rainbows Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 so i will try and keep this one short.... I dont have a lot of friends. He was my best friend. We talked all the time and about everything. I fell madly in love with him. for almost 2 years i was trying to deal with these feelings. i dont think he knew, but I think he guessed. I realized he didnt love me the same way. Though sometimes i did feel he might be inclined romantically. Few days back he told me that he is still pining for his ex gf, and I opened my eyes. I told him how i feel, and that i need to keep him away to get over him. just for a closure. and he was nice about it and said he understood. and its over. suddenly, no calls. no messages. and its all over. and i literally have no one else to talk to about this. I know its good that he isnt calling me. its the only way to get over him. But I am too lonely and its making me insanely depressed. I am kinda suicidal sometimes, seriously insomniac and i am always looking for hiding places to just cry my heart out. I lost the one guy i really fell in love with, and the best friend i ever had. just cuz of my stupid feelings. I dont feel the urge to get up and go out and make new friends. I am plunging into despair and hopelessness and it feels ugly. But i dont want to be this way. I have to pull myself together. I just dont know how. I understand my problem isnt half as big as most of the people here. But my life feels stuck and I cannot get out of this at all! Please help. Just anything i can tell myself to start recovering? Link to comment
zentoCC Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 It's all about the baby steps. First few day just make sure you make yourself meals and shower, then try going for walks outside. Next join a group you don't need to go every week, just o e see if you like it. Slowly you'll rebuild your life. Its really quite unhealthy to only have your partner as the person you hang out with. I know because I've been there done that, you feel much more balanced if you have your own life as well. Good luck! Link to comment
rainbows Posted October 17, 2014 Author Share Posted October 17, 2014 baby steps. yes you are right. meals and shower. I can allow myself to stay in my shell for a while and just do the basic things right for the time being. thanks! Link to comment
flowergrl80 Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 Hi rainbow, I am in the same shoe as you. It takes time to get over someone. It hurts. You feel like your life is all over.You feel as the world just came down on you. It isn't easy. My boyfriend and I broke up just a week and a half ago. I am still trying to process. I do cry all the time. I get mad all the time. But the only way to stay strong and happy is to make yourself better! For me, I love playing video games. And it really makes me not think about other stuff! So every night i play video games for 30-1 hour. and after that I watch my favoriote tv shows! Also, having a companion helps me! I have a small white Maltese dog. I play with her all the time. I wil tell you the house is very quiet without my boyfriend. I don't have that much friends too but i do go to a church and they are alot of people there to support me. If you don't go a church, just do things you like to do! Keep yourself busy! Make plans for yourself! it really helps you get day by! I am sorry you are going through this. It is tough because it is a holiday season! hang in there, You will get through this! It takes time. Good luck!! pinkbunnie Link to comment
rainbows Posted October 17, 2014 Author Share Posted October 17, 2014 Hi @pinkbunnie218 thnk for answering to this thread. TV shows do seem to be helping me too. I love reading, i will try and divert my mind there as well. i hope i can start feeling better soon. and I hope and wish the same for you too. God bless you! Link to comment
flowergrl80 Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 No problem!! thank you and god bless you!! Hope everything goes well and be good for you! Cheers1 Link to comment
trust101 Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 There is a difference between loneliness & solitude. Some people who are in healthy, happy marriages feel very lonely & suffer those self-same feelings which you described. And hey, don't think your problem isn't big enough. Because it is, especially if you are having notions of suicide. Do you play any sport? A team sport really helps. If he was in your life now what would the two of you be doing? And why can't you do those exact things by yourself? I don't know if you notice but there are quite a number of people that eat at resturaunts, watch movies, etc by themselves. There is no stigma & they are not lonely. Just take it one step, yes. Coming here can be your first. Link to comment
rainbows Posted October 18, 2014 Author Share Posted October 18, 2014 hey trust101 i like what you said about people feeling the same way in marriages too. I have been so obsessed with wanting to be in a relationship, that I stopped looking at the bigger picture. And in all honestly, I dont think i would have been in the best and happiest relationship with him anyway. He has a lot of issues of his own, and they would have effected me eventually too. I dont play sports, but maybe i can just go for running and meditation like i used to long time back. Thanks a lot. I will keep in mind what you said Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 Goldie Hawn (actress) always taught her daughter to nurture lifelong female friendships because relationships come and go. I think this is pretty good advice and would encourage you to start nurturing those. Having a support network can definitely make healing from a breakup easier. Link to comment
rainbows Posted October 18, 2014 Author Share Posted October 18, 2014 Interesting concept. Yea i guess its good to have some girlfriends who can come to your rescue during times like these. I should probably send a random "hi" text my old friends. what can i lose from that, right?! Thanks for taking your time out to reply. *Hugs* Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 There you go! But better yet you can invite them out to dinner or something fun! Link to comment
rainbows Posted October 19, 2014 Author Share Posted October 19, 2014 Yea I have made plans with one of my friends. thank you so so much Link to comment
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