Addiction

[amunrah]

hi

I am person who needs some advise, addiction. Sexual addiction. I do not know when it started but it did. I am married but I cannot stop watching cyber porn or got to a brothel. I had different level of sex.

After having sex I feel so guilty and get dejectd more. I had sex with shemales too, this is the part of my addiction. I have no other addiction like smoking or drinking. I really do not know what to do ? Now I am into crossdressing.I never do it but I seems to have obsessed with it. I have downloaded pictures of TGs and I was very close to suscrbing a place where I can dress up with others since my wife does not know about it.

I come from good family and have a good job.

I am not sure why I am like this, can somebody help me.

Thanks

[gracee]

hi there, well it seems that you have a psychological problem towards sex..don't worry many people are suffering from it and i guess you should not be shy to open up such problems to psychologists or psychiatrist....but i could still help you by answering this, do your wife satisfies you in bed?how many time in a week do you do it?how many gf do you have before you settle down?do you do premarital sex before?answer this and i'll help you analyzed your attitude.

gracee

[Peteraider]

The only way you can rid of your problem is to stop. It's that easy, when you face this situation again say to yourself, will I do this and regret it and feel guilty or I'll deject it a feel like a changed man. God did not make man to be gay, he made us so we can be in love with the opposite sex. The best way to help you with your descision is to read the Holy Bible and pray to God. Since he created everything I have complete confidence that he can heal your problem and even give you a better life.

You may not like this post because it is true, you dont like it because you still like what you are doing. STOP. It will only lead to death and destruction. May God shed his wonderful grace upon you. Godbless and peace out.

[amunrah]

Gracee your reply

a) To question one- she does satisfy sometimes, mostly no. I am not sure whether I satisfy her or not.

b)We used to 1-2 in a week.

c) Single time before we settle dwon.

d)No pre-marital sex.

At present the situation is different. She is expecting so I haven't had sex with her for 6 months now.

Peteraider ...

I do not believe in GOD so much. I find it is beyond my comprihension. Those times when I feel sleeping away I used to call GOD to so do something which will force me not to do what I am doing.

It is hard to control,sometime I do sometime I cannot. I will get this strange anxiety attack.My whole body will feel warm and sleepy or little dizzy. I have gone through all.

[gracee]

hi there, well, it looks like that i still need to give questions for you to help you analyze more, first it seems that you don't have an early sexual life and you are still in a stage where you want adventures in life..answer this pls.is your wife the first person whom you had sex? i've read again your letter and it seems that you are just downloading porno pictures, did you have any experience with gays and do have sex with them? are you attracted to same sex only on the perspective of sex or do you see yourself having commited to them?

well, it seems that you are an adventurer of sex, but you know what i had a bf before who happens to be a first timer to have a gf and he just used fme for experienced, i think you are unwittingly and unknowingly using your wife, and since she can't satisfies you, you are looking for an alternative...why don't you have seat with your wife and talk things, try to open up things with her, i know its kinda hard and you are afraid of rejection or whatever reaction she might give you, or try to do some excitement when you are having sex with her, you may also have share of faults why she can't satisfies you...when you are about to do it, try to be naughty or try to asked her where she wants to do it,sometimes changing of doing area could help you...styles do it!

i commend you for still asking god's help, but you should understand that god will not help you directly, you are going through a hardship, well we all have our own right??? try not to surf the net and focus your attention to more healthy things...God must have sent the answers to your prayers but you are maybe too blind not to see that the things that surrounds you are the answers already, your wife and your work and children.when was the last time that you and your family went out for picnic or date?or go to church? do you spend time with your kids, have you attended to their school meetings,sometimes we need to divert things so that we can forget the bad habits we are doing...answer my questions and let me what i can help you..

gracee

[amunrah]

HI gRac

I never had sex with a man. My wife is the first person. She i svery religeous and she does not bellive that man can like expermentation in sex.

I think I have too sexual drive and it is growing becuase we do not have for sex for 5 months at a stretch.

Now I feel different, I feel SEX is something which is going to bring displeasure and guilt.

Sometime I get this feeling of have sexual pleasure. It is just a feeling which can cropp up anytime and is very strong. At that moment I cannot judge what is right and what is wrong. I get scare for that moment. It is like another indvidual when I get those feelings. until now I have deisisted but I guess soon I will get that attack. I get really helpless in front of it.

[gracee]

try seek advice from a psychiatrist, it could help, as of now what i can give you try to bear this in mind DOES NOT LIVE JUST TO HAVE SEX!!! AND SEX IS NOT EVERYTHING TO MAN!!!

TRY TO ENGAGE IN A MORE PRODUCTIVE ACTIVITIES, I KNOW ITS KINDA HARD SINCE YOU DON'T KNOW WHEN YOUR ADDICTION WILL ATTACK, WHY DON'T YOU TRY TO OBSERVE THE TIME, THE PLACE OR THE CONDITION WHEN THIS ADDICTION IS ATTACKING AND HOW LONG IT ATTACKS OR STAYS IN YOU MIND,THEN WHEN YOU KNOW IT OR AT LEAST ITS pattern ..try to engage in a more productive activities like weight lifting when it attacks you...oops i can't stay too long in the net, my boss might arrive...i'll hope you follow this..

gracee

[nechron99]

I just ran accross this thread, and felt that I should put my own 2 cents worth into the fracus here.

 

Sexual addiction is in large part based upon a chemical addiction. Sex releases lots of endorphins as well as a rush of dopamine. Dopamine gives us that 'high' feeling -- that sense of euphoria. The use of cocaine results in literally an 'overload' of dopamine release. And this is why it's addicting.

 

For some of us, our minds literally crave stimulation. And if we are in a situation where that stimulation doesn't occur, we then take steps to seek it out. 'Regular' people seek this via activities in the form of recreation, learning, socializing, etc.

 

Sexual addiction occurs when we are alone, feel alone, and need stimulation. We learn to either have 'sex with ourselves' or we act out and seek it externally.

 

Crossdressing (and transgender) pursuit is one form of seeking out 'self-gratification'. While there are a FEW individuals who could be catagorized as cross-gendered, my experience is that there is also the aspect of pleasure-seeking. Not only is there the 'sexual climax' finale, there is that 'thrill of the chase' as well. Both are sources of stimulation and dopamine release.

 

Crossdressing (and TG sex) can be considered a form of stimulation. Especially if 'regular' sex becomes boring or unappealing. From personal experience as well, what happened for me is that I learned to NOT put myself into the behavior, rather, I was seeking out the behavior to escape from myself.

 

It is not something that you can stop overnight, particularly if you have been acting out on it for a while. Like any chemical addiction, your brain has adjusted to the new level of stimulation and it takes time to readjust downwards.

 

I would suggest that you identify the things that you find 'stimulating' about crossdressing and transgender sex and then examine the 'cost' of pursuing it. Also look into yourself and ask yourself if there is anything missing. And if so, are there other, more rewarding ways to find it?

 

Hope this helps.

 

I found myself wrapped up into the whole crossdressing thing too. It was a real rush and a source of thrill. It also lead me down a path of increasing isolation, withdrawl and emotional implosion. I wanted to be a woman so that I could live a life full of colorful clothes, stimulation, freedom, radically different sex (how would it feel to have someone inside ME instead...), etc.

 

And yes, there are ways to get there. The real question though is ultimately what will you do when you 'get there'??? Stay within the TG/TS community? Learn to become a sociological 'outsider'??? Learn to live inside a much smaller 'little world'???