long long time

[drydupfob]

Well, my first post in a long long time. I thought I had really healed from the break up that I had last march with my ex. Ever since college started I started to focus more on myself and the new friendships i was making and forgetting more and more about her.

 

So Y am I back? because last weekend i went to ucla with a couple of buddies to drink, and just kick back. Unexpectedly we met up with some of our friends from highschool so we decided to all chill and party together. So while everyone was getting buzzed some girl made a comment about my ex.... and I just completely lost it. I really didn't know wether to rip her head off or start crying. It made me feel so bad, like I havn't had for so long.

 

So due to my own stupidity and insecurities, I went out to look for a party and find a girl for a one night stand. unfortunately i found it and did my bussniess...... I Really don't know y I did it..... Or y is she still effecting me.....

 

any comments for improvement would be nice. thx

[drydupfob]

See the thing is that I too am against one night stands.... but some how I did it just to make myself feel better... It has been a tough year for me. What I had gone through, i really dont wish up on anyone. I listened to other people's advise about working out and doing other things. but at the end of the day, i just feel so empty.

 

O and one more thing, I'v been dating here and there. But the thing is that I Dont really let them get close to me. Or close enough to effect me. It feels like im really scared to let people into my world.... I wonder what i should be doing about this. btw working out has been paying off like no other, i have lost close to 60 lbs from the begginging of summer.

 

I just hate it how she can still effect me. I hate it so much