Taven Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Going on about 6 weeks BU, 5 weeks NC and I am adamant he feels like he was the love of my life (so far .... so god I hope) out of a long list of men that have wronged me. I miss him, I try not to think about him or the memories because it's so painful, my blood runs cold. But I'm getting through the days, I don't spend prolonged amounts of time thinking about him and I can (semi) enjoy things in life. This aboely terrifies me, I just want to feel terrible and a mess like I did with my past break ups! It felt like natural progression. I'm scared I'm going to platue when it comes to healing and that'll be it, I'll just be stuck with these painful memories. Sorry of this doesn't make total sense, it's hard to describe how I feel. TLDR; I feel like I'm coping well with my break up day to day, but on the inside I am terrified that I am always going to miss him and the memories are beyond painful. Link to comment
Twidom Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 It's been only 6 weeks. You need to give yourself some time. Some people take years to get over and recover fully. Are you always going to miss him? No, not always. But his memories WILL stay with you whether you like it or not. Link to comment
Taven Posted November 21, 2014 Author Share Posted November 21, 2014 It's been only 6 weeks. You need to give yourself some time. Some people take years to get over and recover fully. Are you always going to miss him? No, not always. But his memories WILL stay with you whether you like it or not. I just don't feel like I'm progressing, I don't expect to feel anywhere near better now. But I just don't feel like in a year I'm going to feel any different. I know the memories will always be there, but the only times I think of my ex's is when I'm heartbroken, and those memories don't hurt/bother me. So I want to get to that stage, where they don't hurt, where I don't miss him and where I don't love him anymore. Feel like I've lost a chunk of myself, god I'd do anything Link to comment
Twidom Posted November 22, 2014 Share Posted November 22, 2014 I just don't feel like I'm progressing, I don't expect to feel anywhere near better now. But I just don't feel like in a year I'm going to feel any different. I know the memories will always be there, but the only times I think of my ex's is when I'm heartbroken, and those memories don't hurt/bother me. So I want to get to that stage, where they don't hurt, where I don't miss him and where I don't love him anymore. Feel like I've lost a chunk of myself, god I'd do anything You're not supposed to feel progress yet. It's been just a month... Stop expecting so much from yourself. I cried straight for two months. It took me a month to be able to sleep. I lost a ton of weight and hair. It's been a YEAR for me and I STILL think of my ex. Does it hurt? Yes. But not like before. Not as much though. Every person is different. The key to get over your pain is accepting it. Accept you're heartbroken. Accept you're going to feel rejercted by life. Cry. Scream. Let it all out. And don't give yourself a timespan. You will be healed when you are. I'd give my arm and leg to have my ex back. But she won't come back no matter how much I cry. So, PLEASE, stop expecting so much from yourself. "Enjoy" your pain while it last. Pain is the best teacher. Link to comment
kbbcoop77 Posted November 22, 2014 Share Posted November 22, 2014 Your pain is there for a reason. You have to feel it, go through it not around it. You will come out stronger. Stay No Contact with your ex unless you want to prolong your pain. It sucks believe me I know, I'm 9 months post breakup after 24 years she left me. I've made a lot of mistakes, breaking NC being the worst. It sets you back. Move FORWARD and think about yourself and YOUR healing. Link to comment
NICEMAN99 Posted November 22, 2014 Share Posted November 22, 2014 24 years???? Must have been hard .... Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted November 22, 2014 Share Posted November 22, 2014 Six weeks is nothing in a breakup. You need to relax and give yourself time and understand not all breakups follow a set path and patter even with yourself. And sometimes the hardest ones to get over are the ones that don't make sense. It is what it is. Be extra kind to yourself. Take the pressure off to recover faster or within a time table and just find something external like a new activity to focus your mind on. You will heal, everyone does. You just need to give yourself time and lots of TLC. Link to comment
Taven Posted November 23, 2014 Author Share Posted November 23, 2014 Thanks for all the posts, I guess it is too soon to expect much change. I will just keep moving forward and hope that as time goes on the memories and the pain will lessen. I do miss im dearly, such a sweet guy. Link to comment
kbbcoop77 Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 24 years???? Must have been hard .... It still is. Hardest thing I've ever had to deal with unfortunately.. Link to comment
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