Should I forgive my fiancé?--Tired of the stupidity.

[Lovestoned26]

We have been together for 3 years--I helped her through her breakup when we first met and she expressed interest in me some time later. I guess I wasn't thinking because...

 

(1) A year & a half ago I found out that while we were dating and sleeping together she slept with her ex (who broke her heart 5 months prior by leaving my fiancé for a man whom the ex later married)

 

(2) Prior to finding out, I asked my fiancé whether she slept with anyone while we were dating & she lied & said no

 

(3) I was able to move on after, or so I thought, but every time we get into an argument I throw it back in her face

 

(4) At the beginning of our relationship I asked her to stop talking to the ex & she agreed. Later I found out that she lied

 

(5) To this day she is still in contact with her ex--they work at the same job but not the same building

 

(6) There was another woman that my fiancé communicated with that I asked her to cut off (she was a drug dealer), my fiancé agreed, I later found out that she lied about that also--I found out on my birthday

 

(7) We are in a long-distance relationship & in the process of moving in together but I don't think I've forgiven/forgotten.

 

I have no idea what to do--why did I let the relationship continue?!! Had I known that she slept with her ex from the beginning I would have NEVER gotten into a relationship with her.

[Xylitol]

Leave, you dont want to be with a liar. Be nr 1 instead of nr 2 or worse a crutch until she can go back to her ex.

[puddingsnorts]

There is no trust in this relationship. It seems you don't even want to continue this relationship. Do you honestly feel she deserves your forgiveness? Do you think you can let go any of the issues you mentioned just by deciding you will forgive her? Is it worth trying to find trust in her again?

 

Don't let the feeling of "wasted time" hold you back from ending things. Choose your own happiness.

[relevart]

I suggest forgiving and forgetting... and leaving her ass. Forgiveness should be about you, not her. Live and learn, however you want to say it, but mostly, move on.