Friend getting to be too much...

[Naya2279]

Ok, I'll try not to make this too complicated. I've had this best friend for 20 years now. We've been friends since kindergarten and we're 25 now. We went to grade school, high school, and even college together. She actually started at another college, but ended up transferring to mine, but that's another story..lol.

 

Anyways, what I'm dealing with now is this. I almost feel like I'm dating her instead of anyone else. She's just always there. She calls me like 3 or 4 times a day and if she can't get ahold of me she'll call my parents or stop by where I'm supposed to be at or whatever.

 

All of my other friends call her my girlfriend because she's always there. She gets soo mad when I have a date or hang out with some of my other friends. She really doesn't have any other friends except for me now that she's moved back home.

 

I work 4 evenings and she stops into work every week at least 3 out of the 4 nights just to talk. Then on my 3 days off she calls and wants to do something every one of those nights. I usually go out with her on Friday night and my guy on Saturday night, but now she's starting to show up at his place, too. He's not liking this situation at all.

 

She's always telling me that he's no good for me and what nots, but all my other friends love him and are happy for me.

 

What I guess I wanna know is how can I tell her to back off a bit? I mean she's been my best friend for 20 years now, but since she's moved back home she's just there 24/7. I really don't want to have to be rude about it, but I almost feel like we're connected at the hip and it's really starting to get to me. She's never really had a relationship before and I guess she doesn't understand that we need some time just to be alone and not be with her. Any suggestions?

[tiger_lilies]

I would suggest that you don't tell her directly to her face that you think she needs to back off. I think that the subtle approch would be best since I'm sure that you don't want to hurt her. I suggest that you just make yourself busy...if she starts to show up at your house or your b/f's place unannounced, then you need to give her the hint that you would like some alone time with your b/f.

 

Above all, don't be mean about it...just gently push her into another direction and hopfully she'll get the hint. The point is to not be so available for her. It may take a while for her to build up enough confidence in herself to start doing things on her own, but with time, persistance and patience I'm sure she'll come around.