ulterior motives

[mickyads92]

Fair weather friends, flakes, I guess there are many terms for these people. I go to a commuter school and am pretty used to making "friends" that typically only last for a semester. I am used to it, but it doesn't mean that I am not bothered by it. I also have another circle of friends, mainly people that I have met through working retail or through friend of a friend type situations.

 

My issue is this. Ulterior motives. I would be willing to bet all my savings that I have never once received a phone call or text to "hang out" or just "talk" without the other party needing something. I have no issue helping people, I used to enjoy helping people, probably too much. I can go weeks or months without hearing from these people, then out of the blue I'll get a phone call from one of them acting like we are still best friends and then eventually they will drop the bomb "hey while I have you on the phone I was wondering...."

 

Am I selfish for just wanting to spend time with someone? I don't mind helping people but at the same time cant we just go out and have fun? For once? Please? I don't want to end up on your cold @$$ driveway working on your car again. Im not a cheap computer/auto technician you can just pretend to be nice to and call when you need something. Are these people even my friends?

 

No phone calls to grab a beer, see a movie, head to the driving range, check out a car show. All things I love to do, things that I hate doing alone that I end up not doing at all.

I'll be the first to admit that I am lonely and probably depressed, so whenever I get a call I never say no. Then I just end up feeling like an idiot for helping people that just use me.

 

Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.

[Willywagtail]

Maybe look at yourself in this? Why do people want to use you (your words) and not be friends with you?

 

Friendships are a 2 way street; maybe you need to think about the people you'd like to hang out with and invite them for a beer or a movie.

[luxurylover]

sounds like how i used to be. i feel like it's ok to ask for a favor every now and then. but if it becomes a habit from the same people, and youre giving giving giving, you have to ask yourself, are these friends? make sure youre letting friends into your life and not users. i had to clear out alot of ppl in my life for this very reason.