Reuniting with "someone" from your past

[eltee]

Has anyone met up again with someone they had a brief (or long) "affair" with after a long while has passed since. How was it? Is a friendship possible after so long? I'm meeting with mine this weekend and was hoping for some advise from those who have experienced it. To make a long story short, we ARE friends now. A year and a half has passed since our last "morally wrong" encounter.

 

let me know your thoughts on reuniting and formulating a friendship again with them.

 

Note: I know a lot of you have strong opinions on this, so what i dont want to hear is "DON'T SEE HIM". We all learn and figure out things our own way, you know?

[hockeyboy]

you cheated on someone with this guy, right?

 

are you still with that someone?

[eltee]

No, i had a brief relationship with a married man. I am single. He is still married. We are friends.

[hockeyboy]

We all learn and figure out things our own way, you know?

 

what are you trying to figure out/learn?

[eltee]

maybe to see if this friendship is possible with the baggage that we hold from the past. can people move forward? are friendships worth testing? stuff like that...

[hockeyboy]

did he ever tell his wife about you?

[Luscious]

In your unconsciousness do you think that you stil wanna be with this guy?

[eltee]

hockeyboy - no. she MAY know of me as a "friend". I don't ask.

 

Luscious - hmmm.. thats a hard one. Deep down, I know better that that. He is enjoyable to have in my life as a friend. I wish i had all the answers, but i'm just letting it ride.

[hockeyboy]

I know a lot of you have strong opinions on this, so what i dont want to hear is "DON'T SEE HIM"

 

your right...i do have an opinion on this.

 

neither you nor your fling are being fair to his wife. put yourself in her shoes..how would you feel?

 

there are sooo many people out there for you to get close to for you to be friends with. you don't need this one person to be your friend, look elsewhere. you are only inviting problems. not only that...but when you find a guy who you want to be with in a relationship...are you going to tell him that your "friend" cheated on his wife with you..or are you going to lie to him? thats inviting problems as well.

[eltee]

you bring up very valid opinions and I appreciate it...it did hit a chord in me. thnx

[hockeyboy]

do what you feel is right, but remember that theres a differenece between was feels "right" and whats feels "right, right now"

[annieo]

Eltee,

While I don't believe that having an affair is the right thing to do I put the blame on the married man not you. After all you didn't vow to be faithful to his wife he did. That said I wonder why you would want to be friends with someone who betrayed the person that most depends on them? I would wonder what his intentions are for wanting to have a continuing relationship with you even just friendship.

Don't you want your friends to be people that are honest, that you can be honest with and that you can be honest about your relationship with them to everyone else.

Even if you are just friends there still is a lot of dishonesty floating around.

I just think you would be better off without this man as a friend.

[Cecelius]

I would think that there is too much baggage related to the morally questionable encounter for it to be valuable to be friends with the guy. Put another way, you're still a participant in, to some extent, something wrong he did and for you to be involved with him is not really a moral plus. Friends don't do that to each other.

[tiger_lilies]

It's obvious to me, in my opinion, that either one or both of you are looking to hook up again and the whole "friendship" thing is just an excuse to be able to see each other again. After all, why not do "it" again since you guys seemed to have gotten away with it the first time?

 

I feel bad for his wife. I'd be furious if I were in her shoes.

 

I apologize if I sound harsh, but I am quite opinionated when it comes to cheating, most especially regarding marriage. He made a life long commitment to his wife, why help him discourage that?

 

Being platonic friends might be possible, but the chance of that happening in your situation is highly unlikely.

[Miss_Behavin]

Has anyone met up again with someone they had a brief (or long) "affair" with after a long while has passed since. How was it? Is a friendship possible after so long? I'm meeting with mine this weekend and was hoping for some advise from those who have experienced it. To make a long story short, we ARE friends now. A year and a half has passed since our last "morally wrong" encounter.

 

let me know your thoughts on reuniting and formulating a friendship again with them.

 

Note: I know a lot of you have strong opinions on this, so what i dont want to hear is "DON'T SEE HIM". We all learn and figure out things our own way, you know?

 

I reckon that there's no way you two are gonna remain 'just friends'. Not when there has already been an 'affair' between the two of you.

 

Whose idea was it to be friends/to meet up again? If it was his, then he's using the 'just friends' ploy to perhaps start up the affair again. I think you two pretty much know where it's gonna lead if you do meet up.

 

I'm kinda in the same posistion, however it's my 'first love', (we met in our early teens and had a six year long relationship), who just recently got in touch. He's married now, I'm not and I'm feeling real guilty continuing the mail friendship we have because he's married. My story is for another thread though.