Dragon-heart Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 Hi all, after a turbulent Christmas and New Year, I have come to the realisation that I may not be the same person I used to be, I guess I have given up on the idea of love, I have realised that maybe I am not the kind of person that is meant to be loved. I've realised that after everything that has happenend in my life, I seem to have no emotions these days, I've become heartless and nothing can reverse that. I feel as if I have no purpose in this life. It's like I'm in a void. I've decided to go through a divorce and be on my own for a while. I did meet someone new, but it seems that I'm not happy even there. So maybe the single life is what I need. Am I making the right decision? Like I said before I find it very difficult to love anybody, and I don't think I even like myself anymore or what I've become. Anyways just wanted to find out if I can reverse this, I want my old self back and I don't know how to get there.. Link to comment
melrich Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 I guess from your post you have recently ended a marriage? You will be surprised at how much baggage you will carry from that. i do not know how long you were married but most experts will say that it takes up to 3 years to recover from a failed marriage, whether you were happy in it or not. You will carry a tremendous sense of guilt and failure and I am niot surprised you are feeling like you do...i felt excatly the same. don't even bother trying another relationship until you have given yourself time to properly grieve and accept your marriage break up. Link to comment
usied Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 hmm i wouldn't be hasty. i would maybe talk to a professional about things, help you sort things out and find yourself. i think alot of us go through such stages. im actually feeling pretty cold myself lately, my holidays were also not great. but i took that and am trying to make myself a better stronger person. maybe you have to look to do that ...bc first you must love yourself and be strong to be there for others Link to comment
DragonGirl724 Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 ok heres my immediate opinion here anyone who doesnt feel that they deserve to be loved needs to re-evaluate how they look at themself. would you consider yourself suicidal? being single & on your own can trigger immense happiness, BUT ONLY IF you are happy with yourself. otherwise you will feel the need to latch onto anyone you meet b/c you feel you are your own worst company when in solitude. youre in an emotional rut right now, thats all. this is not the end of the world, you will love & be loved again, you may also break hearts & be heartbroken once again. the idea here is that life will go on. now its just a matter of you putting your foot down & allowing yourself to be happy. no offense but youre gonna get nowhere on self-pity. did you ever hear the saying: "you cant love another once you learn to love yourself".... that may be the reason why you cant seem to be happy with anyone you meet. you have to be your own best friend first. i do see a gleem of light at the end of your tunnel, b/c you said you see the changes in yourself & you dont like them & want them to change. the first step to fixing a problem is to acknowledge it & you have so thats a good step in the right direction. next up you have to surround yourself w/ loving friends & family. leave the tragedies of 2004 behind you & take this new year by the balls & run with it! make 2005 a happier time for you. you can change what you have control over & youd be surprised how much positive attitude & outlooks on life can change your whole ora. keep telling yourself that you deserve to be loved & you will love & be loved again. but now its time to love yourself b/c face it; you are stuck w/ yourself for the rest of your life, so you might as well enjoy it. dont be ashamed to seek some kind of therapy either. you may find that itll be easier to express yourself verbally to someone who can pinpoint exactly whats going on & give you thorough assitance in changing your life around. evaluate your everyday life too much work no play? whats your job situation like? is it mentally exhilerating or so boring youd rather have your eyelashes plucked instead of being at your stinkin' job are there financial issues? (b/c i know "when im at my brokest i am at my worstest" ) so maybe a career change is needed or a 2nd job thatll intrique your mind more & make you feel worthwhile. maybe youre unemployed at the moment? now evaluate your social life do you have fun friends? do you have any friends? if you do are they boring ? maybe you should expand your social circle & get out more. boredom can lead to depression. i advise a lot of eNotaloners to look into joining a volunteer organization; it works wonders on your soul & mind & physically puts you out there & you meet new people on a regular basis. hows your health? i dont know if youve ever heard of the word "psychosomatic". its a natural subconscious reaction. the body behaves & functions according to how the brain is & the brain behaves according to the body. this happens to us naturally & sometimes without us relizing it can make us feel extreme happiness or deeply depressed out of nowhere. why not hit the gym. not only will it boost your self esteem & challenge your mind & body, but when you dance or exorcise it releases a chemical endorphine in your brain called serotonin & is an instant natural high. once you feel good about yourself, youll look better physically, have more confidence & become a happier individual. laugh it up life sucks sometimes it doesnt take a genius to figure that out! but try laughing at some of lifes downers instead of working yourself up & getting upset over it. laughter is the best cure sometimes. and it can come effortlessly, but only if you let it. does faith play a role in your life? im not gonna preach to you b/c im not really the type but i will say that when i was at my worst i seeked faith in The Lord & prayed & attended mass. if you have a religion try relying on God to help you find tranquility & peace of mind. being in church between ceremonies is so soothing to me. the quietness in the room, the flickering of candles, its very calming & beautiful. just pray & ask your God for some comfort through your troubling times. sometimes we have to rely not on our own understandings; for The Lord works in ways we will never understand. keep your chin up Dragon-Heart. the sun will come out tomarrow. keep posting. -DG724 Link to comment
Dragon-heart Posted January 11, 2005 Author Share Posted January 11, 2005 Thanks guys for all the advice, and special thanks to DG724 I think you've been the most help. Link to comment
DragonGirl724 Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 anytime fellow dragon friend. -DG724 Link to comment
Princess 01 Posted January 13, 2005 Share Posted January 13, 2005 Dragon Heart some wise advice to you. You said that you appreciate DG724 advice and its the best you had thus far. PLEASE TRY AND APPLY IT TO YOUR LIFE. Dont wait for stuff to happen to you because only YOU CAN MAKE THINGS HAPPEN. You only live once....... make the most of it. Link to comment
Dragon-heart Posted January 13, 2005 Author Share Posted January 13, 2005 That's exactly what I intend to do.. 8) Link to comment
FleX Posted January 13, 2005 Share Posted January 13, 2005 Woah Dragongirl should be my therapist. =P Link to comment
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