a jpeg and re sized to the form formatting sizes it doesn't make sense this happened last time too and I tried off a laptop, desktop and phone and it says invalid on all.

 

Go check out my sketchy haha drawing in the off topics thread rose and crown. I cannot use paint on the computer very well but I am a fan of bad drawings by others too. The trying is what matters lol

 

I went and swam for awhile over the weekend and that helped too.

 

It's not that fun. I wish I could add a lot more muscle but I can't eat enough.

 

I might get him a book, but I'm not sure which. His birthday is mid January.

 

Strange. I know that if I use the "Upload Image From Your Computer" option it never bothers me about the size of the file, it's just like it fits in right away. Haha, you're still better at Paint than me. I don't like MS Paint at all.

 

Oh swimming is good exercise. It's very tough.

[treesandbees]

Could you take those protein shakes, or the stuff body builders take? Would that work, Idk but you could try and see...if you want to add a few extra pounds, my mom always says wait til you hit your 30's and your metabolism changes and you'll be wishing you could take off the weight easy like you can keep it off in your 20's.

 

Books are great gifts maybe ask your sister what books she thinks he'd enjoy, so you go into the book shop with some ideas in hand.

 

I am getting the admin to help me again, because I gave up trying myself I gave him the url link to tinypic hosting site I uploaded it too but he said the image wasn't available so I re sent it again today. I couldn't get the from your own computer to work for me either.

 

Lol, thanks... my therapist has me draw in some of my sessions and he always gets a chuckle out of my take on what he asks me to draw. I usually hand draw those but use Paint sometimes, just can't get a good grasp or steadiness using Paint.

 

I love swimming... I don't force myself to hit the pool often enough in the winter season though and since most of the exercising I lke to do is outdoors ones, it gets difficult when it's minus out and ice and snow.

 

Do you play other sports besides basketball?

[treesandbees]

Wanted to re add my passed away kittenlove into my journal again... she got deleted when the forum was editing out all the links, url image stuff. Need the comfort of having here on here with me. My other kitty won't sit still enough for a decent pic *grumbles*

 

]

 

RIP.

 

[imsuperman]

Could you take those protein shakes, or the stuff body builders take? Would that work, Idk but you could try and see...if you want to add a few extra pounds, my mom always says wait til you hit your 30's and your metabolism changes and you'll be wishing you could take off the weight easy like you can keep it off in your 20's.

 

Books are great gifts maybe ask your sister what books she thinks he'd enjoy, so you go into the book shop with some ideas in hand.

 

I am getting the admin to help me again, because I gave up trying myself I gave him the url link to tinypic hosting site I uploaded it too but he said the image wasn't available so I re sent it again today. I couldn't get the from your own computer to work for me either.

 

Lol, thanks... my therapist has me draw in some of my sessions and he always gets a chuckle out of my take on what he asks me to draw. I usually hand draw those but use Paint sometimes, just can't get a good grasp or steadiness using Paint.

 

I love swimming... I don't force myself to hit the pool often enough in the winter season though and since most of the exercising I lke to do is outdoors ones, it gets difficult when it's minus out and ice and snow.

 

Do you play other sports besides basketball?

 

I drink one to two protein shakes per day. 24 g protein but only 120 calories per scoop, so they don't do a lot for weight gain. We'll see if it slows down as I get older.

 

Do you usually swim outside? Or do other exercises?

 

Nope, just basketball. Usually basketball on Mondays and Wednesdays (we only play on Friday about 25% of the time). And then I do weights usually Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. Our workforce manager keeps telling me I should stop playing basketball because I'm burning too many calories to add muscle but I love it too much

[treesandbees]

You probably burn more calories than you are taking in if you cannot add pounds like you want? so office manager is prolly correct, sadly but don't quit what you love ever. Have you asked a nutritionist?

 

When I was in my late teens and early twenties I would go dancing at the clubs and lost several pounds and try like crazy to put it back on all week because I felt I was too thin looking without those extra pounds.

 

I almost always swim outdoors in summer even into fall season, lakes, beaches usually on trips, outdoor public or private pools and in the colder season I swim in heated pools. I prefer feeling the wind and sun on me then being stuck indoors.

[treesandbees]

I finished all my Christmas shopping this weekend and put up my tree and decorations which my cat is tearing down as I type Just have to gift wrap everything so it looks pretty and fill out my cards and mail my cards to people who live away from me. I'll be happy when this year is over.

Just have to plan something to do for NYE now, no idea... probably a house party somewhere. Would love to travel to NY and do that Times Square(??) ball drop dealie. Fat chance more like never.

[treesandbees]

Current mood in a photo:

 

]

 

song :

 

Unbreak my heart by Toni Braxton

 

Hello, bed... old friend I am coming!

[imsuperman]

I probably should see somebody about it. I'm trying to eat more but I really am hungry throughout the day. And that didn't really start until this year. I may scale basketball back a bit to once a week every other week or something like that, it's very taxing with the workouts. If we play all three times liek we did last week, I basically feel like I fell down some concrete stairs for a day or two. I feel like if I were a little bulkier it woudn't be as tough on me.

 

I've never even been to NY, but I want to go to Madison Square Garden for a game soon. My cousin even read we can take the bus overnight or something just to go for the day.

 

I did all my shopping yesterday, including for my sister's birthday which is this week.

[treesandbees]

I still think ^ in a few years your metabolism will change on it's own but if it truly bothers you, why not make an appoint come the new year with a nutritionist and see if 6 months or so down the road after you can be at your desired weight.

 

I haven't been eating too much lately been depressed, last week and especially today is really low for me And here comes Christmas to have to plaster on a fake AF smile for others as not to ruin their good times. Same ole. I feel like taking over all my gifts and staying home in bed Christmas day, also I feel like I want a new kitten No idea why.

 

NO don't scale back basketball it makes you the happiest, doesn't it? Do you skate, just wondering? That all I do in winter for sports, other than swim indoors.

 

You should go, be a fun trip for you. When are the basketball season games over, maybe make definite plans to hit one up before season ends? I know nothing about basketball, sorry season might already be ended?

 

Grats on doing all your shopping.

 

Hope you have a lovely Christmas with your family and a happy new year too.