BoredUp Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 I hate my boyfriend right now. Things were actually really good for the beginning of the month, but he's acting like a complete a-hole now, screaming in my face, staring me down, being controlling, being a dramaqueen, picking fights over the smallest things (to me), not listening or doing anything about changing when things are important to me. Today he told me to leave and then give him a hug before I left, because I probably wouldn't see him again. I pushed him away after I hugged him and as soon as I had my hand on the door, he was like, oh I love you, don't go, tell me you love me, etc. For whatever reason, I don't have the confidence yet to actually tell him off. We've been through alot and I'm really trying to think things through, instead of my usual pattern of ending relationships early and then regretting my decision later. I'm almost at my breaking point, I feel like I have one more chance in me for him... a big reason I haven't ended this yet is because I don't want to be alone. I don't mind being single, actually, but I would be completely alone. As in, not one single friend. I get really depressed after awhile when I have to spend holidays alone and no one ever calls me. It's depressing wanting to go out to eat or to see a movie alone. I thought I could handle being alone for 2 years once, but I got really desperate and starting getting super self destructive after awhile. I wish I made friends while we were together. I'm trying to get out there and reach out to people now, but I'm having a hard time actually following through. Link to comment
mhowe Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 As you can see, being alone IN a relationship is infinitely worse than just being alone. Staying with someone out of desperation is the WORST reason to stay. Link to comment
mehr Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Hi there, My story is similar to you apart from where my relationship with my guy ended up 2 months ago and guess what he is married with someone who he never met before. After he left me I felt so lonely, as I never kept or made any friends while I was him for 3 yrs. Now, if you hate him and still want to be with him, I don't think so it's a right decision coz you will be chasing for something that he can't give you naturally. I am finding hard to make friends too. May be find people like you who are also lonely and difficult to make friends coz they are the actual ppl who can understand how you feel. May be one day we can make friends... With your boyfriend situation, see if you can give him a chance and see if it works for you. If not, don't be afraid to leave him. Sometimes loneliness teaches you lot of lessons. If hope this advise helps and if you need to chat more. Link to comment
relevart Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 You don't stay with someone because you don't want to be alone; you stay with them because you love the other person and it's a healthy relationship. This does not sound like a healthy relationship one bit. How would you feel if someone told you they were only with you because they didn't want to be alone? Link to comment
Dcgent Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 sounds like you need to makes friends and find a new boyfriend. Don't wallow in your sorrow and loneliness...there is a way around that. It's getting out of your current situation and finding avenues to make new friends, i.e. clubs, teams, events, volunteering, etc... Unless you live in the woods, there are plenty of people out there that can be your friend... Link to comment
BoredUp Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 We're going No Contact for a week. Day 1 was awesome, I felt really strong, was so relieved to have my space. Day 2 is pretty good, slept ALOT, started to think about the good times, just a little bit, kind of wanting to do things with him as a couple (there were some events I planned out for us, like a moonlit hike under the stars and going to check out a free local symphony), but maybe if we stay friends after all of this, we can still hang out and do things... and I would get the space I need. This one potential friend called me, but I didn't pick up. I was in the middle of watching a show and eating and just... didn't feel like it. I'm not really good at making friends yet. I was also supposed to go to a coffee bar tonight with a group, but unfortunately, everyone else probably has lives/significant others and when I asked the organizer who was going, it was just him so far. So, I cancelled and now I'm stuck at home, kind of lonely... but at least I'm free to do what I want. I just don't have the energy/motivation tonight. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.