Dependance during Time Apart

[charmed]

Hi Everyone !

 

It's been a while since I've been here, and over this past few weeks I have been hearing my own advice that I gave to so many here in my time.

 

The good news is that I've fallen in love again. It's been 3 years since I shut down and began a life of rational logic and simplicity. I met my girlfriend 2 months ago, and we connected instantly. We both want the same thing from a relationship and have an "all or nothing" policy with us. We both want to spend every moment with each other, and the time we spend is simply magic. She thinks I am a god - and I'm 95% sure that she is one too. Soulemates or whatever you want to call us - we really have something together. The strange bit ( and I don't consider it too strange) is that we are only really together a few weeks. It's been intense, it's moved fast - we are both 100% up for that and it's great. She is 7 years younger than me, and has never been properly in love before - not in a loving relationship I mean - but she thought she loved someone. I'm not bothered by the age gap - however, it does show a little bit at times that she is quite young in her attitudes to some things.

 

Anyway - I'm the happiest guy in the world at the moment thanks to meeting and getting together with her - and if everything worked out, I would happily spend the rest of my life with her.

 

Hang on charmed.......Are you insane? This short a time and you are saying things like that??? Chill out man !! I wish I could, but that is whats in my heart and that is how this really feels.

 

I'm consumed by this love right now. I'm not thinking about anything else really. I'm functional most of the time, but I find myself drifting in and out of dreams about us during the day. I know she does the same thing during her day - and we tell each other about our dreams when we are together.

 

I don't mind feeling consumed. I was in love once before, and it was the same. I was able to get on with my life, and it made life really worth living. What I'm having problems with is a feeling of dependance that is inside me - and at times it can turn into despair if a sequence of events happen. I've spend 3 years alone, and I really was a totally independent person up until 2 months ago when she came into my life. The best example I can give is the following:

 

We won't get to see much of each other this week due to work and life in general. We had planned on getting together on Friday evening, and spending the night together (we've spent a good few together last week). However, something has happened that perhaps we might not be able to spend this night together, and it's the only thing that would get me through the week without her - that reward if you like. It's possible that we may spend it together, but what concerns me is the feeling I get inside of me when that reward is threatened in any way. I feel so upset, so sad and so unable to make it through the days that I then have to spend alone. I'm not depressed (been there before) - but I feel really weak when this happens.

 

Has anyone got any ideas or thoughts on this? How is a person like me meant to get through those days alone when all I can think about is being with the one that I love?? !!!

 

AAAAAAAaggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!

So glad to be in love again - so so so so so so glad, but feeling things I've not felt in a while aswell !

 

Thanks guys,

 

Al.

[usied]

hmm well first off .the newness is always nice..and doesn't always last , but its def nice while it does...just don't worry when u feel that way, as long as you know she is still with you , and you will see her sometime in the near future you shouldn't worry...and you can talk to her about it ..she may be feeling similar emotions to yours... the best thing to do in a fresh realationship is to be open and honest about your feelings..bc then once the honeymoon stage is over you have a strong base to have something long lasting and wonderful...hope i was helpful...this coming from a person who hasnt had much of any realationship though... but if def observed /heard alot, and try and take notes

[lillady898]

Just try thinking about the people who have to be away from the ones they love for months at a time. I'm one of those people. I see my boyfriend maybe once a month if I'm lucky. I just think of the people who don't see their loved one for half a year or a year, or the wives who are taking care of their kids alone while their husband is in the military. I always think of the people who have it worse than me, and it makes it easier to deal with being apart.

[charmed]

Hi Guys,

 

Thanks for your kind words.

 

Lillady - I agree with what you say - and it is true - infact, there is someone in my life that is away from their loved one and I really do feel for them. It doesn't make it any easier for me though - especially when there are forces at work externally that have an effect on our love.

 

usied - true. I'm pretty smart and logical - and while we have our differences, I'm fairly confident that this relationship is going to last a fair distance. I know this is something about me that is a part of me. I'm a deep person, and I don't like hiding feelings. We met tonight, and she feels the same way as I do - exactly the same way. Its not easy on either of us, and there are things happening around us that are making it more and more difficult to be happy as we fall in love. As she said tonight - "how is it that when we feel like we should be so happy, we are feeling so stressed and sad?".

 

What can I say !!??!!

 

In love again - and feeling the rollercoaster of emotions again. Its been a while, and I'm thinking I need to ride the wave and keep a tight grip. She loves my honesty about this sort of thing - it makes us stronger together that we can truly trust each other - and it's good that this little test can bring us closer.

 

Thanks guys.

 

Al.