told my friend my feelings

[uongy]

hey guys.last night,i told my friend how i felt about her.i really love this girl,she has been through so much and i have real strong feelings for her.

 

her response was "I like you a lot Mike, but as a friend. Ur one of my best friends. I couldn't risk losing u as a friend."now,it really hurt me.i was gutted.that was all she said to me.we havent spoken since,i called her just after but she didnt pick up.ive been told to give her space which im doing.

 

now,deep down inside i want to be friends with her.i really do.and i know its early days and maybe my feelings will die down.i dunno.

 

i just need some advice on how to handle the sitaution.i love her but if she just cant risk the friendship,then i can respect that.

 

i dunno......im really mixed up.....any advice?

 

thanks.

[Meow18]

I must say, that was a really brave thing that you did. Even if you didn't get the response you wanted, it takes a lot to do something like that. People often regret not telling someone how they feel and I think its important to tell someone when it comes from the heart, even if it doesn't turn out the way you hoped.

 

I think it might be weird for a little while to be around her. If not for you, then maybe for her. However, it won't last forever, so if you can get over the awkwardness, things should go back to normal soon. It might not even be weird, who knows.

 

If she asked you to give her space, then you should. Most likely she said that because she doesn't want to lead you on, or for your feelings for her to get stronger. I would say that you should try your hardest not to get over her. In my opinion, no contact for awhile would work the best, but if you don't want to stop talking to her completely for a little while, then I would say to spend time with her less than you normally would. Whatever you think would be best for you and your feelings is what you should do.

[ashik]

just go with the flow, be her friend and if things r supposed to happen they will, maybe in a few months she develops feelings for u, its a good thing to told her..

But i also knw that being a friend of someone u love is hard, but if u really love her u gota be a mature about it and handle every situation from ur mind and not ur heart..

 

good luck.

[7CardStud]

if u become friends with her, those feelings will prolly never disappear ...

 

I would distance yourself... or the pain will never go away of "just being friends"

[Yorkrose23]

Well, she really is your friend. It was brave of you to tell her your feelings, and it was brave of her to be honest with you and tell you that she just likes yo as a friend. My opinion: Stay friends and don't expect for more.

[wlfpack81]

he does have a point in some respects. If you've felt this way about her in the past then you will continue too in the future. All that's going to happen is you're going to feel like crap seeing her all the time, yet knowing you can't have anything b/t you too. So I don't think you need to totally cut off being friends but for your good it probably is best to cut back on the friendship 50-60% (as in the amount of time you see her) as to not drive yourself crazy.

 

And I to believe it's hard for guys/girls to be friends unless one friend is either gay or unattractive. Normally if a guy/girl think each other is attractive then they will date. She gave you that line about being friends but being honest she may not feel the same about you physically as you do about her. Harsh but reality.

[ShySoul]

It was brave of you to admit your feelings like that. Hurting the friendship was one of the risks involved, but you took the chance anyways and that was a good thing to do. There is bound to be some awkwardness for awhile, until you can both sort out your feelings and get back to that comfort level you once have. If she needs space, respect her wishes and give it to her. But don't give up on the friendship. If you two were really friends, then you won't let this come between you. People can be friends after one has admitted they like the other and the other doesn't feel the same way. Time has a way of healing wounds and these feelings will eventually fade away as you become interested in someone else. Deep down, you will always care about her but come to realize that its just as a friend. If a relationship is meant to be, it will happen when its suppose. Don't worry about it and focus on keeping the friendship.

[uongy]

hey guys.thanks for the replies.

 

i suppose in most friendships this deep,it would be hard for me to stay in the friendship now that i have told her how i feel.however,we dont see each other that much(i would say in the region of once every couple of months at best).

 

i think i will be great friends again.yes,im hurt and feel abit awkward about the situation.but hey.....it will work out im pretty sure of it.i couldnt lose her as a friend to me.

 

thanks for the help guys.

[1strdko]

I was in the same situation. I told her how I felt and she wanted to only be my friend. Now she says I am her best friend and we have shared a lot of fun time together. I am realizing that I am not as attracted to her but still value her companionship.

 

I would give her her space and you can take her responce in two ways.

She either is not attracted to you now or she feels that getting involved will destroy such a good thing.

 

Attraction may develope over time. A great friendship like a relationship takes a long time. There will be many awkward times but you can work through them together.

 

Tell her you care for her so much that you will work through your emotions to remain friends because you cannot live with out her smiles in your life.

 

Gool luck!