Another pound of cold lead for dinner!

[Elliot_Foskett]

My girlfriend of nearly 4 years cheated on me last summer. I forgave her and we tried to move on, despite her refusal to talk about the situation.

Now, as you would imagine there is a lot of history in our relationship and I won't bore anyone with it here.

 

I have become increasingly obsessive and jealous. I am - I hate to admit it - a complete pain in the ass. I see monsters everywhere; anytime I can't get hold of her, anytime she goes anywhere etc.

 

Well, anyway, she's just broken up with me. I feel like I've eaten cold lead. I know there's no way back. I know that even if she came back I should say no because I don't trust her.

 

Do I love her? I think so. My question to the world is this;

How the hell am I going to get through the next few weeks feeling like someone has died and not being able to see past the next minute without her?

 

We have viagra for E.D., we have asprin for headaches, when are they going to invent a pill to kill the pain of rejection and unrequited love?

Help.

[cassiana]

I know how you feel. I was dumped by the only man I ever felt sure about at the start of last April and i'm still in agony. I wish I had never met him. Im afraid to love again. I want him back and all the work I put into my life counts for nothing in affairs of the heart. No matter how bitter you feel or whatever daft rituals you perform we are there too. You are like you just lost a limb. I lost mine almost a year ago. I still limp. I cannot help you only to tell you that I empathise.

[annie24]

Hi - I'm sorry to hear about your breakup. For what it's worth, I feel for you. As for your relationship, it doesn't sound like it was much fun when you couldn't get a hold of her, that you would get jealous and assume she was cheating. Relationships should make you happier, not turn your stomach into knots. At least now it's over. Imagine how difficult it would be if you married her, and spent the rest of your life agonizing everytime she didn't pick up her cell phone. Is she cheating, or is she just using the restroom?

 

Only time will heal this wound. I'm sorry - I hope things get better for you!

[sdw]

I know how you feel man. The only way to get through it is to accept that

 

1) It's over and THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO....

2) No Contact, you need to DETACH from her life, do not try and find out what she is up to and who with, this is the most imortant thing.

 

So, I'm afraid that's all, it takes awesome will power so soon after the break up, but the less contact you expect, the easier it is to move on. I think the key for me was detaching, after a while you do stop obsessing about what they are up to.

 

 

Good luck.

 

Steve.

[ReadyorNot]

You know what this is a GOOD THING!!! !Trust me

 

I dont 100% trust my bf.. and I dont think he cheated on me (there was a questionable girl that he says was just his friend, but we were ona break anyway)

 

Its killing me that I dont trust him 100% and I know exactly what you mean by how it kills you when she isnt with you, or goes out on her own etc etc.....

 

You dont need to live life like that... there is someone out there for you who you will trust with everything you have... It is possible to live life and be with someone who you dont have to worry one bit when they say they are going out for the night and they will call you tomorrow...

 

I just need to convince myself of this as well.. but i realize it... and he has broken up with me a few times and I have actually felt a sense of relief but hten he woudl come crawling back and I love him so I didnt stop it.... but i would sort of feel depressed

 

I want to live life with someone who i can trust 110% and now you have the chance to do it... CONGRATS!!!! Its going to be hard for a bit, bnut you will get through it and find someone who is so much more worthy of you.

 

Good Luck.. Im here to chat if you ever need.

[Cecelius]

Let it hurt for a while, safe in the relief that its over. Go over it if you want, but don't get in touch with her. Soothe yourself for a while with whatever makes you happy, then when you're rested, start getting strong.

 

Bear in mind that you should have dumped her as soon as she cheated, no questions asked. She did it, she is responsible, and frankly, who cares if she dumped you -- she's a cheater.

[ShuShu Fontana]

I agree. She cheated on you and you deserve better than that. We all do. Grieve for the relationship. Write down everything she ever did to piss you off and screw you over. It will be cathartic and you will feel a weight lifted off your shoulders. Write it as if it were a letter to her, as if you are adressing her. Don't send it to her, this is for you. Don't contact her in anyway. You're going to feel down, it's going to hurt, but we're all here for you to lean on.

[Elliot_Foskett]

Thanks for the replies people. I never expected such an outpouring of concern and wishes. It's really nice to speak to people who treat an issue such as this with interest; most people just seem to say "Ahh, that's a shame" and expect you to get on with your life as if everything is ok. They don't seem to understand that your world has been ripped from underneath you, especially if you have been working at it and being bruised by it for ages.

Thanks all.